poncho55
Today, a guy attacked me and tried to steal my bag. I tried to defend myself by biting him as hard as I could. I then woke up to my husband screaming in pain. FML
Top comments
KLuke2015 12
Well shit...
MDoremis 38
Oh no, your poor husband!
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Comments (94)
KLuke2015 12
Well shit...
coming back in the future 30
Welshite...
CrassKal 27
My dad once punched my mom in his sleep. But it was for a much stupider reason than a mugging...
cadillacgal79 32
My dad used to watch wrestling before bed. Well needless to say he put mom in a headlock while sleeping.
dylanger16 19
That sounds more like a FML for him.
Specialbus 5
Ouch.
cocoshake 16
at least you can protect yourself
thatADHDdude 21
Yeah I once saved the world in a dream, so I'm pretty sure if need be I could do it again in real life.
MrConcise 35
We will call upon you in times of crisis, ADHD Dude. When the world is in peril, guide us to safety.
Homer1975 14
it's ture
redheadedmonster 24
Not really that hard to protect yourself from a sleeping person
Dave_Davington 34
Tell that to her husband.
Mauskau 36
In my dreams I can't even scream, let alone defend myself :(
nesteremily 31
At least you know you can defend yourself if need be.
photographer49 22
#5 From dream muggers!
AHzulu 25
If you actually want to defend yourself, look into firearms.
musoboy 22
#28: STFU and take some advice from Jim Jeffries. http://youtu.be/fP3HJVp3n9c
mightycocoman 12
Let's play "Find the Liberal!"
Z3R0G5 23
Why would your reaction be to bite when being mugged?
Flaming_Pandas 15
You're right, OP should just allow herself to be mugged and do nothing about it.
Queensland 27
It was a dream #6.
photographer49 22
#6 Human jaw is actually very strong. A person can bite off a person's finger with the same amount of force they use to bite a carrot. So biting is a useful tool.
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
That's false, #23. A carrot is incredibly easy to bite through. If you bit a finger with the same force you would use to bite a carrot, you wouldn't even break the skin. And yeah, while it is possible to bite a finger off, it's hard to do. Can you bite a chicken wing in half? Because finger bones are stronger than they are. Plus, even if you managed to bite through the bone, there's still the skin, muscle and tendon to go through, all of which are very elastic and hard to bite through. Sorry. Just sick of hearing the "you can bite through a finger as easily as a carrot" myth.
ThongWarrior 17
Btw biting is a human skill not a tool lol
karwank 13
Actually you can do it. but you have to bite in between the joints. Not exactly an easy thing to do whilst being mugged but theoretically possible.
FiFiLovee 26
#47 actually it is true, except our brain stops of from doing so naturally because, well, ew. But I read it in my anatomy book while taking my massage therapy course.
Ashbo 8
You can definitely bite a chicken wing in half. When my boyfriend was drunk he ate boneless chicken wings. Except they weren't boneless. His friend came back to him at the bar and asked where the bones went. Lol. He ate them. So it's VERY possible.
604 11
Oh no! What part did you bite?
KLuke2015 12
Bit it straight off
besosforme 26
Well, if it was a finger she bit straight off, it can join the one I've got waiting and waiting for biohazardous waste pickup.
JayVicious 20
unless she ate it
EPKSPARTAN 15
i guess that was a BIT of a mistake
gracehi 33
Ba dum tssss.
SexyQueen0905 24
BRAVO!???
denaeb123 24
I dont think my first reaction would be to BITE someone. if you draw blood you can get all kinds of nasty things.
MDoremis 38
Oh no, your poor husband!
poncho55 40
No worries, he's okay now. :) Later on in the day, he laughed about it and thought it was pretty hilarious, which is good because I felt pretty bad about biting him.
MDoremis 38
I'm pretty sure if I had done something similar to mine he would make Hannibal jokes at me all day.
lengi123 18
Relationship goals right there
mishwarner 14
Parasomnia. Google it
jmcr 27
I did the same thing to my fiancé when i slept over at his house one night. He mostly forgot it but when he remembers he jokes about to make me blush cause i still get embarrassed by it
FitFriday 32
He secretly liked it