Today, I'm not getting paid 400$ per month because I failed my Russian language proficiency test. Russian is my first language. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Communication Breakdown
Today, I was unable to communicate with a customer who only spoke French. As a result, my boss called me a "monolingual idiot." I speak Spanish, German, and Japanese. FML
Make it make sense
Today, my boss is on the phone with a Russian customer, who keeps saying, "Speak Russian please!" My boss asks me to translate, as he hired me for my knowledge of Russian. He says something, I translate in Russian, then the customer says, "Speak English please!" FML
Bosses gonna boss
Today, I noticed I spend most of my day translating French, German, and other languages for my boss, as he talks to people overseas. As his assistant I make crap money. If I were promoted to a Translator I’d make a lot more. He won’t promote me. In fact he threatened to fire me if I asked again. FML
Today, my English teacher told me that I failed my grammar test. Her exact words were "You ain't gonna pass this class if you ain't gonna study." FML
Today, my crazy bitch of a boss fired me for inappropriate conduct. Apparently my "fake Nazi accent" is "offensive to our Jewish coworkers." I'm German. I have no way to change the way I speak, or to pay this month's bills. FML
Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML
Cough up
Today, I didn't get my driver's license, even though I didn't make any mistakes because my examiner said it was only my first time taking the exam, so it wouldn't matter if I failed. Now I have to pay another €240 for a second exam. FML
Offended
Today, a customer came in who only spoke Spanish. I speak Spanish rather well so I helped the customer. She ended up buying $2300 worth of stuff. I got written up because not speaking English apparently "has the potential be offensive to other customers if they are not able to understand you." FML
Today, I misspelled the word "failure" in front of all my co-workers. Now I'm not given any writing tasks. FML
Today, I began taking a French language class. After completing and submitting some homework, I got a response. A response that was completely in French. I can't understand shit. FML
Top comments
DocBastard 40
I guarantee that their are a lot of native English speakers would fail an English proficiency test to. You're test was probably just a bit two hard. Just except that you need too study harder and due better next time. Good luck.
nightbirdblue 27
Native speakers tend to have more improper grammar and usages of slang than those that learned a language in an educational environment. Learning a language naturally tends to leave more room for twisting the rules of that language's grammar. Those who learn a language in an educational setting end up learning rules of that language at the same time as they learn the language itself. Natural learning of a language tends to get the language before full understanding of the rules of that language is learned and understood.
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Comments (146)
alligator729 15
Then how did you fail it?!
nightbirdblue 27
Native speakers tend to have more improper grammar and usages of slang than those that learned a language in an educational environment. Learning a language naturally tends to leave more room for twisting the rules of that language's grammar. Those who learn a language in an educational setting end up learning rules of that language at the same time as they learn the language itself. Natural learning of a language tends to get the language before full understanding of the rules of that language is learned and understood.
alligator729 15
I know this lol. I figured it out after I had posted it, and I thought I had added another comment but I do not know where it went lol.
KawaiiCupcake 14
I don't blame you OP, Russian is a pretty complicated language... Like when it says O you have to read it as A in some cases. If you really live in the US, it's natural to forget your native language, and just cuz you speak it at home or friends it doesn't change anything. I speak my native language at home, but if I took a language test right now, I would fail.
rldostie 19
I agree, it's probably a military DLPT test. I use to take those and they can be very specific. The vocabulary can be very targeted and removed from normal conversational language. If the OP learned Russian from speaking at home (and not growing up in Russia), then it's very understandable that he failed the test. But some boning up on military and government vocabulary as well as looking into Russian current events can get him through the second time.
KenB99 15
american russian is a whole lot different that russian russian
Bcfrmkc816 17
Yes it is very hard to pass the tests. Most of the time it's incorrectly identifying the language written word because a simple loop or tail or sway of some letters can misinterpreted. Also when it's spoken fast and you don't catch it all it can cause you a lot of trouble in a foreign land.
wolfgold2 20
Because it was actually supposed to be Italian...?
mikuxxhatsune 32
I am Chinese and knew how to speak it fluently but I can't read or write Chinese very well since I was born in Australia.
tazmanmike2013 17
1st! That sucks OP, FYL for sure
riashah 14
Oh maybe you can try something else.
PrincessCastiel 27
He said He's NOT getting paid
riashah 14
That's why, my comment about him trying something else.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
#4 - you just failed your English test.
Rainhawk94 27
#4 your picture looks like Bella from twilight if she had down syndrome
gracehi 33
Wait...she DOESN'T have downs syndrome???
KB616 11
That's ironic, because that IS a picture of Kristen Stewart (who plays Bella from Twilight).
Cazz91 21
Because insulting someone (picture or in person) by using downs syndrome is totally acceptable and not at all insulting to the individuals that have it right? SMH.
incoherentrmblr 22
#38, I think you mean literacy.
DocBastard 40
I guarantee that their are a lot of native English speakers would fail an English proficiency test to. You're test was probably just a bit two hard. Just except that you need too study harder and due better next time. Good luck.
Tupelo_Honey 30
Haha, all my grammar peeves in three sentences!
alligator729 15
#5 is correct though. Just adding at that.
ChenEighty 20
More like a grammar nazi's untimely brain aneurism.
kaitieloo 22
-cringe-
RedPillSucks 33
How many people are twitching, trying desperately not to add a comment editing all the mistakes. (Please don't say "What mistakes?")
Kyuzomi 12
Are you serious...?
okibi1 20
I love you, Doc. That comment is awesome.
Evan52 2
took me a second to realize if this was purposeful or not. well played, sir.
MateRicks 18
Please tell me you're joking. #27
Zelphoric 25
My thoughts about 27s comment: uh oh, retard alert! retard alert class!!
Zelphoric 25
And I was merely making a south park reference, not being offensive haha
zsshamalama 11
*accept Oh, the irony.
SassyBasher 13
Dammit, Doc! That was the most cringe-worthy paragraph I have ever read!
DocBastard 40
Zsshamalama - Are you actually serious? THAT was the only mistake you caught? I hope you don't have any English proficiency tests coming up. You'll fail for certain.
falon142012 22
#88, if "except" is all you can find wrong with that, you need a rethink as a Grammar Nazi.
katertott 44
Ha! I see what you did there. Nicely done.
Miki101 18
I see what you did there
TrinityisLife 22
DocBastard! You strike again and this time you're making me twitch, damn you!
rinoa_fml 10
You should have misspelled "guarantee" as well. That error drives me crazy.
brinnablaine 22
Your comment, though amusing caused me actual physical pain. ;)
blackonblight 33
Ow. Thanks for hurting me, Doc.
russfml 31
Not soo good at English yourself, are you? Lol
noxvita83 8
I see what you did there.....
COAWD 5
And, you'd fail for using too*, your*, too*, to*, and do* incorrectly.
lachicadecafe 12
A bit TWO hard? Really/
Lonus 9
When I started reading your comment, I was like "Da **** is this shit?", but then halfway through I was like "Ohhh...haha..."
Kstruggles 15
It's accept not except.
FlawlessSin 5
Please for the love of god, be trolling.
maccapacca 10
Your comment. Please. No.
mycatsnames 1
DocBastard, you're my hero
darkfireflame 15
The irony of this post makes my brain hurt.
tournamentdecide 33
All of you guys saying I see what you did there, it's Eye sea what you did their. Gosh.
JakeHRogers 7
You must be speechless. GET IT
cyttex 13
Dude how many of these are there, I yes I "get it"
Never_Land 10
Wow dude, try to be a little sympathetic
allie2590 31
THERE IS NO SYMPATHY IN THIS DOJO!
Kamon97 23
That's understandable I mean there are people in my school who fail English tests after all but still FYL
iiTzNeeNerz 26
You failed the test and it's your first language. It doesn't make sense. I mean, unless you were (wait for it) Russian through it! :D No? Ok.
Kamon97 23
Better than #6 joke at least
perdix 31
#8, to the contrary, he was probably Stalin for time :)
Ambient25 25
Yet he still got bad Marx.
DeathcoreDashie 11
LOL #81
kristalynA 7
I hope you can take it again, but dont feel bad many native english speakers can pass English exams!
Lomus 24
I think you mean can't. I take it you're (with an apostrophe) one of those who couldn't pass their (possessive) English exams.
Lomus 24
There is a line between laziness and stupidity, sadly it's crossed so much on the Internet people don't bat an eyelid. My way of thinking is, don't use words you can't spell. Then we'll know the reasonably intelligent from the braindead.
clair_brodie 35
I try to write or speak online like I would in my daily life... There is no reason to be lazy on the internet.
Lomus 24
What kind of autocorrect doesn't put an apostrophe in 'don't'? I don't know about you, but I tend to read through what I write online in case I've made a stupid typo. Plus, might I take the phrase "I couldn't care less" for example - Americans usually say, "I could care less", which really undermines the point (see the David Mitchell video "dear Americans" if you really care). I was presuming this was yet another example of people not knowing the difference between positive and negative statements, not just a simple typo.
persianninja 23
Don't worry There are people who fail English tests at my school
AssassinBug 15
Why are there numbers next to our pictures?