Today, I spent two hours convincing my 3-year-old son that he can't poop on his 4-month-old brother out of retaliation for the baby pooping on him. He did it anyway. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML
Today, my 3-year-old son put into practice the lesson I taught him yesterday, about how to use a larger piece of Play-Doh to pick up smaller bits. Unfortunately, he used this method to pick up a small bit of poo from his pants with a larger bit of poo direct from the toilet. I was an hour late for work. FML
Today, a funny smelling liquid was sprayed all over the computer. Last week, I told my fully pottytrained but extremely reluctant toddler that he couldn't play Barney games until he used the big boy toilet. A 4 year old's revenge really sucks. FML
Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML
Today, my 3-year-old pooped on the floor and blamed it on the dog. How do I know? We don't have a dog. FML
Today, I finally convinced my son to use the potty. Later, he saw a show on TV about a toilet monster. Now he's too scared to even step foot into the bathroom. Here's to another few months of diaper changes. FML
Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
Today, I found out my husband potty trained my stubborn three year-old son who prefers diapers. He managed this by peeing with him and "sword-fighting" with their urine streams. I now have to clean pee off the ground every time he urinates. FML
Today, my two year-old is being potty trained. He got the gist of it and actually did #1 and #2 in the potty and after our little celebratory dance, I went to get him a cookie (which took me two seconds). I come back to see him covered in shit and pee because he tried to go empty the potty himself. FML
Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML
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Top comments
xaru 21
Shit on them both to show dominance
coolmike699 26
You gotta get this under control before this game of battleshits escalates into a poopstorm of epic magniturd.
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Comments (21)
coolmike699 26
You gotta get this under control before this game of battleshits escalates into a poopstorm of epic magniturd.
RichardPencil 32
Sounds like you've got quite a situation on your hands. If only I could come up with a clever adjective to describe your situation!
xaru 21
Shit on them both to show dominance
Tripartita 45
How does the expression go? "A poop for a poop makes the world brown."
maharb01 17
that's like something out of an episode of shameless, haha awesome
pjsr 33
You don't argue with a 3 year old for two hours. You say, 'No, you cannot poop on the baby. If you do, this is what will happen to you...' Conversation over.
kirkaygri 18
And then the 3 year old does it anyways because they're 3 and telling them no and explaining consequences just does not work when they have their mind set on something. While I agree you shouldn't argue with a child, let's face it, this was inevitable. I work with kids this age, some just do not care about consequences.
Talis99 26
Yeah, modern parenting is all about talking to children who have no concept of adult understanding as if they had the concept of adult understanding. They're your kids. They do what you say or they get punished. There is no discussion or explaining to people who haven't developed the capacity for either. Try that when they're older.
Demon_of_Light 27
Ironically enough, kids will develop an understanding of such matters more quickly when you actually explain things to them.
Lobby_Bee 18
Whichever side wins, you lose.
itssnotfunny 24
Probably because he doesn't know what retaliation means, he's only 3. *joke*
StarkWolf_fml 23
so it begins. ..
Cali 57
Flash forward 80 years and see one of them hobbling away from the other's doorstep after igniting a paper bag full of dog shit and ringing the doorbell.
interesting33 37
I am curious, is your 3 year old the Sonic of pooing and shot it out very fast before you could react, or was he alone with the baby?