Today, I passed by a cute girl who was staring intensely at me. When I glanced in her direction, she smiled. Taking this as a positive sign, I approached her. Before I could say anything, she handed me a flyer explaining the benefits of STD testing. Apparently, I look like I need it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the local clinic and I met a really cute guy. We hit it off quite well, and he asked me out. It's like The Fault in Our Stars, but instead of cancer, we have STDs. FML
Today, I went to the free clinic down the street to prove to my girlfriend I don't have any STDs so that we can finally have sex. Turns out I have one. FML
Today, I passed the girl I like a note asking her out, signed Mark H. She picked it up, read it, turned around and asked me, "Do you know who Mark H. is?" FML
Today, at school, a cute girl kept glancing up at me, giggling, and looking away as soon as I looked at her. So naturally I walked up to her and asked if she wanted to go out sometime. She said she didn't like me, she was just laughing at how big a zit was on my forehead. FML
Today, while I was shopping at a store with my friend, I noticed a cute girl smiling at us. My friend said, "She's all yours," and walked away. When I approached her, she asked me if my friend was single. FML
Today, I was chatting with the cute new receptionist at the gym. I told her that I would be going there more if she was there. She looked me up and down and said that I should go regardless. FML
Today, at the Y, someone told me I had a cute ass. I liked that until I realized: a) a woman said it; b) I'm a woman; c) I'm straight; d) it's my first compliment in 2 years even though I'm 25; and e) I'm so in need of positive attention I ran after this woman to ask for a date. Me desperate much? FML
Today, I saw an unbelievably cute guy. He caught my eye and began to walk towards me. I adjusted myself and flashed him a smile. He came up to me, smiled back, and said "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" FML
Today, I got up early and really put some extra effort into my appearance to catch the eye of a cute guy at work. I walked in and the woman who sits at the desk beside me looks over and says, "Wow, are you sick? You're not looking too good." FML
Today, I was at a restaurant, and I saw my friend. When we made eye contact, I made a creepy face at her and twitched my arms to make her laugh. A woman looked over said sadly, "Oh my God, that poor girl!" She thought I was "special." FML
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Top comments
Soloman212 28
Maybe she was actually hitting on you and she's very paranoid about STDs.
jayennachristine 23
Maybe she's giving you a heads up if you go after her?
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Comments (54)
Dreamsorrow93 24
Well, it must look like you get laid?
drunkmunkey 24
don't be a fool, wrap your tool :)
bdsmslave 18
Or at least have enough acne around the mouth to look like oral herpes.
DoomedGemini 38
A lot of people have oral herpes, I was told that's what cold sores are.
dutchy86 20
just take a asprine and you will be fine...
dutchy86 20
(sarcasm ofcourse)
jackhughes 11
Don't be silly cover your willy!
gigistar15 21
Wrap it before you tap it...
jessi_sunshine 26
No glove, no love!
Soloman212 28
Maybe she was actually hitting on you and she's very paranoid about STDs.
steveo493 5
I agree, probably hoping you would tell her you don't have any std's
bacon_is_life 12
At least you can prove you're clean to her
Azpy 26
At least it looks like you get laid
jayennachristine 23
Maybe she's giving you a heads up if you go after her?
summer4me 25
Maybe she was just trying to get your attention and not necessarily thinking you had an STD.
Yazoo77 16
Silly you, get tested and show her the results.
Rented_eyebrows 18
Hay, she probably wanted to know if it's safe before she bangs!
oyeh 19
No matter what her intentions were, that was still an exceptionally rude thing to say and do.
Nilorak 24
What did she say?
steveo493 5
Haven't you heard?
Fmlsea 28
how is that rude? that was most likely that girls job to raise awareness . she is just doing her job by handing out the flyers.
cuppycakeslove 20
If anything she was being kind by trying to raise awareness :-)
swanheart 35
She probably hands the flyers out to anyone who looks old enough to be sexually active. Maybe the long look she gave you was because you look younger than you are? Look on the bright side.