Today, I was on my way home on an airplane. The guy I had to sit next to was reading a book with naked girls in it. About 15 minutes into the flight, he had an erection and started to giggle. It was a 2 hour flight. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as a flight attendant, I had to deal with a passenger staring at a stewardess constantly and masturbating. His wife was sitting next to him and didn't mind. FML
Today, as I got to my first class seat on an airplane, I saw the person I'd be sitting next to wafting the smell of her vagina towards herself and breathing in deeply. It's an eight hour flight. FML
Today, while on a six hour flight, someone offered to pay me $20 to swap seats with them. It seemed like a great deal, so I immediately accepted and moved to my new seat. I didn't realize my new neighbor was an old man with a raging boner. FML
Today, I was on a flight from Chicago to Minneapolis. A rather attractive young lady sitting next to me fell asleep at the beginning of the flight. About 40 minutes into the flight I noticed my fly was open. The lady woke to me with my hands in my crotch struggling to zip up my fly. FML
Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML
Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML
Today, I was at the airport walking around, killing time. There was a man about twenty years older than me who kept on eyeballing me, and it really wasn't flattering. I get on the plane and guess who I get to sit next to. FML
Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML
Today, I was on a flight and one of my friends was sitting next to this woman who happened to be sleeping with her mouth wide open. My friend decided to take a picture. While I was editing it, a man sitting behind us said "If you want to take a picture of my girlfriend, wait until she's awake". FML
Today, while using the bathroom on an airplane, someone walked in on me wiping my butt. That person just so happened to be the stranger I was sitting next to. It was an 8 hour flight. FML
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Top comments
hairt 4
when you land remember to...... hide yo kids, hide yo wife, and hide your husband coz they're rapin' errbody out there!
tpea 1
Did you enjoy the book? ;)
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Comments (144)
tpea 1
Did you enjoy the book? ;)
eshhayz 0
did you sit on him ?
allenrotstein 0
What is wrong with getting an erection? Better than a flacid limp dick. i'm proud of my erections!
iSitt 0
did you smell something funny ?
530boy 0
Today, I saw a naked chick looking at a book with erections in it. Then she got an erection,FML.
Schizomaniac 24
34 FAILURE.
chuchurocket 4
is it just me or is both 10 and 34 hot?
ShadyFTW1 0
it's just u
MissErikaHart 0
mind ur own business op. at least he wasn't interested in talking to u for 2 hrs. airplane small talk is the worst
LinkinParkPlaya 0
haha! that plane trip was so epic!
KingDingALing 9
If you're a girl, OP, then maybe you should give him a hand with his "erection" ;). If you're a guy, jack off right next to him until he moves. Problem solved! :D
iiAteCookies 0
You are my new best friend. OP would have to beat the meat under a blanket or something.
hannah1203 2
lol agreed 57
ygdrassil 17
Better he jacks off than reading the Koran. That would have scared the hell out of me.
1221jamw 11
69- How come you're always 69 while talking about sex
acccccccc 1
Mustve been HARD to be on the flight! ha get it?
andrewzzz 0
its just frowned upon, like masterbating on an airplane
benderbang48 4
i know i would have lol
BadPinkKitty07 0
thumbs up for the hangover reference! :D
H8rSk8r 0
I guess you could say that bearing that trip (*puts on sunglasses*) was hard. Yeaaaaaahhhh!!!!!
skanksonaplane 0
snakes on a plane!
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
32/82: FFS, why would someone reading a Koran on an airplane be scary? Let's analyze this for a moment: A) Very few Muslims are terrorists. B) Reading the Koran is not necessarily evidence that someone is Muslim, anyway; people of many religions (including atheists) read it. And the biggest, C) Would a terrorist really bring along and openly read a Koran on an airplane?! With security and traveller paranoia being the way it is now, I can't really see that happening. Honestly, you may as well say seeing a white guy reading a Bible or driving a van is scary. Ever heard of Timothy McVeigh? -.-
andrewzzz 0
awesome cat fellow hangover fan =D
TheKevinDasilva 0
134 Jane - Agreed, but one thing, I can't find a GOOD reason that an athiest would read the Qua'ran... Only for studies and/or other things. Also, why would any other religion read the holy book of some other religion?
zendaddy0 0
10 I know I love buildin stuff too erectin a dispenser
babygurly898 0
ewww really enjoyin a book 1??
wolfshadow 4
Ever stop to think it was a Porno?
2crazy2care 0
Did you switch seats? That would have freaked me out!
NightSkyx 0
it's every guys dream to Jack off in midair!
rlerke 0
I don't think a guy could get an erection while sitting next to you anyway.
Tweety122888 0
there's a spanish singer that actually did that.
rottentomatoes 7
yer a dude right? ya? just checking. no but serious, what a perv.....
sapphirestar 0
if op is a guy, both of you can actually read together? lol
hnz 13
read with him or just ignore him! it's normal for guys maybe..
yessiee23 0
maybe it is normal but it's still gross
TheLynx_fml 20
No it is most certainly not normal for guys to do this ?
amerwin 3
haha that sucks.. at least he wasn't reading the Kama Sutra and contorting himself into various positions with wood.
jeZuss 0
I would of just watched **** on my phone...
DocBastard 40
*would have
Cinn_fml 23
I doubt jeZuss would really, because he'd have had to go to the effort of downloading it as internet devices aren't allowed to be used on planes. He doesn't strike me as the type to put so much thought into something. Ah well, OP, at least it's over now.
Schizomaniac 24
Hahaha. Cinn's comment made me laugh, loudly.
ZoroFresh 0
it's 2010 cinn Internet, Internet everywhere.
Cinn_fml 23
Maybe it's just the two planes I was on recently that said 'no internet usage during flight', but I thought that was a fairly common thing.
salic77 11
your clearly unintelligible of some airlines policies. Know your facts before grouping everything into one ignorant comment.
Cinn_fml 23
*you're. And was that aimed at me or Zoro?
M16a2 0
Cinn, it's called "downloading before you get onto the plane".
Cinn_fml 23
*facepalm* that was entirely the point in my first post.
yummycupcakegirl 0
thats what JeZuss would do?
Alkix 2
I see what you did there...
tortise34 4
or he could have already save it on his phone so he can watch without Internet
Cinn_fml 23
Do some people even read the comments they reply to?
tngodzilla 0
What everyone should have replied is why do we care? it's obvious it wasn't a super well thought out plan, but I don't think it was meant to be. It's no big deal, jeez.
Cinn_fml 23
That is true, but I was referring to people who seem to be trying to correct someone by repeating what they said and therefore just making themselves look silly.
sculp91 0
hmmm pedophiles
allenrotstein 0
Says the ****** hugging Justin Bieber...
amerwin 3
haha owned
allenrotstein 0
says the dude hugging justin bieber...
amerwin 3
moderated for saying ******? That's queer.
imright24 0
Seriously, what does this have to do with pedophilia other than being read by some bieber loving dude that can't think of anything but molesting kids?
momony_fml 0
have ya seem it picture ? that's pedophilia !!!
WiseGuy79 14
So just let the dude enjoy his book n stop checking out his erection you perv haha
yuggi1 11
agree! xD
nycy 0
someone woke up on the wrong aide ofthe tampon
nycy 0
darn i meant side of the