Today, I told my 13 year-old daughter that she was grounded from using her phone. Later on, I get an important call regarding a job that I have been after. After I'd picked up the phone, my daughter starts screaming, "HELP! RAPE! HELP!" on the other phone. I don't think I'll be getting the job. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I bought my daughter a rape alarm after she had a near-miss with a creep following her to her part-time job. As soon as I handed it to her in the car park, she accidentally set it off and one of her coworkers put me in a rather painful headlock and threw me to the ground, breaking my arm. FML
Today, I found my daughter playing on my phone. When I got it back, I saw multiple texts to my boss saying that I quit. FML
Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML
Today, my mom took my cell to work with her. When she got home later, she scolded me for not answering her calls. When I pointed out that she'd taken it, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school. They found her on the roof, threatening to kill herself. I had to pretend to sound scared and sad over the phone, but in reality, the only emotion I could feel was extreme joy. FML
Today, I had to end a phone conversation with, "I gotta go, my daughter's eating toilet paper." FML
Today, I checked my inbox and realized I got an email from a potential employer, saying they were having trouble getting a hold of me by phone. They called while my mom was using my phone to look up directions to a place, and she answered, kindly hanging up when they asked for me. FML
Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
Today, at work I got told off by my manager for texting while working. Enraged by this, I trash talked her to the new girl at work. The new girl, a.k.a. my manager's daughter. FML
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Top comments
noshitsherlock 0
WOW. Since it was so ******* important (HELLO, JOB), you should punish her by making her live off of the bare minimum for at least a month - NO CELL PHONE AT ALL, basic shitty food, no new clothes, etc.
Simbo_fml 0
wow. you have a really messed up daughter.
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Comments (246)
ghost010 6
She's 13, she doesn't need a cell phone, cancel it, then drop it on the floor in front of her and then proceed to smash it with a sledgehammer.
BECK_OR 0
r u jokin?? well did u ever? she needs a good clatter across the ear to get er back in ta line, nd I'm a teen me self. take er off u bill ta ****, let er pay for the fine her self so shel have if for emergencies. jaisus as bad as me nd me younger sister is we wouldn't dream of it. d yoke
MURPHYCHACHO 5
That's when you snap her cell phone in half in front of her and make it clear she's NEVER getting another one. Then, for as long as you see fit, take away EVERY luxury she has. Does she have a computer? Lock it up. The TV? Lock it up. Take away her music and any books she doesn't need for school. Also take away any nice clothes she has and make her go to school in t-shirts and jeans for a few weeks. Don't let her go out with friends, and give her an early bedtime and make sure she sticks to it. This is a little something called DISCIPLINE. Use it, and I guarantee she'll never pull this shit again. And if you think this is too mean? Deal with it. It's not your job to be nice to your kids all the time. It's your job to make sure they become functioning adults. If this is the way your daughter reacts to something as minor as grounding from a cell phone, then she's ill-prepared for life and needs a good dose of reality. (PS: I know it sucks to lock up the TV or computer to punish one person, but making sure your daughter grows up right should trump your desire to watch American Idol.)
magnis 0
this is exactly what my parents do to me when inget out of line (not that extreme but u get it) to me! and To be blunt I like it cuz i know I'll be a better person In the long run! so AMEN TO U!
Critter456 0
I hope you're chief slap a hoe from the kick a bitch tribe!
slicepaperwrist 0
totally agree w/ 273. I Have a cell phone. My dad found it in a car and he gets me 30 minutes a month for emergencies, cuz i walk home a few miles...and my neighboorhood's not the best either...
Greg73_fml 0
My sister pulled something similar to this. Except it was over her being grounded from living at the neighbor's and the result of it is I'm probobally going to jail.
aidenkush 0
what a brat! I would bitch slap her!!
Kai58 0
listen up OP, this bitch of yours, needs to get the **** slapped outta her, and dont give me that bullshit about how white parents dont discipline their kids that way, no thats stupid as ****, and you see where that went with what she did, dont be a dumbass, teach that little brat shit some respect and authority
Kai58 0
agreed "aiden" if thats your real name ;P
LadyStrange4129 0
I would've wanted to rip her head off!!! That was completely inappropriate and she should have harsher punishment...I'm not saying to hit her but she needs to learn respect.