Today, my dad happened to mention he proposed to his girlfriend, who I had no idea he was dating. Turns out it's one of my old high school teachers, specifically the bitch who hated me as much as I hated her. My dad is so oblivious, he has no idea WWIII is about to start in our living room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered that my father is getting married. Overjoyed and confused because I didn't know he was dating, I called him up to congratulate him, and ask who she was. Apparently, his soon to be fiancée is my mother-in-law. My wife is not happy. FML
Today, my dad told me he was planning to have his steady girlfriend over for dinner. He's only had a few relationships since he and my mom split up when I was very young, so I was excited to meet the woman. He then told me that I knew her already. My dad is dating my aunt on my mothers side. FML
Today, I was talking to one of my supervisors at my new job. He asked if I knew a professor at the school I recently graduated from, and I decided to babble on about how shitty of a professor he was and how much I loathed his class. He then looked at me and said, "That's my dad." FML
Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML
Today, my dad's new wife, who is two years younger than me (I'm 24) and hates that I'm a lesbian, threw a fit when I told her that I would never call her Mom. My dad took her side. I don't live with them but still… FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the, "I know I'm not your mother…" speech. FML
Today, I found out my dad is dating my dead mom's best friend. FML
Today, my husband and my mother's hatred of each other has got so bad, I wasn’t aware of why until now. She was his headmistress in high school, then they had an affair while he was at university, shortly before he met me at a Starbucks and dumped her without knowing I was her daughter. FML
Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MidnaLink 35
Ok. Well one of you will have to be the bigger person in this since you both want what's best for your dad. I'm not, however, saying YOU'LL have to be the first one to be nice. See how this goes after the "initial" meeting.
tounces7 28
Was your hatred of each other specifically because she was your teacher? Maybe that can be put aside now? I mean it sounds like you're an adult so she shouldn't really be in an authority position over you anymore, regardless of where she stands with your dad.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (8)
MidnaLink 35
Ok. Well one of you will have to be the bigger person in this since you both want what's best for your dad. I'm not, however, saying YOU'LL have to be the first one to be nice. See how this goes after the "initial" meeting.
spinspinsugar 12
oh honey, it ain't gonna be WWIII, it's gonna be WWVII. My dad married a woman i can't stand, so i feel your pain, and i wish you the best of luck
tounces7 28
Was your hatred of each other specifically because she was your teacher? Maybe that can be put aside now? I mean it sounds like you're an adult so she shouldn't really be in an authority position over you anymore, regardless of where she stands with your dad.
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
honestly wish you could save a recording of this
mccuish 25
One of you is gonna have to be the bigger person. Do you want your dad to be happy or miserable?
AmbrosiaFan 19
I'm wondering about her side of the issue. Did she grow up and move on and hold no ill will? Or is she feeling the same as you? Be the better person and welcome her to your family.
juggalo2 22
Sounds like you've already graduated high school, so why don't you solve everyone's problem by moving out?
number1mutt 4
be an adult . let it go.