Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML
Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML
Today, I was drunk and sent my friend a picture of my penis. He edited the picture and put hands and sunglasses on it before sending it to practically everyone I know. FML
Today, my sister caught me bent over trying to trim my pubic hairs. She took a photo of my spread ass as a joke and scared me so bad, I cut my clitoris. Currently in hospital hopped up on the really good morphine for the excruciating pain. Oh, and the stitches, God, I can't forget the stitches. FML
Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML
Today, after surgery on my penis, I’m on drugs to prevent erections. My girlfriend now thinks it’s hilarious to walk around naked, bend over in front of me, and do other sexy stuff, because she knows I can’t do anything to her and it’s killing me. In three weeks, her ass is mine. FML
Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML
Today, I'm on vacation with my best friends. We went to a club and I drunk texted my girlfriend of one year about how nice everything is and how much I miss her. She responded by breaking up with me because she likes me more as a friend. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
AssMole 0
nicee. but who the balls gets circumsized as an adult? that's wierd.
starile 20
Circumcised guys ********** just fine, thank you.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (252)
kjthegreat 0
I knew something was different here! xD
firechildredhead 0
Oh my god. Are you for real? What a stupid fml.
gkings18 1
I love how the uncircumcised guys are getting all defensive and into it, fact is, girls laugh and joke together about your anteaters and would choose circumcised anyday, I've even heard girls ask friends if a guy was circumcised before hooking up with them, and when told they are they just say good and go for it
j4ym4n 2
good lad. shielas love it in the chop, a sock **** looks so revolting I nearly dry-wretch when I see them in ****. so glad my parentals gave me the chop as a baby!
bennyboy111 7
most em actually don't only tha ones in america do everywhere else uncut is tha loved
bennyboy111 7
haha knavis is just jealous
mcsquanch 0
wtf is wrong with u? why would a grown man cut anything off his ****?
bennyboy111 7
I dunno man weird ppl
MommaSchmidt 14
some girls like it better and it can make a guy last longer not to mention it much cleaner.
erik02gutierrez 0
Hahaha #13...ouch!!!
just4funbalt 0
sucks you had to chop some of your penis off.
danii_s2 0
some people r so naive. iv seen an 80 yr old get it done. they get it done for medical reasons. sometimes as the penis grows, the foreskin becomes too tight.
justcallmeben 0
ydi for getting circumcised xD
Koot_fml 0
YDI for cutting yourself