Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML
Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML
Today, I was drunk and sent my friend a picture of my penis. He edited the picture and put hands and sunglasses on it before sending it to practically everyone I know. FML
Today, my sister caught me bent over trying to trim my pubic hairs. She took a photo of my spread ass as a joke and scared me so bad, I cut my clitoris. Currently in hospital hopped up on the really good morphine for the excruciating pain. Oh, and the stitches, God, I can't forget the stitches. FML
Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML
Today, after surgery on my penis, I’m on drugs to prevent erections. My girlfriend now thinks it’s hilarious to walk around naked, bend over in front of me, and do other sexy stuff, because she knows I can’t do anything to her and it’s killing me. In three weeks, her ass is mine. FML
Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML
Today, I'm on vacation with my best friends. We went to a club and I drunk texted my girlfriend of one year about how nice everything is and how much I miss her. She responded by breaking up with me because she likes me more as a friend. FML
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Top comments
AssMole 0
nicee. but who the balls gets circumsized as an adult? that's wierd.
starile 20
Circumcised guys ********** just fine, thank you.
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Comments (252)
panda101x 0
How old are you??!
Herropreez17 0
WHY WOULD YOU GET CIRCUMCISED??? I was at birth and had NO choice in the matter. I still can't forgive my parents. You are an idiot. YDI and then some.
nitemastr15 17
I am so glad I got circumcised as a baby. No memory of it at all.
nitemastr15 17
I have to say, being circumcised makes it easier to clean your penis. Other wise you have to make sure you clean inside your foreskin. Just saying I know people who got penis infections for not cleaning right. All other were uncircumcised.
longtimesunshine 4
that would suck
ViviMage 40
I hope you had a medical reason. I find scarification in the name of beauty a disgrace to the body. Don't buy into religion either, ie, a non jew marrying into a Jewish family must be circumcised as an adult.
emuexport 4
Cool, no more stinky dairy dick !!!
Baajuju 10
I fail to see the problem here. Who cares!!! Her friends are going to be more interested in the fact she drunk texted not what about. Baby!!!
kieron2013 19
well at least you'll be less of a dick about it. X-D
anon385 23
Why would you even..?