Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
Today, I went out on the porch to smoke a cigarette and then my two year-old son locked me out. I didn't have my cellphone so while I was waiting for my husband to get home, he pooped, smeared his poop all over the floor and glass door, then tried to "mop it." It was literally a shit show. FML
Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML
Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML
Today, after getting home from my morning run, I found my brand new leather couch with scratches all over it and smelling of cat piss. I don't have a cat. FML
Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
Today, while teaching at a daycare, a child came up to me and asked if he could go to the bathroom. Obviously, I said it was fine. He then pulled his pants down, and pee on my brand new shoes, and all over my leg. FML
Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML
Today, I spent two hours convincing my 3-year-old son that he can't poop on his 4-month-old brother out of retaliation for the baby pooping on him. He did it anyway. FML
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Top comments
Amburito 0
Woop his ass! That kind of behavior is unacceptable :l
whitesox365 0
You rack disciprine!
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Comments (169)
amanda_smith54 4
Maybe you should parent him better?
dwsgirl 8
OP, sucky day, but if all you do is complain about it on fml, YDI. Discipline that child while there's still hope!
stevenmx86 8
Wow, what a terrible parent you must be,op..
skyeyez9 25
Kids behave that way because they know they can get away with it. They need to have a healthy fear of not wanting to piss off their parents, cause they'll get an ass beating.
newlove_fml 0
If you can't teach your four year old son not to cuss, you deserved it. Seriously. He shouldn't be using that kind of language at that age.
justmepippy 1
at least it isn't suede
tigermik 18
What colour leather was it cause if it was brown it will not be as noticeable but if it was white than I feel extremely sorry for you
zombster3 0
Hahaha
Lylej2k 2
Get control of you kid for crying out loud.
NickiJane 0
You should probably teach your son better. You seem like a horrible parent. I'm sorry for that poor kid.