Today, my wife started finding everything I do annoying, just after she passed her American citizenship test. I hope there’s no correlation between that and the eight years of support. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife announced her support for Donald Trump for president, someone who vehemently is against immigrants. She herself is an immigrant from Colombia, who became a naturalized US citizen last year. She became this way because she was undocumented and I, a US citizen, married her so she could have papers. FML
Today, my wife asked for a divorce. Apparently, me being forced to work on her birthday and our anniversary 3 years in a row is the absolute limit she’s willing to put up with. FML
Today, I realized I hate my wife with a fiery passion. I honestly don’t even care. FML
Today, my wife returned to Mexico where her grandfather is dying. I’m supportive, but while the old buzzard continues the circle the drain, she’s posting weekend photos of her and her high school friends hiking, doing shots, and hitting the pool. Happy Anniversary, Babe. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been getting rid of every single item of clothing I didn’t compliment her on. This has probably cost me thousands already. FML
Today, after 6 years of marriage, my wife called me toxic and abusive. All because I asked her if she's going to find a job, as it's getting harder for me to take care of everything, and we need more money at the moment. She's been unemployed for almost two years already. FML
Today, I finally reached the age where me just being alive annoys my wife. She asked me during a movie if I “have to breathe like that because it’s so damn annoying.” FML
Today, I found out that my wife of 5 years has decided to change everything: her job, clothes, hair style, car, and me. FML
Today, my wife is upset at me for having to remind her of her responsibilities. She dropped the ball several times in the past, and she hates that I remind her to prepare for upcoming deadlines. FML
Today, my wife told me I’m not worth the trouble. She’d rather overextend herself for complete strangers than spend any time with me. I should've seen this coming. Even before we got married, her favourite line was, “You already had children with someone else, we’ll never be a family.” I tried for nothing. FML
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Top comments
Nico97 3
sounds like you were being used
Jall8089 9
I knew an awkward and not very attractive guy who married a hot girl he met while stationed overseas. Brought her back here, bought a house, paid for her to go to college, and as soon as she got her citizenship, she divorced him. Years later, he questioned whether or not she had only been using him. 🙄
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Comments (7)
Nico97 3
sounds like you were being used
Iamthebanzai22 21
So she actually held out for 8 long years? That's like superprostitution.
OptimalPath 13
I've seen similar happenings here in the UK, only it was 6 years. They are quite careful here though, because if it transpires later that the marriage was fictitious, her citizenship would go down the pan + fraud allegations. And these investigators people do know their business on how to spot a fictitious marriage.
Jall8089 9
I knew an awkward and not very attractive guy who married a hot girl he met while stationed overseas. Brought her back here, bought a house, paid for her to go to college, and as soon as she got her citizenship, she divorced him. Years later, he questioned whether or not she had only been using him. 🙄
Justkidding100 41
to be fair I feel like this is the implicit agreement when you pick up someone way hotter than you while touring... I would literally always assume this tbh
RichardPencil 32
Once you learn how American government works, everything becomes annoying!
Thaylok 17
Sounds like there are no children. This may have been a very wise choice for your pocketbook.
D J's MOM 17
you need a REALLY good lawyer. btw, start recording everything. like I mean even set up secret cameras in your house with audio. pkay really nice and dumb for a while. like a long while and when it's time..... bam. patience is a virtue and will help you in the long run..
Iamthebanzai22 21
Honestly, I'm still trying to get my head around the fact that someone can pretend to be in love for that long. It's like selling your soul.