Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML
Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML
Today, I was drunk and sent my friend a picture of my penis. He edited the picture and put hands and sunglasses on it before sending it to practically everyone I know. FML
Today, my sister caught me bent over trying to trim my pubic hairs. She took a photo of my spread ass as a joke and scared me so bad, I cut my clitoris. Currently in hospital hopped up on the really good morphine for the excruciating pain. Oh, and the stitches, God, I can't forget the stitches. FML
Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML
Today, after surgery on my penis, I’m on drugs to prevent erections. My girlfriend now thinks it’s hilarious to walk around naked, bend over in front of me, and do other sexy stuff, because she knows I can’t do anything to her and it’s killing me. In three weeks, her ass is mine. FML
Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML
Today, I'm on vacation with my best friends. We went to a club and I drunk texted my girlfriend of one year about how nice everything is and how much I miss her. She responded by breaking up with me because she likes me more as a friend. FML
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Top comments
AssMole 0
nicee. but who the balls gets circumsized as an adult? that's wierd.
starile 20
Circumcised guys ********** just fine, thank you.
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Comments (252)
starile 20
She just had to celebrate!
kinkajoujennie 0
No tip for you!
kinkajoujennie 0
No more Dumbo trunk for you.
coolsteve 0
ugh what is it with people getting unnecessary circumcision? have fun with your new de-sensitised penis
sarah48_fml 0
lol this is really funny.. but I wonder why you waited so long???
ZleveL 0
lol I get it 11 ;)
Izabushel 65
What makes you think it was unnecessary? Some men have to have circumcisions for medical reasons.
de2391 7
parents may not have believed in it
deathisaponu 0
beast coment yet #11
zach5432 3
aha. ydi for not keeping it clean
Jessi2487 0
or 87, OP had it done because foreskin is gross and stinky(at times).
KingDingALing 9
OP- Go have sex with your girlfriend's friends. That'll teach her to make fun of your circumcised penis. :p
bigblue95 0
and so starts the circumcision wars. honestly ppl ur arguing about another mans dick.
ccc01 1
What ever happened to circumcision as a religious tradition?
cOOkiEzRgOOd 22
YDI for being J£//
hardboard82 0
why do people do that? other than health reasons?
tdawgheath 0
this
chadical 0
looks like you "puts on sun glasses" just got circumsised
anlhawks 5
people do that for religious reasons , I believe Jewish people do but I'm not totally sure . it's a bloody process :P can't imagine it
Mehness 0
127 - And for medical reasons. Well known fact that foreskins can get some nasty problems with em, not to mention the additional chances of infection in.. those areas.
Kartor 6
I'm sorry Chester...but ydi for getting cut.
337294 0
whereare u idiots from in america every kid is circumcised after birth
Maigraith 0
Not everyone in the US is circumcised, it's just a personal choice that the parents usually make.(except for those that have actual medical reasons)
khaya 9
244 how is it personal if the parents make the choice.
natsaysheyyy 16
Are you guys serious? Why did he have unnecessary circumcision? In my opinion, he waited way too long to get it done. It stays much cleaner that way and also feels much better for whoever he has intercourse with. There is every reason to get circumcised. So I agree with number one; hell yes she had to celebrate! Good for OP's girlfriend.
Freeze_fml 17
Let's cut some foreskins!
ScuseMePrincess 2
It's gonna be a real slick look. I think it'll really catch on.
bigblue95 0
year one ftw
aardvarkish 17
Fresh meat!
kratos1586 0
y would u take off ur helmet?.....
fmlissoooooofked 0
to throw it at liberals, why wouldn't you?
eraintimexD 0
blah
BahahahLOL 0
blah blah
sillybabee 3
DELICIOUS(:
husky88 1
interesting comment
Shystai 0
****
123jeff456 0
nice **** #5
sampimpinthug 0
I love ur pic :D
bricksta_op 0
very interesting
Brannie 4
indeed
Jester7 0
hi there, if that's a real pic then you are quite the gorgeous girl
longtimesunshine 4
taken
SoundnVasion 0
say goodbye to easy ************.
starile 20
Circumcised guys ********** just fine, thank you.
islandhani 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
yeah why would you say that? lol that was a dumb comment... I would think UNcircumcised males would be the ones with problems lol
coolsteve 0
Actually 29 it's easier to ********** with a foreskin as you don't need lube. Whereas circumcised guys have to use lube otherwise it would hurt rubbing dry hands on the head of your penis.
crashtest1205 0
im just gonna be totally open... I can't say that it wouldn't be easier if I was NOT circumcised, but I can say that I am and have no trouble and do not use or need lube to **********.
DocBastard 40
There is a phenomenon called TMI. Everyone having anything to do with this comment needs to learn what that means.
tcordell 0
hey 119...even tho that may be true...there is also a thing where...you don't have to read them if you think it's TMI...that's the beauty of YOU reading something vs someone talking...just saying
rebbee 0
I like penis.
GluttunousQueen 0
^ now THAT'S just...well whatever, i like penis too >.>
crashtest1205 0
welcome to the Internet, you must be new here, would you like to meet my friend goatse?
CheechyChoochy 0
I don't like ass chins
WTFreversed 5
lol my pussy plus your **** means good times lol anyway
JManHobbs 0
Great job on the triple negative 109...
tjc165 0
it's not hard to jack off with a circumcised dick
wtfcammelcheese 0
u r a complete dumb shit u dont need lube and anyway it is possible to ********** without ever touching the head not that I'm saying u hav to do that if ur circumcised
AssMole 0
nicee. but who the balls gets circumsized as an adult? that's wierd.
redbluegreen 41
Some adult males are circumcised for health reasons, including cancer.
SOTYsNumber1Fan 0
Very true
i_lold_at_ur_fml 0
silly assmole didn't you get an education?
litreofcola 0
although I do know some one who got circumcised because his girlfriend said it hurt her when they has sex but she just wanted to break up. he went through with it though and then he was in a lot of pain then she dumped him explaining the reason she said that. he is a dumb ass though.
xxjoseph1543xx 0
who ever said he was an adult?
Spastastic 6
177 -- if he's NOT an adult, and has a girlfriend who get drunk, then either his girlfriend is a pedophile, or they're really disturbing children.
Chelsea_BaBeZ 1
I know quite a few teens that drink, but you would need parent permission to get circumsized so young, and most would not approach their parents about it. especially if the origional reason he wasent, is because his parents dont believe in it, so he probroly is at least 20
hunter989 0
13 for me.
ChildsPlay_fml 0
hahaha
bbyychula710 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
lol wow ! wait arent u suppose to qet that cirqury when you're a newborn?
heyjenn 0
Your spelling sucks.
FYLDeep 26
Fist her. You ain't having sex anyways.
FFML_314 12
FYLDeep, I just..I can't......you have put such a horrid image in my head. OUCH! A girl fist would hurt, but OP is a guy. Bigger hands=bigger fists. Oh wow, ouch. I have to walk away now. You've ruined me.
redbluegreen 41
I've learned some people really do enjoy fisting. To each their own.
FFML_314 12
Oh, I have no doubt in my mind. It just sounds painful and somehow awkward. I suppose it's one of those "hey you'll like it once you try it" then it's "well you'll get used to it" sort of things. Or, I could just be a big baby.
redbluegreen 41
I think it's one of those things only a select, pardon my word choice, handful of people would enjoy. You would have to already be into a few other things before attempting such a thing. I remember hearing about a couple who had to go to the ER because a pound of cement had to be surgically removed from the man's colon. Why they were having sex where wet cement was not only present, but used... The mind boggles.
FFML_314 12
That is odd. I had to bring a resident to the ER after she came back from her husbands house. She had a rubber band stuck inside of her. She said "it was a **** ring" Disturbing.
redbluegreen 41
**** rings are pretty common. I've heard so much, I don't even consider bondage to be a fetish anymore, it's so overdone it's practically mandatory.
FFML_314 12
I suppose I was just disturbed, because she's like a grandmother to me.
redbluegreen 41
That is pretty disturbing, in any case. But it also makes some sense, seeing what a **** ring is used for in the first place.
laced 0
Bondage can get pretty crazy. I'd consider it a fetish
FYLDeep 26
Not sure if you guys got my original post. I was suggesting fisting her as a way of getting revenge. I was assuming that it would hurt her, and she wouldn't like it. Just off a fresh circumcision, there's no chance they were going to have sex anyways. I was just being intentionally blunt above.
redbluegreen 41
Oh I got it, don't worry. I was just making a sort of joke out of it.