Today, I told my 13 year-old daughter that she was grounded from using her phone. Later on, I get an important call regarding a job that I have been after. After I'd picked up the phone, my daughter starts screaming, "HELP! RAPE! HELP!" on the other phone. I don't think I'll be getting the job. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I bought my daughter a rape alarm after she had a near-miss with a creep following her to her part-time job. As soon as I handed it to her in the car park, she accidentally set it off and one of her coworkers put me in a rather painful headlock and threw me to the ground, breaking my arm. FML
Today, I found my daughter playing on my phone. When I got it back, I saw multiple texts to my boss saying that I quit. FML
Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML
Today, my mom took my cell to work with her. When she got home later, she scolded me for not answering her calls. When I pointed out that she'd taken it, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school. They found her on the roof, threatening to kill herself. I had to pretend to sound scared and sad over the phone, but in reality, the only emotion I could feel was extreme joy. FML
Today, I had to end a phone conversation with, "I gotta go, my daughter's eating toilet paper." FML
Today, I checked my inbox and realized I got an email from a potential employer, saying they were having trouble getting a hold of me by phone. They called while my mom was using my phone to look up directions to a place, and she answered, kindly hanging up when they asked for me. FML
Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
Today, at work I got told off by my manager for texting while working. Enraged by this, I trash talked her to the new girl at work. The new girl, a.k.a. my manager's daughter. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
noshitsherlock 0
WOW. Since it was so ******* important (HELLO, JOB), you should punish her by making her live off of the bare minimum for at least a month - NO CELL PHONE AT ALL, basic shitty food, no new clothes, etc.
Simbo_fml 0
wow. you have a really messed up daughter.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (246)
angie323 0
Well when sprank 13 year she went for me! You have to pray with these kids. Especially when a dad may not want you to beat their ass but but be their friend instead:(
Pebbles89 9
how about you send your little bitch of a daughter to a boarding/ military school??? maybe she'll learn something there by getting yelled at and put down on a daily basis. that girl has a problem with the authorities, it seems, so show her who's the boss, how about you don't do SHIT for her, if she asks for a ride, tell her to find her own way, if she wants food, tell her, too bad, make your own, want to talk to your friends? too bad, you wont have any for the rest of the time she's living under your roof. and tell her she has to work for YOU in order to gain shit back, not all at the same time, but over a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG period of time. and shut off her phone, for god's sake, she doesn't deserve it, shouldn't of given it to her in the first place.
higurashil0v3 0
dammit, punishment doesent work at all, it is half of the reason children run away, join gangs, and it makes them angry/suicidal, but it depends on the kid.
magnis 0
punishment and disiplin keep children in line and shape who they are. ex: a person who WAS disiplined as a child will be respectful, polite and abide by rules where as a prleeson who WASNT disiplined as a child will be rude, break rules and not respect others (9 times out of 10)
M1RSH3 0
Don't let her go any where for a month, believe I know that'll work. While you're at it you should beat that little **** till she actually has something to scream about
princezz 0
Oh my gosh..... What a brat! Ground her! GROUND HER! She is such a brat for doing that. If that happened to me, heck, I would ground her ass and then call all her friends on her phone saying "I'm sorry. She won't be talking to you for a very long time because she is grounded. Also, tell everyone she is grounded so I won't have to see their faces on my doorstep, 'kay?"
brutal_banger 10
i'd take everything from her after that except a bed and 7 pairs of clothes 1 for each day then make the only phone avaliable be in my room and no allowances!! Many chores too
Heartacheforyou 0
Why was she grounded from using her phone.... anyways talking away her phone was a bad idea when i was 9 i almost got raped walking home from school. good thing i had my phone.
iLickTurtles 0
A 13 year old girl should know how important a job is, and how much trouble she could get into if the police became involved and investigated because the person on the other end of the line reported it. Tell her she's going to starve since you now don't have that job. (Your kid seems spoiled, no offence. It's time to teach her a thing or two)
Swampeh 0
and this is why we should still dicipline children
MinaIsTheBest 0
My mom would have kicked my ass. I would have been in deep shit!