Today, I told my 13 year-old daughter that she was grounded from using her phone. Later on, I get an important call regarding a job that I have been after. After I'd picked up the phone, my daughter starts screaming, "HELP! RAPE! HELP!" on the other phone. I don't think I'll be getting the job. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I bought my daughter a rape alarm after she had a near-miss with a creep following her to her part-time job. As soon as I handed it to her in the car park, she accidentally set it off and one of her coworkers put me in a rather painful headlock and threw me to the ground, breaking my arm. FML
Today, I found my daughter playing on my phone. When I got it back, I saw multiple texts to my boss saying that I quit. FML
Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML
Today, my mom took my cell to work with her. When she got home later, she scolded me for not answering her calls. When I pointed out that she'd taken it, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school. They found her on the roof, threatening to kill herself. I had to pretend to sound scared and sad over the phone, but in reality, the only emotion I could feel was extreme joy. FML
Today, I had to end a phone conversation with, "I gotta go, my daughter's eating toilet paper." FML
Today, I checked my inbox and realized I got an email from a potential employer, saying they were having trouble getting a hold of me by phone. They called while my mom was using my phone to look up directions to a place, and she answered, kindly hanging up when they asked for me. FML
Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
Today, at work I got told off by my manager for texting while working. Enraged by this, I trash talked her to the new girl at work. The new girl, a.k.a. my manager's daughter. FML
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Top comments
noshitsherlock 0
WOW. Since it was so ******* important (HELLO, JOB), you should punish her by making her live off of the bare minimum for at least a month - NO CELL PHONE AT ALL, basic shitty food, no new clothes, etc.
Simbo_fml 0
wow. you have a really messed up daughter.
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Comments (246)
shanayna1462 0
woooow. guys, youre all fighting over a little FML submission. my opinion on this FML is that its very funny(: and i would prolly do something like that to get back at my mom. dont call me a bitch, its just life and how teenagers are. welcome to the new century.
hokiecritter2010 0
i would beat that little hell child to within an inch of her life.
Rixe_fml 0
Why was she grounded?
Wet_Dream 0
Should i make her worlds real? just joking..
vampire_kitten 0
lawl :]
Lychee4Life 0
This girl needs an ass whoopin. nuff said.
alterationartist 7
I am a powerful supporter that kids should allowed to be physically punished. In this case, she would have best used that phone to call Child Services for what I would do to her.
murphy22 6
wow, what is that girl learning from her friends and from her school?? i'd talk to the parents of the brats friends and find out what they think and if thier kid has done the same thing. I Also suggest sending your kid to a therapist and see if she may have bipolar disorder, i only say this because my sister did the same thing only in public at the store when she didnt get my parents to buy what she wanted and she was the same age maybe a bit older. keep trying though, grounding your kid was good, now the only thing that needs to be done is find out where the hell she is getting ideas to scream rape over small things like losing a phone. :) hang in there and blessed be
gpstyne 0
kill her then accept youre a failure
molacolacake 0
This is precisely why I don't intend on having children. You could always send her to boarding school.