Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at my friend's house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girlfriend if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dialed my number, only to find she had my number saved in her phone as "ASS FACE #3". FML
Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML
Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML
Today, I looked through my girlfriend's phone book and saw two entries with my name. One had "(cute)" attached to it. I checked to see if it was my number. It wasn't. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be funny to change my ringtone to some guy crooning "Thank heaven for little girls" and then call me during today's teacher-parent conference. FML
Today, I found out that my contact name in my girlfriend's phone is "Dipshit McFucktard". FML
Today, I got a new smartphone and wanted to surprise my girlfriend with a naughty picture with it. A few minutes after sending it, I got a reply back from my girlfriend. And my best friend. And my sister. And everyone on my contacts list. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML
Today, my 8 year-old sister learned how to type her name into a phone using the number keypad. I later found my phone on the kitchen counter with all my contacts under her name. FML
Today, was trying to have an adult conversation with my fiancée but she's always on her phone, so I sent her a text message instead. Relationship goals. FML
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Top comments
TheOtherNewest1 6
Am I the only one wondering WHAT the humiliating nickname is?
readme 0
Sorry mate, what did you do to her? Or is she just hating the replacement father figure?
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Comments (76)
Sunako_fml 9
Wow that sucks...
readme 0
Sorry mate, what did you do to her? Or is she just hating the replacement father figure?
iGreen_Day 0
Probably the latter. And LOL LOL LOL **** the OP's life, truly XD XD XD.
rainbowkissies 14
i honestly envisioned OP as female..
iMuffinKat 16
Me too, 74
TheOthin 0
Haven't there been like three FMLs from the perspective of the people in her situation?
Nonamerequired 0
Yes. xD
TheOtherNewest1 6
Am I the only one wondering WHAT the humiliating nickname is?
ScaryPants3 0
You are not alone.
americayay 0
I vote asshat. That being said, she probably doesn't like him for a reason.
jennifercw18 0
Eh, I'd vote "The fu**tard marrying my mother". But I'm very curious as to what it is, as well. =P
americayay 0
Lol. Why do people do this with their cell phones? If they didn't label people with nasty nicknames, this awkwardness wouldn't happen.
TenebrificTurtle 0
The best part is ringtones. "Not My Daddy" by Asshat would be the perfect song.
Rach_star 0
Hahahahahha, sounds like something that i would do.
ha_fml 3
well, what's the nickname?
EmzoTheStrange 0
LMAO that is hysterical. Don't be such a bitch to her and maybe she'll ike you.
Sun_Kissed18 25
He may not have done anything but rather he is just marrying her mother
kaprookie 3
35- Thats not true i genuinely believe OP mustve done something to her, i hate my stepdad but i have a reason hes a total arse to me he treats my like shit and my mum backs him up every second of everyday even if hes wrong, so OP if your doing that to your future step-daughter YDI completely if not FYL.
NDiesal10 2
35 and 61 maybe the daughter is the one being a bitch?
jonr93 0
Its absolutely normal for a kid to dislike anyone their parent is with who is not their other parent. She'll get over it.
failuristic 3
What Jonr93 said: There are a lot of kids who hate/dislike the new "father figure" in their life, and I should know- I'm one of them. ;P FYL OP, but on the other hand, don't take it too personally- it might be not so much that she hates /you/ as so much that she hates you replacing her dad or something like that :U
Vaetrus 0
So what? She's a kid. And not yours for that matter.