Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I told my friend about a fight I had earlier with my girlfriend. He thought it'd be funny to use my phone while I was in the bathroom and text her "ure such a cunt". She wouldn't believe the truth, even when my friend confessed to her. She thought I paid him to take the fall. FML
Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML
Dad joke
Today, my immature dad said that I'm a girl, not a woman, so my witty response was, ''I have a period, so I'm pretty sure that makes me a woman.'' My dad stole my phone and sent a text to everyone in my address book, quoting me. Including the guy I like. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML
Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy by text. I felt so betrayed, I stupidly tried to hurt her by replying that I'd been cheating on her all along with a hot babe. Turned out the dumping text was actually a prank by her friend. Now I'm single and everyone thinks I'm a cheater. FML
Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend got high and decided to text all our friends and family the crazy stories about us. He was even nice enough to include pictures. I hear a nude one made it to my Dad. FML
A nickname that sticks
Today, I was at my friend's house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girlfriend if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dialed my number, only to find she had my number saved in her phone as "ASS FACE #3". FML
Fight your own battles
Today, I found out that my mum has been texting my ex-boyfriend to tell him what a dick he is. FML
Top comments
Lucious306 7
Never let friends use your phone. Sometimes they play around too much
LSS_fml 18
..... Ex friend?
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Comments (136)
Lucious306 7
Never let friends use your phone. Sometimes they play around too much
loufol22 5
I'm sure everyone know what you mean. Changing contact names. Calling and texting friends. Messing with crushes. Deleting apps
TrueTriage 16
Worst one that happened to me was before I had a code on my phone a friend thought it'd be hilarious to download a mobile **** app and put it at the first page of my screen. He then forwarded penis pill ads to my moms, dads, and grandparents e-mails from me. Oddly enough I didn't notice the app untill my step mom screamed while pulling up YouTube on my phone..... I should've known he'd do something when he said I should take a nap after working 13 hours....
loufol22 5
22- why didn't you post that on FML
LiterOfCola 16
Distributing the gay hub mobile application randomly amongst the pages of apps of a friends phone is my favorite trick ;)
_Oblivion_ 12
33 That sentence went to mars and back
wickedninja918 1
32 he probably tried to
LiterOfCola 16
Dammit 45 you're right! Friend's*
israelnotjacob 20
If this story is real, any "friend" like that not only shouldn't be a friend, but is the kind of person who should be blamed for half of the problems in this world. I can't even fathom why anyone would think it's funny to do such an asshole thing.
onlychildFTW 34
And phone passwords!!! Don't forget a phone password!!! And not one of those android swipe ones. Talk about easy to figure out. Haha.
spikeisfat 6
Op kinda deserved it, whenever I lend my phone to a friend I watch what they do...
sens3sfailing 25
111-yeah, easy to figure out if you are an idiot who makes it a line. 4 numbers? Watch their hands and you will get it. With my password I have showed my previous passwords to friends and taught them how to do it and it took them quite a few tries, and this is after watching me do them for a while. I only don't even use all of the dots and it still stumps everyone...
TheNewGuy03 29
As the saying goes, "Friends don't let friends use their phones." Or at least that's how I thought the saying went, because the "their" can mean either side. I hope you *at least* superman punched your "friend" in the face. For both your sakes. Because he needs to feel it, and you should totally vent.
ninjafury101 2
It's probably because he spelled '******' wrong
littlemsweirdo 12
And 'dumpd'. What a moron.
NuTrees 9
Question: what does that mean, 'dumpd'? The slampiece is dumpd riight?
decidedlyvague 11
No, his friend texted his ex from ops phone that he had found a new sexual companion and that he was breaking up with her. The fact that his ex won't listen to him can mean several different things: A) she's a jealous crazy person. B) she doesn't want to talk to him right now. (Understandable with text break up/finding out that your bf might be sleeping with other people), or C) she thinks that her bf has been replaced by a cast member from jersey shore.
LSS_fml 18
..... Ex friend?
Futacy 30
And ex girlfriend :(
skullofdarkness 18
Late friend. If I had a friend do that- I'd still be friendly enough to send flowers to their funeral… which would be rapidly approaching…
chellyX92 8
I think the quotation marks imply the whole ex friend thing.
desoto96 9
Kick his ass sea bass.
cameron194 9
The gloves are off, time to do something EXTREMELY drastic and completely **** up his life.. Start planning OP, the longer it takes to formulate a plan and the more intricate its, the more satisfying it will be to see this "friend" in a crumpled , miserably defeated heap on the floor
doctorhook86 25
93: Or instead of being childish the OP could just move on with his life without this shitty friend.
VBjew 3
I don't care if its my best friend since kindergarten. I love him like a brother but I'd beat the shit outta him for that. I agree with you completely. You don't do shit like that to someone's girlfriend especially if its a friend who ur supposed to care about.
alcoholmage 14
So why won't your girlfriend believe you if you told her it was some asshole ... There's no reason for her to believe the text if you denied it.
jojimugo 20
I agree it seems the girlfriend is a bit immature. If he says he did not text her, she should give him the benefit of the doubt.
xNephilim 19
"Honey, I swear it wasn't me! My friend used my phone!" Yeah, that's so not believable. I'd get the friend to explain it.
crammer1 6
Yep I wouldn't believe it either. I have a lot of guy friends who have their friends cover for them even when they are lying, so even if the friend tried to explain it to her I wouldn't believe it. Poor guy!
Isoldael 27
On the other hand, why the hell would her boyfriend send such a text to later deny it? That makes no sense unless he's known for sending drunk texts or something.
decidedlyvague 11
Really? if someone said, "hey bitch I got a new slampiece ur fukin dumpd." In a text, and later said that it wasn't them that you wouldn't believe them, even if it might have been completely out of character for the person to say that? Fair enough. I'm glad i have a password for my phone O.o, girls are crazy.
cameron194 9
Yea really 90, a guy is gonna say all those things to just turn around and make an excuse to get out of it.. Y would he have told her that in the first place.. Guys don't like it when women bitch at us.. Believe it or not you women out there.. we don't always love the sound of your voice.. Soo it wouldn't be a far stretch to believe that one of our "friends" had done it( cuz you know, that's what guys do, **** with each other in new and exciting ways)
decidedlyvague 11
Nah, 94, it's still an extremely asshole-ish thing to do. If someone did that to me, I would probably systematically destroy their world.
Dthnte 15
This is stupid, the girlfriend would obviously see this as a prank, unless OP usually swears and doesn't use correct grammar.. and uses the word 'slampiece' o.O
MrSassypants 34
Looks like your girlfriend isn't the only one you're going to break-up with.
iOceanus 18
Yes, the friend is a ******* douchebag. Someone needed to say it if it hasn't been said.
outoftown 27
(dumb comment deleted by author)
BulldogHoops 14
Dammit, now I REALLY want to know what you said.
ariachan_fml 3
Maybe that was what they said, and it's all just a conspiracy...
TrailblazerSS 5
31 - You don't say?
Kiki242 19
People really need to think about the consequences their pranks can bring. I say capoeira kick him and make him explain.
Krajjan 9
See, that's what the problem with society today is. No one resorts to violence anymore. It can actually solve quite a lot.
Devilpuppy0861 7
Agreed 28, but we all know capueira isn't exactly the most hardcore means of righteous vengeance. His friend would probably just laugh and bet his ass.
TheNewGuy03 29
He needs the most formidable form of ********-crushing martial justice there is: Muay Thai. Tony Jaa his scrotum into deep space, then have him explain. If he can't explain, kick him again. Repeat ad infinitum.
Krajjan 9
Just hit him with a brick. What the **** is with you people? Is everyone a ninja now?
tomhofer 14
My brothers girlfriend found it hilarious to text my boss homosexual comments from my phone. She could never understand why I was pissed off.
SoylentCandycorn 10
You should tell your brothers gf that even if you were into men, you wouldn't ever let her watch, and that she has probably reading too much slash fiction for her own good.
obnum 19
Please punch him in the face. He sounds like a douche.
illmatic2 16
Get your "friend" to talk to her. Then beat the shit out of him.