Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
Let me in!
Today, I went out on the porch to smoke a cigarette and then my two year-old son locked me out. I didn't have my cellphone so while I was waiting for my husband to get home, he pooped, smeared his poop all over the floor and glass door, then tried to "mop it." It was literally a shit show. FML
Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML
Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML
Ninja!
Today, after getting home from my morning run, I found my brand new leather couch with scratches all over it and smelling of cat piss. I don't have a cat. FML
Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
Today, while teaching at a daycare, a child came up to me and asked if he could go to the bathroom. Obviously, I said it was fine. He then pulled his pants down, and pee on my brand new shoes, and all over my leg. FML
Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML
Hellooooo, Social Services?
Today, I spent two hours convincing my 3-year-old son that he can't poop on his 4-month-old brother out of retaliation for the baby pooping on him. He did it anyway. FML
Top comments
Amburito 0
Woop his ass! That kind of behavior is unacceptable :l
whitesox365 0
You rack disciprine!
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Comments (169)
whitesox365 0
You rack disciprine!
DarkHelmet 10
Ahahahahahahahha #1 just made my day!!!!
Kyzahhh 7
Cusses, ***** on couches, I see a bright future ahead
enonymous 9
Did he at least wipe afterwards? No one likes a kid with mud butt.
indielove 13
"Spare the rod, spoil the child."
Alwayspullout 7
What a little shit...
belkinbra 12
Obviously you are not the one who wears the pants in your relationship if your 4 year old son intimidates you. YDI learn to discipline
cameron194 9
lmao, nothin like defecating on someones property to say " I own you bitch" haha
GoingCommando93 14
Ydi for teaching your child cuss words
cindiarystrue 0
good luck with him as a teenager
mr_torch91 1
Your an idiot. Parenting fail!
Jaxx66 21
Jesus. Is he a dog or a kid??? Rub his nose In it.
XxD3MONxX 3
dude if that would have been me i would have been picking my sorry ass up off the floor after my parents beat my ass bloody.
WarmPigBelly 4
Should have made him clean it up... With his hand... O.o
walterism 0
"**** you! I'm ******** on the couch!"
DoubleDose 0
Jesus, screw the spanking, it's time for some good ole fashioned rubbing his ******* nose into the shit, that will teach him
Jezlovespink 5
at least its leather and not cotton or that one other material were its super hard to remove stains be thankful you got leather couches, my car doesn't have leather seats and my daughter always throws her bottle to the side (on the seats) when she's done with it, so now I have rotten milk stains in my back seats. you have an easier mess to clean with leather rather than the other fabric kind!!!
gpoquiqui 5
What has our generation come to? -_-
copy125 0
He's not apart of our generation. Don't worry
StoryOfTheYear 15
4- a part*
SteveTheJanitor 6
OP should introduce her son to every child's best friend: the wooden spoon.
RavagedSouI 0
He might not be a part of our generation but part of the future. So.. We are screwed.
False_Stupidity 42
52- so he can stir the shit?
ScaughtieHolden 11
Wtf 2, you're 4 years old? This site is inappropriate for you.
ikickgingers 15
52 - wooden spoon? My mom was a fan of "pick your switch"
rnbz 0
Parents not whipping there children!!!
audreyy062 2
65- u mean 14? well, ur 16...not much of a difference there...
Kylias 6
It wipes the poopie off the couch...
ising20 1
@ 93... i'm pretty sure he was referring to the fact that the original commenter said the 4 year old was part of his generation.. but he's NOT. So, it was a JOKE
Big_Red_138 3
52- Ugh I hated the wooden spoon...and the wooden hanger.....and the big stick....and the leather belt....so many horrible memories O.o
X_Codes 11
I don't think it was a joke, I think he was talking about the parent being part of his generation, in which case the world really is a sad, sad place.
ising20 1
@144- well the parent isn't part of his generation either...!
Vegeto30294 19
#65, age and generation are 2 VERY different things. All kids are 1 generation, parents are another generation, grandparents are another, and your kids' kids are another generation.
IceCreamMage 17
52 - Ffffffffuuuuuuuu- The wooden spoon and cane and belt. They were friggin owwy. Oh and chilli powder on my tongue for swearing. Dear Gawd.
_highandlow 5
#157 thank god someone is smart around here.
Amburito 0
Woop his ass! That kind of behavior is unacceptable :l
Briannaford 0
Agreed.
DCFan 9
The parent is on the right track. Obviously writing FML's about that behavior is much more effective.........
TheCylonmaster 3
You might want to clean it first
leh9 2
Completely agreed spank the kid I would
reddawn85 8
That's the result "new-age" parenting. My father didn't view me as an equal until... Well, I still don't think he does but as adults, we have mutual respect. I still don't swear in front of him and he still points out things I could be doing better, buy he's extremely proud of me and I have nothing but a profound level of respect for the man. All because he wasn't scared to give me what I had coming when I needed it.
cradle6 13
Different ages require different parenting styles. For the western world, the "ideal" is usually considered to be Authoritarian when the child is young, Authoritative when the child is a teenager, and "hands-off" when the child is an adult. Being authoritative or passive with a four-year-old is a very bad idea because they're still in the preconventional stage of moral development. Which is a hedonistic time, by definition. Their actions are based solely on what feels good, and thats why it's so important that OP ensures that consequences ensue. It's the only way they'll understand.
HushHushKeeKat 0
Cool story bro.
nollid7 5
If I'd done that, my parents would've beat my ass raw, Op you need to do it quick, I mean hell you are the adult. Quit being a pansy. You are in Texas better do it before someone else does it for you!
baseballplaya5 7
What an evil genius lol but seriously straighten his ass up soon
komania 6
...And this is why you should be watching and parenting your kids. He's only 4 years old, don't leave him alone or else he's gonna do stupid things!
kewlkate 9
This is probably the same kid that wasn't allowed to have ice cream for breakfast so he smeared crap on the walls when his grandparents were coming over.
hemz_fml 13
Get shitted on? Beat him over the head or take what he likes away to straighten him out
JennyBear101 0
2 words: BAD PARENTING
kronick_fml 0
Should of rolled up a news paper and smacked him in the nose and said NO!
blovasz 0
LMFAO
SteveTonyY 3
And rubbed his face in it
theredheadthree 9
Where did he learn those words in the first place? YDI.
baconstrips 12
How would your 4 year old know swear words unless you were saying them all the time I say you deserve it.
whitesox365 0
Bad neighborhood maybe
BeatlesObsessed 12
And you raised the kid.
rogerusmc23 0
Your hot^^
Jimster1712 0
A childs behaviour can change drastically from a child to a teen.
bsc23 8
Our generation has come to parents that allow their kids to do stuff like this!!! Beat his ass!!
texas_redneck88 10
Agreed. What the hell ever happened to kids actin' up, they get their ass whooped right there on the spot? Today's society is nothin' but a bunch of soft hearted people, and it irritates me. I go into restaurants to enjoy a nice meal, and someone's 3 yr old is yellin' and screamin' and makin' a mess raisin' all kind of hell and the parents don't do a damn thing. If I did that when I was 3, best believe I was goin' to the bathroom and gettin' an ass whoopin'
xosportsgirl14x 8
Did your society also not teach you how to use the letter 'g' or you'd get your butt whooped? Because you seem go have a problem with it...
WitchyArmyWife00 0
Sadly our society has come to if you spank your kid you or even raise your voice someone calls the cops
WallyTheWombat 0
It doesn't matter if they call the cops, the law actually says you are allowed to physically discipline your child. As long as you don't abuse the kid and the spanking was appropriate, the police can't do anything.
etphonehome10 0
hahaha!
nitram06 2
Your little boy cussed you out So you got mad at him, made him pout Went upstairs to gather your wit He's downstairs pinchin' off a shit Sounds pretty bad, but what can you do Little dude just had to get rid of his poo