Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Today, I had to end a phone conversation with, "I gotta go, my daughter's eating toilet paper." FML
Today, while at a rest stop, I heard a woman in the stall next to me answer her phone and say to the other person, "Oh nothing just pooping and shit." FML
Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML
Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
blondeamazonian 18
Life with a toddler. Not sure what more could have been expected from that moment...
abbyade 21
Lol that's so adorable. Lol I don't know what you were expecting her to say. Cute!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (83)
Skinyrd 17
Oh shit. Haha. Too soon?
muzy 23
I thought I was the only one who did that when I was younger!
Skinyrd 17
I've embarrassed my parents way worse than that haha.
suszyy 9
at least you know shes an honest little one lol
gear4 29
that must have been shitty to hear
evanjl4 13
*The down vote tsunami is coming*
gear4 29
*witch doctor voice* ohhhhh yeaaaaaaaaa
ohSNAPyall 27
^wtf
blondeamazonian 18
Life with a toddler. Not sure what more could have been expected from that moment...
mxgirl1998 26
I agree, kids are full of unexpected things. I'm sure whoever was on the phone will hopefully find humor in it.
Brandi_Faith 34
No offence op, but this is ydi to me. You asked a 3 year old to answer your phone, what did you think she'd say? Plus, It's not like she'd be able to hold much of a conversation (well one that wasn't too embarrassing) while they were waiting for you to get out of the bathroom. You probably should've waited till you were done. Lol.
blondeamazonian 18
I actually voted ydi on this one in a humorous way. The kid is a three year old, so not much good can come out of that phone call. I was just hoping that caller was a close friend or family member, someone that wouldn't be to embarrassing for the op. Or a telemarketer. That works too.
abbyade 21
Lol that's so adorable. Lol I don't know what you were expecting her to say. Cute!
codytallica 38
LOL. Kids will be kids. They tell the truth without worrying about people's feelings. Wanna know how you look? Ask a child!
toongler 23
awwwwwwh that's adorable. Maybe you should explain to her that some things are private.
Johnnycake23 42
Time to ship her off to boarding school!
IWishIWasObama 12
you've got to be ******** me!
igive 29
Get out.
IWishIWasObama 12
why?
Dodge4x4Ram 46
aww kids say the sweetest things