Today, my sister caught me bent over trying to trim my pubic hairs. She took a photo of my spread ass as a joke and scared me so bad, I cut my clitoris. Currently in hospital hopped up on the really good morphine for the excruciating pain. Oh, and the stitches, God, I can't forget the stitches. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I caught my sister using my shaver to trim her pubic hair. FML
Today, in a scene worthy of any comedy movie, I slipped and landed on my ass right on the garden rake my husband left in the grass. Sounds funny, right? Well, I have 9 holes in my ass and thigh that need stitches. One of them came close to poking my femoral artery, so technically I almost died. FML
Today, my sister attacked me and stuffed a Tic Tac up my nose. I'm currently in the hospital waiting to have it removed. FML
Today, I had to be go to the ER after I fell on a rake. After having stiches put in, my Mom wanted me to go to the store with her. My friend saw me at the store and thought it would be funny to rip off the band aid because she thought I was hiding a zit. She ripped out my stitches. FML
Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML
Today, I got mauled by some wild animals and had to get my butt cheek stitched up. The embarrassment doesn't end there though; the animals in question were kittens. The nurses on duty laughed and the entire ward found out. FML
Today, I nearly sliced my nipple off while shaving my chest and had to go to the ER. Turns out it was a teaching hospital so I got to explain in front of two doctors and eight med students how, even though I'm a woman, my nipples are so hairy I have to shave them. FML
Today, my sister kicked me up the ass with such precision that I’m still bleeding from my asshole where the toe of her shoe tore the skin. FML
Today, I was clipping my nails. When I got to my toenail, the whole thing somehow ripped right out. I'm in agony. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
#SaveTheBush has a new meaning.
ajh1800 25
Why were you bent over with your ass spread if you were trimming your pubes near your clit?...The physics just don't make sense in my head 🤷🏽♀️ That had to have hurt though...FYL
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Comments (15)
BurnInDemonFire 39
#SaveTheBush has a new meaning.
ajh1800 25
Why were you bent over with your ass spread if you were trimming your pubes near your clit?...The physics just don't make sense in my head 🤷🏽♀️ That had to have hurt though...FYL
EmDizzle2007 28
there's a reason it sounds like a lie.
spinspinsugar 12
maybe op trimmed from bottom to top and hadn't switched positions yet
jfigley 5
It's called, I'm trimming away and the reflex from being spooked would jolt the arm in a particular direction, in this circumstance it was straight to the clit...ouch!
mfranks19891989 10
Should have asked Asianboys boss to shave your bush or are you the bosses wife.
Kurliez408 32
Use a room with a lock next time but yeah that sounds painful af
Robert Cruikshank 7
Beard trimmer. Much easier and the new ones are cordless with nice attachments.
campdude90 15
Omg gurl why would you use a knife to cut? Being in bed next time might help... and please make sure you make him pay a little for this. Morphine is good tho.
Inkoseh 33
'Cause this repost is so old, that back then all they had was straight razors.
spinspinsugar 12
where does it say she used a knife?
Chris Fur Carr 2
Ouch
EmDizzle2007 28
there's no such thing as "bad morphine", so "good morphine" was a pointless point to attempt. secondly, if you've ever been on morphine, you'd know for a fact that there's no doing ANYTHING when "hopped up" on that shit. you'll either sleep or be in a daze. stop insulting our intelligence.
PryderPlayer017 5
I'm...I'm so sorry for your clit 😢