Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML
Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he finished before me. I thought that he was going to try and get hard again so we could continue. Unfortunately, he turned to me and said to me, "Don't worry, I'll re-spawn in a few minutes." I lost it completely. FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is." Orgasm gone. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I got so bored, I made a "to do" list for the week in my head. FML
Today, I was telling my boyfriend I had fake orgasms all the time to piss him off. He replied, "That's OK, I'm f***ing three other girls." FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
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Top comments
tippy_pink89 2
well ydi for faking, if he's not doing it right, tell him, how's he ever gonna learn n fyl for getting caught
paid2think 0
haha nice one
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Comments (261)
paid2think 0
haha nice one
pepsie_fml 0
wow. run and hide
RedJester23 6
he's probobly horrible in bed. FYL
nibawan 0
reply to first comment
iowa3jumpman23 0
why do it with him if he's that bad? kinda like a dur situation there
rctack 0
wow, not exactly hitting the spot anymore is it?
tonythatiger 0
yea cmon pay attention... keep ur head in the game ;) get it ?
iowa3jumpman23 0
omg that's so funny #17. do you have time to tell it again? hahaha Superbad reference
Slagathore 0
yay
Monumentalfail 0
that's the coolest ******* story I've ever heard in my life. can I hear it again? do you have time?
GinandJenkem 0
FHL youngin'.
austinrobey 0
haha I hate when that happens!!!
iowa3jumpman23 0
your damn right number 26
tehamericanboy94 0
YDI for being out of the kitchen . . .
supraman_fml 0
so he "finnished" all over you... then went to the bathroom for a sec... and then he went to the kitchen to get a glass of water... and THEN you faked one! wow... I'm sure if it was me, I'd just yell "good job babe" from the kitchen.
Jlevrt 0
i hate when i hear about women faking orgys
k_love2010 0
YDI for faking it bxtch, and if he sucks in bed you still deserve it for being a bxtch and not telling him how you like it.
scoobydoes 0
so much for his self esteem boost
lulzthatsucks 0
#7 fake orgies? you sir FAIL! you mean fake orgasms. the game.
F_MY_GF 0
BITCH.
penflower 0
curse you #92!!! I have lost the game!
KangNaqi 0
Now I lost the game!! Nooooooo!
allisonlols 0
LMAO, wow and lol @17 and @57! :)
amazinggbaby 2
How did you not know he was finished?
sc95060sc 0
either ur a ****** dumbass or this is fake and ur a dumbass for posting it
gfhfn 0
you bitch!
Alex373 0
more like FHL for sucking in bed
sedybaby 0
YDI for not noticing.
Crazy_mydude 0
#57, What are you, 15? 16? And your teling her YDI for being out of the kitchen? FYL for having no life and being on fml all day. Now, make youelrself presentable, get a hair cut, put a paper bag over your face, and go do something useful for once, ******.
supernice 0
153 you think it is more normal for a 15 year old to have sex then to be in a kitchen?
Crazy_mydude 0
156,I'm on my iPod so I can't see her age, is the op 15?
Jlevrt 0
after he found out you were faking...this is unfortunately gonna be your list of things to do tomorrow: 1. make him a sammich 2. make him another sammich 3. blow him- while making the sammich. 4. rub his feet (and his dick) then make him a sammich
bobby3130 0
what's the game
Jrook 0
you know what's worse then those ******* I soviet Russia 'jokes'? that ****** 'make me a sammach" piece of shit. knock it off it's not funny anymore
valmont_fml 0
But Optimus Prime died for your internet sins to save you from the game. On a side note, YDI for not communicating with your boyfriend. He has every right to be pissed at you.
tehamericanboy94 0
Lol 153...I don't spend all day on this damned thing, I'm on it when I'm in class cause math sucks really, and sorry about the hair, but your mother loves to run her fingers through it when I'm ******* her in the kitchen.. Now drive around!!!!
icall_BS 0
LOL He ****** knew you were gonna fake it and that you weren't paying attention. Which is why he pissed inside you.
talldwarf 0
dickheas
FreeRunn3r 12
wow a mom joke??? grow up kid he's right about your hair.
cutiepo0 0
if you think, speak or hear of the game, you lose the game. otherwise you are winning
Einstein714 0
what's he pissed about? he got his rocks off
hwkfan1 10
what is a sammich I forgot
fizzymonsterman 0
GENIUS^^^
LinsKitty 0
I lost the game... :c
meowkittyxo 0
yeah, that joke is dead. not funny.
Taq_fml 0
You're on FML, dumbass, what did you expect??
Humanspider 18
Great statement. Why do women fake orgasms? If you do not like it, tell him to do something different.
haha123321 0
haha
Hated_By_FML 0
ydi for having a boyfriend that sucks in bed
tippy_pink89 2
well ydi for faking, if he's not doing it right, tell him, how's he ever gonna learn n fyl for getting caught
Blue_Coconuts 7
Agreed.
ImSoBaKed 0
Agreed Agreed
xSPiDERPiGx 0
Agreed Agreed Agreed
bishoprsv2 0
Agreed Agreed Agreed Agreed
bishoprsv2 0
I agree with #36
78euge781995 0
I agree with 41
bailes_o_hay 0
I agreed with yo mama!
notsae 4
C-C-C COMBO BREAKER!!!!!
CallMeHush 1
I like pie.
mylifeblows3232 3
agree with 55
ShatteredDreams8 0
i agree with 60
Biohazard41 0
agree with 62
ihearttostitos 0
nice# 46
Melvar_10 3
i agree with #71
IMTHEGREATEST 0
you guys are all retards
cheapKicks 0
I agree with #89.
Dismissal 4
Agree with #71
Melvar_10 3
I agree with #89. That goes for her too
emilee0987 0
agreed!
Serec 0
Agreed with 149
IMTHEGREATEST 0
I'd get pissed but I guess I knew that was gonna happen
ReyEr9412 0
I agree with 119
inuyashagirl 0
idiots
aricTB 0
I agree with
innocuus 0
in total agreement with #4. what's the point in being in a relationship if you can't even talk about that. you might as well be faking it with one night stands who don't a **** about you.
a7xloveitordie 0
agreed
Peacemaker9 7
WTF is all this agreeing and disagreeing for lol I got lost reading this at about half way down the thread!!!! plz explain someone
Freeze_fml 17
I disagree, #170.
BBQFetus 0
I agree wit- YOU HAVE LOST THE GAME.
Pats14 0
i concur
WTFLMFAO 0
I agree to disagree
rallets 23
i agree to disagree and at the same time disagree to agree therefore, agreeing and disagreeing so i am neutral
assiram317 0
hahahahahaha that's awesome
WordsOfHope 0
I don't not not disagree with 196
Einthe 0
Don't agree with #68
stevenJB 25
I agree
MrForgetable 0
Hopping on the bandwagon! I agree to disagree to agree and not disagree that this is not not not stupid.
xleanne_aLly 23
#256 Keeping this going I agree to disagree with all the above and future belows.
JamesMago 12
my future agreement has little to do with #170, most to do with #4 and mildy to do with #256. my only disagreement is with #55
bballer32 0
I'm something after #3
boog_fml 7
Indeed you are
eriinbaby 0
ydi for having a shitty boy toy =p
bidoof_fml 0
No, she deserves it for not bothering to tell him what he's doing wrong.
kk2krazee 0
Haha yup
Wet_Queef 0
U GOT A BIG ASS
Wet_Queef 0
I wanna squeeze that!
trizzieb 0
I'm pretty sure that's a cross dresser. you want to squeeze a guys ass?
shay_serendipity 29
"Boy toy Troy used to live in Detroit. Big dope dealing money he was getting some coins..." -Anaconda
ayamefan13 16
Busted.
flavormyheart 0
I like your display pic. OP, really? wow...you kind of deserve it for not paying attention
butterflywings12 0
make a list? who makes a list when there doing it?
flavormyheart 0
xD that be funny to see "1. take out dog for a walk 2. make a sandwhich 3. fake org-hey where did he go?"
theian01 3
You are retarded. Why bother having a boyfriend, let alone having sex if you don't even pay attention to him durring sex? YDI no doubt. He should break up with you in an instant.
thelovedoctor101 0
I like sexy time!!! why waste such a beautiful thing?
theian01 3
She clearly doesn't though. That's why SDI
thelovedoctor101 0
agree...dumb bisnatch
sparklesbaby 0
I agree with #7 :P lol
i_told_you_so 0
He should be...
inuyashagirl 0
booomer!!!!!!!
demoon_fml 7
Hey boomer, spit in this here bile jar buddy.
playalovegame 0
ydi for having a bf that doesn't satisfy, and for not noticing ur bf finishing