Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML
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Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Congrats!
Today, I was at my sister's wedding reception. My boyfriend of three years decided to give a toast to the happy couple. He was drunk and confessed his undying love to my sister. FML
Today, my boyfriend left me for his sister. No, not my sister. His sister. FML
Today, I met a guy who said he thinks he's in love with my sister. As a joke, I told him that my sister cheats on everyone. I get home to find my sister crying, because some 'person' told her boyfriend that she's cheating on him. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home drunk. As he got home he asked me to marry him, I was going to say yes until he said, "Oh wait, wrong woman." FML
Today, my friend called to say my boyfriend was at a diner with another woman. I immediately went and caught them in a deep conversation. I slapped him and yelled "Who's this bitch!?" It turns out she's his half sister. FML
Today, my girlfriend ran off with my sister. FML
Today, I met my fiancé's parents for the first time. The only problem was that I was highly intoxicated. FML
Today, I went to my fiance's cousin's wedding with him. I got drunk and danced like a stripper in front of his entire extended family, who I'd just met that day. FML
Today, my husband came clean to having an affair with my sister. I later found out my other sister encouraged the affair because she thought they'd be a cute couple. FML
Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
Top comments
beerankin 0
Dump his ass.
ifoundalaska 11
Kick him to the curb girl
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Comments (254)
Monstee 2
I miss being a sperm. :(
ShawnzieNstuff 6
Like a boss
blackheart24 10
Time to get a better fiancé. Guy sounds like an asshole.
starxshine 0
Think of it this way, it's better that you found out now than after you were married.
afunnyterdcody 5
Why then he would be in the clear
FMLshark 12
"Sister? No. I'm his ex fiancé." Hopefully that's how the introduction to said girl ended.
Damn_Hippster 11
39- English isn't your first language, is it?
kyarush 10
Giggity
THE_A_TEEN 28
Bloody hell #1, you miss being a sperm? Go get a Sperm costume and go to the McDonald's PlayPen and go through the chutes and tubes pretending it's the uretha. Nostalgia, eh?
Jezlovespink 5
Tell her oh he was.my fiance just until he got here with you now bith of u can get tha **** out or choose 1 of 2 options 1.i kick your asses out 2.the cops can pick your asses out n when the cops get there tell tgem you dont know who they are n hopefully tgey go to jail for tresspassing and public intox!!!
Yodaevil 4
Fell for a ass did you? Seems to happen a lot. My guess is you're a downright gorgeous woman too...
blackheart24 10
140 thank you, I didn't know what was happening the first time I read that.
taco_bender 12
"Call 1-800-choke tht hoe"
Cad6 24
#1 what the hell kind of dumbass comment is that?
jab7769 8
3 some?
kingjames2306 0
The saying (like a boss) is so stupid
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
125, learn basic anatomy, sperm too, comes from the urethra.
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
194* ****! My bad...
abbyabb 4
WIN
chris36taylor 2
What... The... ****...
beerankin 0
Dump his ass.
grmnxsensati0n 4
divorce his ass
PaigeyTaylor 2
They arnt married yet so it would still be dumping, not divorce
domking1315 20
Thats when you say "im not his sister. Im his ex"
nava1210 12
Its alright, if you wanted to know, he later screamed out "Yes Brittany" during sex and she left because that was "sisters" name.
LolFMLnot 10
Maybe he felt like he wasn't ready for marriage and decided to break it off this way. O.o
taco_bender 12
Thats a pretty shitty way to hint a person they dont wanna get married.
stolencookie 17
Should have told her you were his live-in nurse. You have to help him with his everyday life because he has AIDS...
monkeywrench1 10
OP you deserve it. If he feels like he can pull off a stunt like this it shows that he has no respect for you at all. That means this relationship went downhill long time ago and you should have leave his sorry ass way back. Being with someone just to don't be alone is not healthy and shows desperation. And now, let the thumbing-down begin!
taco_bender 12
Then again he was drunk.
gary_bush2000 2
Hey how can u chat with people on here
spekledworf 18
160 are you retarded, by any chance?
spekledworf 18
Monkeywrench you are probably one of those people that tells women and children it was their fault for being raped/molested.
Marteeny23 19
212- don't call people retarded its rude. Some people really are retarded and you insult them when you throw that word around on idiots and morons.
spekledworf 18
boooo political incorrectness! Idiot was once used to describe mental disabilities too, should I not use that word either?
Liindaaax3 4
I know right
punk6743 0
Yeah dump him. And since he cheated you get everything
tara805 0
Word.
saralynnee132 10
Dumb ass
Haaskyle 2
Well, are you?
leogirl95 12
Obviously not
Haaskyle 2
Just a joke, meant nothing by it
chasemoehlman 1
LOL but that sucks
electrorange 13
May OP is Whitney Houston's daughter. Seeing that she is engaged to her adopted brother!
HeartOfLead 24
Sorry but try posting something funnier. As for the OP,when he said, "that's my sister", he was trying to convince YOU that the lady he was with was his sister. It some what worked(I read and understood the FML...just letting future trolls know).
irepmn 14
162. How does Whitney Houston have to do with this?
MidnaLink 35
No dumbshit, he told the lady he came home with that the OP was his sister. Dumbass!
ifoundalaska 11
Kick him to the curb girl
iamyummylicious 14
She should marry him, wait for him to mess up, and then take him for everything he is. Leave the douche homeless. Take it one step further and have a child. Monthly checks for 18 or so years. Cha-Ching. Win.
DocBastard 40
Yes, because getting drunk and making a stupid (VERY BAD) mistake is a great reason to completely ruin a man's life. Excellent logic.
SolanumX 6
Leave it to women to make the good calls. I think he'll be messed up enough from op dumping him.
Awsumuzzie 12
31, you're completely right! Have a kid from a guy you don't care about that might grow up just like the dad and use the kid as a pawn! Why else would people have kids? Let's ignore that fact that the kid might have a crappy life and OP now gas baggage! All this for monthly checks from a homeless man (which is what you said).
iamyummylicious 14
Maybe the kid part was a bit too far, but ruining his life isn't that bad of an idea. It's not like he hasn't ruined her life. I mean my mother took my father to the cleaners over 10 years ago and hasn't worked since she married him 25 or so years ago. Best. Business. Transaction. Ever.
williamcarter93 13
that's not ruining her life...it's not like after this she won't ever be able to do anything, see anything, or love anyone again. It's just momentary mental anguish
DocBastard 40
Yummylicious, you need to be more careful when you post. You've completely exposed yourself as a money-grubbing, gold-digging twat. He hasn't ruined anyone's life. Sure, he's a complete asshole and he probably ruined the relationship. But the magical thing about humans is our ability to deal with tragedies and MOVE ON with our lives. He doesn't deserve to have his life ruined over this. For the sake of my gender I hope you never get married.
iamyummylicious 14
I'm a male (if you bothered to check my profile), but gay. I come from an affluent family, and have plans on having a career. I won't need to depend on a spouse. However, I'm not marrying down. I'll probably marry another wealthy male and maybe become a stay at home father. I don't care if you see me as "money grubbing" and as a "gold digger". Many see those as negative attributes. I see them as securing your future. It's also nice to have nice things. Back on topic: he led her along for A LONG time only to stab her in the back. Not only ha he wasted her time, but now she'll most likely have trust issues. At this moment I would call her life "ruined". He deserves whatever.
DocBastard 40
I am perfectly aware of your gender and sexual orientation. Was that not clear from my post or did you not bother to read it thoroughly? The fact that you use the phrase "marrying down" (and the rest of your comment above) shows that you're an immature brat who cares only about money and things. That doesn't make you a good person. The only people who don't see money grubbing as a bad thing are goddamned money grubbers. I stand by my "gold digging, money grubbing twat" statement. **** you and everything you stand for.
br0ccoli 15
I just think kids shouldn't be used as 'revenge' or 'child support cash making machines'. What kind of deluded thinking makes that seem like a good idea? I know, as a friend, it sucks to see a friend with so much potential be manipulated by a pregnancy. Leave kids out of it.
rudegirlmania 10
Preach, Doc! Amen...
cjwalsh86 0
Well there's your problem there. Freaking gays and their stupid ass opinions. I suppose after taking it in the ass for so long, you become one.
JurassicHole 5
I don't understand how people like 85 can justify being extremely hateful and greedy. News flash, if this is how you choose to represent yourself it'll only rub people the wrong way and they won't want to be around you. Money can get you nice things, but it can't buy true love or friends. I pity people like yourself who can only see past their own personal gain, instead of helping their fellow man or being there for others. Yummy, I hope you see the error in your ways before the hate in your heart turns you black on the inside. A life of greed, hate, and spiteful-ness is not a life at all. :/
dominic1221 6
Way to feed the troll! Every time I see this kid comment, he's always quick to put his claimed sexuality out there along with his retarded comments. You ask me, he's a homophobe trying to start a flame war. And if he isn't, he's a disgrace to the LBGT community. Just bury the ******** and move on.
CadyAsInKatie 8
Why would anyone bother to check ur profile, Yummy? All you say to define yourself is "I'm Gay." like a effing tard. Big woop! So u are gay? What does it have to do with Doc's comment on you being a Gold-Digger? You use being gay like it justifies you saying whatever you want. Nope! Sorry! I Don't give a crap about your sexual orinatation. You are just some stupid brat who's materialistic.
Fiskerz 0
Isn't using someone for their money just as bad as what OP's hopefully Ex fiancé did?
demonmonkey 13
Can't stop the Doc!!!
Jasonf6 0
He made the decision to go to a bar and get drunk. He should make better decisions when engaged and/or married.
spekledworf 18
lol. that is all.
Orion1434 5
Wincest? :D
olpally 33
No you fool... Read the fml again... Smh
ashra_Raivyn 2
See ya is what I would have told his jackass! F U and slam the door
BronyVasNormandy 12
That's what you get for being engaged to your brother.
Mariaa5411 0
She's not.. He just said that so the girl wouldn't leave...
Vulpes21 6
Whoa! 9's comment just flew over your head 64
CSRozell 4
lmao indeed it did
RedPillSucks 33
Apparently, FML needs a <sarcasm> tag
Darkruler 5
#Sarcasm
ProhibitionRose 14
179- a "pro" wouldn't have gotten caught.
ankoku 2
Walk in on them naked and confess your love to your fiancé. Make sure to bring up how magical your last time together was.
OneNightStan 2
Probably the worst idea I have ever heard.
afunnyterdcody 5
Hell no
ankoku 2
Well after the other chic flees for her life the op can also. Blue balls + Ex is alone = revenge
ejjamael 5
now that would be funny as hell!
Sixers01 0
Start packing his stuff.
NiveaKK 9
Dump the asshole, get a guy home and tell him he's your father. :)