Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML
Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football superstar knocked me unconscious in one hit. With a dodgeball. FML
Today, I was at soccer practice. The ground's keeper just aerated the field, and my teammates and I decided to throw the cylindrical clumps of dirt at each other. I got hit in the face with one. It wasn't dirt. It was a clump of wet dog poop. FML
Today, I took a huge shit halfway through my gym workout, one of them half-wet, messy, stuck in your butt hairs. Three rolls and an anus with the feeling of carpet burn later, I proceeded to the bench feeling strong. At the twelfth rep, I sharted, right in my brand new gray pants. FML
Today, in my lifeguarding course, I had to pull a 200-pound boy out of the pool in an exercise to practice using our legs when lifting. I, being only 90 pounds, tried pulling and ended up falling into the pool, landing with my lady parts on his face. FML
Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML
Today, I was doing squats at the gym. I caught my reflection in the mirror, got distracted by how awkward I looked, and lost my balance. I fell backward onto a medicine ball, rolled into another person’s legs, and took them down with me. We ended up in a sweaty heap. FML
Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML
Today, I was exercising my legs by laying on my stomach and lifting a dumbbell between my feet. I sneezed mid-lift and dropped the dumbbell right on my taint. I haven’t looked but I’m pretty sure both my asshole and cooch are bruised. I’m walking like John Wayne. FML
Today, I was playing football for my school. I had the ball and was running down the sideline. The guy behind pulled my flag off along with my shorts and boxers. I dove to try to escape and I happened to land on the hottest girl in the class who was on the sideline. I had no pants on. FML
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Top comments
deviable 9
Don't worry, at least you're not called Skidmarks.
minder97 10
hopefully some of your shit got on the guy
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Comments (273)
urmomsfml 0
That sux
SunnyUserName123 5
That's disgusting, **** your teams lives.
abbyelizabeth 9
It obviously wasn't intentional. There's something's your body can't control. I think it's more **** OP's life.
SCREAM4meeee 0
At least you didn't have to shove it through the drain with your big toe. Good man taking the Browns to the Super Bowl :)
LiveLaughFML 10
if you're going to complain about the nickname Muddbutt, then i'm going to call you Asswipe :D
ariannaimelda 7
No I'd say **** OP's life, the dude who fell on him could have broke a rib >
Laurenlou 24
Terrible things can happen in any sport. Not just in football. Gosh just give up. No one cares that you don't like the sport.
FFPulley 9
Hey, Shit happens...
Keyman1212 14
Hey, lucky for OP, he's still in middle school, or at very mediocre high school at best.
illmatic2 16
I don't know too many 200 pound middle schoolers, so I'm guessing high school.
Keyman1212 14
85- when I was in middle school we had a 285lbs lineman on our team. I do however come from a very competitive and pedigree'd school district in Texas. No linemen on our high school team were as small as 200lbs.
HideouslyHuman 10
"No one asked for you opinion,You filthy little Mudbutt!"-Sincerely,Draco Malfoy.
Sienna420 4
It's also probably muscle hence the sport is football....
himynameiskrista 0
Made my life. xD
SirObvious 1
If the lineman is 200lbs then maybe you should get in the weight room and learn to work!
HideouslyHuman 10
Did I make your life?I don't recall ever meeting your mother..Just kidding.
boofgall 16
103- it's mudblood.
tona01 16
161, can't tell if you're trolling or just really stupid
Jdeluxh 12
161- it's joke
MeganCello 8
Mudblood....regardless if it's a joke, it's not funny.
benniful 0
I thought it was hilarious, biootch.
TwitchingNebula 17
83 & 102, it never ceases to amaze me about how stupid your comments are.
schmock_fml 0
the same thing happened to a teammate last year. he was known as shartley and shitler
newzealand 28
Wow the shower poo's really being 'milked' for all its worth
newzealand 28
^ I didn't want this comment to go here FML you silly sausage
HideouslyHuman 10
I've taken note it's mudblood but changed it for slight comedic value pertaining to this FML story.
dre_bro11 12
130, you're kidding about not having net his mother, right?
HideouslyHuman 10
I said I don't recall,so its very well possible.*Shh I'm not ready to be a father!*
Felix_Felicis15 8
103, I love you.
Felix_Felicis15 8
103, I love you.
HideouslyHuman 10
Thanks,you can be my lover I suppose,Your as good as any afterall.
thatfrenchguy 8
102- soft! At my primary school our linebackers were all at least 10 ft tall, weighed over 500 pounds, could run 40 yards in 2.1 seconds and could bench 600 pounds. But then again I went to a very prestigious primary school in Zimbabwe.
R34luver 5
"Hey mudbutt how ya doin?" "oh you know, same shit different day" *sigh* i tried
ImFrackinBored 13
78- Apparently shit happens too fast...
evhrocks876 4
102- in 7th and 8th grade I couldn't even play because I weighed 165 lbs and that's "too much" :/ lucky you
deviable 9
Don't worry, at least you're not called Skidmarks.
CryMoreFMLs 15
I wish my nickname was Muddbutt. Fluffy is a shitty nickname...
THE_A_TEEN 28
#12 Say that to gabriel inglesias, I bet he would like a word with you...
CryMoreFMLs 15
I love that guy! I wanted to be Husky... Or even DAMN! But noo.. I got fluffy.
ducttapewallet 7
I would have called him sh*tcrack, but whatever.
KennKenn 0
This FML reminds me of the scene of Longest Yard where one of the cons makes one of the cops shit himself.
cameron194 9
haha 122 just made my day lol
dancer050 0
Taking the browns to the superbowl!
max_wilder 9
200 lbs isn't that big for a high school linemen
that_nerdy_sock 3
Honestly, football isn't really my sport, but I'll watch it. That doesn't mean I'll go tackle some guy in tights just for a ball that isn't round. But, ya know...that's just my opinion.
plantfood 4
Irrelevant
that_nerdy_sock 3
All I'm saying is that it doesn't seem like a very intelligent sport. But that's an OPINION. I don't think 200 pound guys jumping on each other is so smart. Again. It's an opinion!
elk21dbm 18
Whether you call it a smart sport or not doesn't relate to the fml of op ******** himself while playing
baconstrips 12
Your opinion had nothing to do with the FML therefore it was not needed...
that_nerdy_sock 3
a sport that causes you to shit your self...ya know what? Whatever. Thumbs it down. Cause your cool Like that.
Laurenlou 24
The sport didn't cause him to shit himself. A 200lb guy landing on him did.
that_nerdy_sock 3
But the lineman wouldn't fall on him if he weren't playing football.
baconstrips 12
You really need to know when to stop talking.
Laurenlou 24
Terrible things can happen in any sport. Not just in football. Gosh just give up. No one cares that you don't like the sport.
Jesus_Christ69 0
**** you. Football is a great sport that is very complex and is based all around teamwork.
t765234 10
15-I play football and I have a 4.0 GPA so I would have to disagree.
HideouslyHuman 10
I recall reading it,but it's gone!I don't think it was inappropriate...Was it? Never question an FML moderator,It was!
oct0pus 0
What even.
alstbv12 13
No. It's ODD but it happens.
minder97 10
hopefully some of your shit got on the guy
hailphire130 0
200 pounds isn't even that much in football though. OP must be skinny. Or he just had to shit really bad during practice that day. I hate when that happens.
xcowboys 0
If he were 90 pounds he wouldnt be a lineman. Im one of the smaller lineman on my team and im 205 lbs
BooGhosted 0
I know a QB that hits them when they run at him ha. Not many but this guy is awesome:D
ArchxAngel 9
55- Last year I was first string QB, & I'm A Skinny Kid. I was fairly around 125, so getting ran over by a 200 lb lineman didn't really do damage. Not that I got hit, that is.
K_kanaka 26
Okay this is all I can say WHAT THE ****?!!!!
NitroTonicsFML 4
Are you confused?
MegaTroller_fml 5
Sexually?
Hot_Chick21 0
53- WIN!!!
K_kanaka 26
51 I'm actually dumbfounded because it's the first time I've heard of someone ******** themselves because a much bigger person squashed them. 53 no I'm not confused sexually
wilsontws 18
Make a mudpie with it, and throw it at their faces.
That0therguy 4
No.
coltsrock37 15
Wrong. Fail.
torio123 27
How come 6 and 9 have pretty much the same comment but one is thumbed down and the other one up? I don't get it...
bizarre_ftw 22
Because the idea in 9's is Far worse than the idea in 6's Plus in 6's it would be the other guy's fault & in 9's it would be an utterly disgusting malicious act by op
BruisedGiraffe 15
That's ******* gross man
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
That's a shitty situation OP...
kawaiianime 5
Am I the only one who sees OP holding his butt and running out of the stadium? ;D
Laurenlou 24
No one cares what you think of football. That's no where near the point of the FML.