Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
Let me in!
Today, I went out on the porch to smoke a cigarette and then my two year-old son locked me out. I didn't have my cellphone so while I was waiting for my husband to get home, he pooped, smeared his poop all over the floor and glass door, then tried to "mop it." It was literally a shit show. FML
Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML
Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML
Ninja!
Today, after getting home from my morning run, I found my brand new leather couch with scratches all over it and smelling of cat piss. I don't have a cat. FML
Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
Today, while teaching at a daycare, a child came up to me and asked if he could go to the bathroom. Obviously, I said it was fine. He then pulled his pants down, and pee on my brand new shoes, and all over my leg. FML
Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML
Hellooooo, Social Services?
Today, I spent two hours convincing my 3-year-old son that he can't poop on his 4-month-old brother out of retaliation for the baby pooping on him. He did it anyway. FML
Top comments
Amburito 0
Woop his ass! That kind of behavior is unacceptable :l
whitesox365 0
You rack disciprine!
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Comments (169)
giantsap 5
Is your kids name Stewie Griffin?
pleasuretown 7
Lol what a great parent, how do you have an upstairs in your double wide you white trash.
texas_redneck88 10
Just because someone's kid cussed them out, doesn't automatically mean they live in a doublewide, or makes them white trash. The OP's kid could be one of those little bratty snotty heathens, and has no respect for the parents
WitchyArmyWife00 0
You obviously haven't seen pimp my double wide.
krez 20
I take offense at your use of the word "heathen". I know plenty of heathen children who do NOT curse out their parents or shit on couches.
DangerDude 11
YDI. Your 4 year old cussed you out and you walked away, you walked away. Was it a Jerry Springer commercial break when you went "upstairs" to put the house in park?
texas_redneck88 10
What are you tryin' to do here, make some kind of whitty redneck/hillbilly white trash joke? Fail
DangerDude 11
Sorry if I offended your trailer park.
texas_redneck88 10
When did I say anythin' about me personally livin' in a trailer park?
Chazyj 4
Your son sounds a bit of a legend really :-D but on the other hand I would lock him in his room for being rude lol
juturnaamo 29
Kid definitely needs a whooping
lionlvr 9
Huh, I sure wouldn't give my kid a 'whooping' It just brings their respect for their parent down just a little bit more. But whatever.
divine69 0
The ones who criticize our generation forget who raised them
Cuteandlazy 0
I think it's well past time that you whoop his ass.
wriptidez 0
talk calmly to him and ask why he did that
Phallic_Metaphor 3
I enjoyed how most of the "advice" here has come from people who clearly do not have children and do not understand children. "Beat his ass" is never an acceptable response it teaches violence is a solution, and that it is okay to inflict pain to get what you want. There really is not enough information listed here to draw any conclusions about the effectiveness of the parent or how adjusted the child is, granted an act of malice of this magnitude directed at a parent is not a good sign, one can be a great parent and still have a child with emotional issues that engages in this sort of behavior. My advice would be to seek out a behavioral consultant immediately.
fatalwish 6
The child also grows up with respect toward that parent too violence isnt acceptable? R u ******* kidding me? Had i done something so ******* retarted i wouldnt have lived to see 6 or 7 or 8 the parent is clearly to blame here lazy **** takes no time to teach the child anything and rather than silve a solution they let the child be the ******* alpha in the situation he is clearly stateing his dominance over the parent and that needs rectification swiftly because that parent will never have his respect bullshit to you sir/madam op ydi terrible parenting and u are retarted
Lizzy500 16
I think you're the lone voice of reason here. Yeah, this is well beyond the boundaries of normal behavior, but maybe this child is autistic or has some other cognitive disorder. We don't know. But it's definitely a sign to seek professional help, if mom hasn't already. I also understand mom's frustration at trying to get ready and off to work on time, which could cause her to lose her cool. At least the couch was leather and not fabric, definitely easier to clean.
WallyTheWombat 0
If the kid had some sort of mental/emotional problem, then the OP shouldn't be bitching about it on FML. Maybe the people in here saying to beat his ass don't have children but they were children once and they know what worked for them. When I got sent to my room, I'd just go to sleep, if I got something taken away from me, I'd find something else to occupy my time. If I got the belt to my ass, I never did it again. At first they don't do it in fear of the pain, but as they grow up, they understand that it's just their parents disciplining them. They grow up learning, if I do something bad, I'm gonna be punished instead of learning that if they are bad, they will get a slap on the wrist that they can just shrug off. Children need to be disciplined, but they should also be talked to about it so they understand WHY they are being disciplined.
Phallic_Metaphor 3
Reinforcement always works better then punishment, punish as a last resort and never punish when angry. Also proofread your responses, to avoid looking uneducated.
Phallic_Metaphor 3
Your response looks like the stereotypical adolescent male's room.
DawnMarie11 0
I have children and I would spank my children for doing this, that child needs to learn respect and be disciplined. Period.
ccassell 0
Wow u Lazy stupid idiot. That is 4 year old child for gods sake. 1.) if i ever heard my child cuss even at 10 yrs old i would wear his behind out. 2.) crapping on the furniture? I swear my child would be afraid to ever even think about doing something bad again. People these days dont understand, u are the PARENT not the FRIEND. You need to take respinsibility and bring this child up right. My god...
Miano 0
Children only repeat what they have learned, they are jot born with a Nasty vocabulary so shame on you for not correcting him when he first started repeating what he was hearing and shame on you for not watching your mouth around him.