Today, I told my 13 year-old daughter that she was grounded from using her phone. Later on, I get an important call regarding a job that I have been after. After I'd picked up the phone, my daughter starts screaming, "HELP! RAPE! HELP!" on the other phone. I don't think I'll be getting the job. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I bought my daughter a rape alarm after she had a near-miss with a creep following her to her part-time job. As soon as I handed it to her in the car park, she accidentally set it off and one of her coworkers put me in a rather painful headlock and threw me to the ground, breaking my arm. FML
Today, I found my daughter playing on my phone. When I got it back, I saw multiple texts to my boss saying that I quit. FML
Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML
Today, my mom took my cell to work with her. When she got home later, she scolded me for not answering her calls. When I pointed out that she'd taken it, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school. They found her on the roof, threatening to kill herself. I had to pretend to sound scared and sad over the phone, but in reality, the only emotion I could feel was extreme joy. FML
Today, I had to end a phone conversation with, "I gotta go, my daughter's eating toilet paper." FML
Today, I checked my inbox and realized I got an email from a potential employer, saying they were having trouble getting a hold of me by phone. They called while my mom was using my phone to look up directions to a place, and she answered, kindly hanging up when they asked for me. FML
Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
Today, at work I got told off by my manager for texting while working. Enraged by this, I trash talked her to the new girl at work. The new girl, a.k.a. my manager's daughter. FML
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Top comments
noshitsherlock 0
WOW. Since it was so ******* important (HELLO, JOB), you should punish her by making her live off of the bare minimum for at least a month - NO CELL PHONE AT ALL, basic shitty food, no new clothes, etc.
Simbo_fml 0
wow. you have a really messed up daughter.
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Comments (246)
ballkrusher14 8
Spank her, or some kind of harsh punishment. Because that is straight up disrespectful.
starieberry 5
I've have gotten the snot knocked out of me!!
ejboh1632 11
I would that child in a room with the bare minimum for well over month. That type of humor is not acceptable. NO MATTER WHAT.
Solano2580 24
Simple solution, say that because of that, you have to cut costs, say you have to sell her clothes, cut off the internet, and sell the phone
NostalgiaFreak9 43
That was beyond ****** up what your daughter did. She needs to get some serious help if she can't maturely accept being punished without doing something as stupid as that. I hope you talked it out with that guy on the phone and got that job.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Also, if I pulled something like that off when I was a kid, I wouldn't be alive to type this comment. I suggest you teach her about rape and why it's not something you can joke about.
NEkoiNU 18
I would smash her phone.
Raeloe 15
You really shouldnt have used a house phone for the call, but irregardless she shouldnt have acted like that; it was very uncalled for especially since it was for a very important call, which im sure she definitely knew about. Fyl
DEATHLORD_fml 16
No.Thats when you disconnect the phone and turn off the wifi.
fantasyworld 39
Tell her that rape isn't something to joke about. She needs more things taken away.