Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
Today, I went out on the porch to smoke a cigarette and then my two year-old son locked me out. I didn't have my cellphone so while I was waiting for my husband to get home, he pooped, smeared his poop all over the floor and glass door, then tried to "mop it." It was literally a shit show. FML
Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML
Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML
Today, after getting home from my morning run, I found my brand new leather couch with scratches all over it and smelling of cat piss. I don't have a cat. FML
Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
Today, while teaching at a daycare, a child came up to me and asked if he could go to the bathroom. Obviously, I said it was fine. He then pulled his pants down, and pee on my brand new shoes, and all over my leg. FML
Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML
Today, I spent two hours convincing my 3-year-old son that he can't poop on his 4-month-old brother out of retaliation for the baby pooping on him. He did it anyway. FML
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Top comments
Amburito 0
Woop his ass! That kind of behavior is unacceptable :l
whitesox365 0
You rack disciprine!
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Comments (169)
pinkspaceboundro 0
For some reason, the thought of pushing his face in it and spanking him came to mind.
clue_me_in 20
Wow. He's not even in his double digits and he's cussing you out. FYL.
ktally23 0
Maybe that calls for some better parenting skills.
perdix 31
What kind of parent are you? Getting mad at him for expressing himself creatively through the artistic medium of profanity? You deserve to have your couch shat upon. Instead of blowing all that money on a new leather couch, you should spend it on parenting classes and buy a cheap, wooden bench from Goodwill.
IPoopedOnU 12
He POOPED on the goddamn couch! What is wrong with you?! And cussing her out is not creative!
castrosabeast 7
Oh come on he's four! You should expect things like that and not buy extremely expensive furniture!
juturnaamo 29
Yeah, he's 4. Most 4 year olds I know want nothing but hugs and cookies, and don't want to do much that interferes with these things. To already be disrespecting his mother like that is a looking glass into a future world of hell.
Virginia6810 16
Um... No. My 3 and 5 year old apologize if they spill a little bit of drink let alone poop on the couch! My 5 year old knows some swear words (from super hero movies) but knows they're bad and won't dare say them. That behavior is NOT to be expected. Please don't have kids or you'll be saying "it's ok, this behavior is expected" when they act up.
fatalwish 6
And its clearly not your fualt at all right? Be the parent discapline your child and timeouts dont work take further measures lazy ass parents are the leading cause of spoiled youth who inherit the same values from their lazy ass parents who didnt give them what they needed.
texas_redneck88 10
Agreed
doogy15 11
That's shitty bro. No pun intended =]
SteveTheJanitor 6
I'm sure there was no pun intended. not.
janicus 9
at least leather is easy to clean?
Jujubilee 1
Spare the rod, spoil the child.
perdix 31
Just drop the kid off at the nearest maximum-security prison and spare society the expense and anguish of dealing with the many heinous crimes the little psychopath will no doubt be committing.