Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML
Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML
Today, I was drunk and sent my friend a picture of my penis. He edited the picture and put hands and sunglasses on it before sending it to practically everyone I know. FML
Today, my sister caught me bent over trying to trim my pubic hairs. She took a photo of my spread ass as a joke and scared me so bad, I cut my clitoris. Currently in hospital hopped up on the really good morphine for the excruciating pain. Oh, and the stitches, God, I can't forget the stitches. FML
Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML
Today, after surgery on my penis, I’m on drugs to prevent erections. My girlfriend now thinks it’s hilarious to walk around naked, bend over in front of me, and do other sexy stuff, because she knows I can’t do anything to her and it’s killing me. In three weeks, her ass is mine. FML
Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML
Today, I'm on vacation with my best friends. We went to a club and I drunk texted my girlfriend of one year about how nice everything is and how much I miss her. She responded by breaking up with me because she likes me more as a friend. FML
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Top comments
AssMole 0
nicee. but who the balls gets circumsized as an adult? that's wierd.
starile 20
Circumcised guys ********** just fine, thank you.
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Comments (252)
stevenmx86 8
He just said he had the surgery and his girlfriend texted her friends...where's the fml? Lol
laced 0
Maybe she was just excited ! I doubt her friends would say anything to you, it's a standard procedure and not really funny or awkward for the most part. If anyone gives you trouble though, just say your girlfriend got lipo a few years ago xD
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Ooh, I like your hair! Check your PMs please. :)
brianjman14 23
Haha, nice one, Ignorance.
deidre823 7
You just barely got that shit done??
imhowie 2
And now you just told literally the entire world.
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Ha Ha Now everyone knows you're circumcized like most guys in the USA!
MasterYota 0
Actually, only 32% of male babies are getting circumcised in 2010, down from ~58% in 2008.
TyIsGeek 0
blame your mother!
fmlissoooooofked 0
^^ GINGERRRRR!!! KILLLL ITTTT!!!!
nerdsgetmehot 23
I was under the impression that you couldn't have sex for awhile after the surgery anyway if you get an adult circumcision. Circumcision apparently hurts a lot more for adult males than it does for babies, so it takes some recovery time.
nerdsgetmehot 23
I got the impression that OP was bummed that his girlfriend didn't want to immediately have sex and that was the FML...But on second thought, maybe I was wrong? If that really is his FML, then I was just saying that it would be extremely painful for him to have sex RIGHT after having been circumcised.
Koot_fml 0
Babies feel pain more then adults. infants can become quiet or even appear to fall asleep during circumcision. That's shock from their pain.
_Vamp_ 9
Hey buddy watch it. We gingers can and will eat your soul haha. Besides, there is only one way to kill a Ginger. You'll need a small Albanian child between the weights of 85 and 86lbs, 3 1/2 tsps of salted mayonnaise, and a copy of the new testament. May god be with you.