Today, my family is too damn close. My uncle on my dad's side just got my aunt on my mum's side pregnant, three cousins from dad's side are dating three cousins from mum's side, and a half brother from my dad is marrying my half sister from my mum. We are the inbred rednecks of this town. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while at my family reunion, I learned my grandparents were first cousins. No wonder we're all crazy hillbillies. FML
Today, my dad admitted to dating and getting my stepdaughter pregnant, and they’re very happy. My wife is furious. Meanwhile, my brother pointed out it’s a real life version of the Willie Nelson song. Once the baby is born, our inbred family tree will result in me technically being my own grandad. FML
Today, I’ve suffered my whole life with a bunch of genetic conditions and I found out why at my dad's funeral. A bunch of relatives from America attended and one of them secretly told me my parents emigrated to England under a cloud of shame because they were brother and sister. I’m inbred. FML
Today, we got the results of our family's ancestry DNA tests. My father isn't related to me, but my grandfather is still my grandfather. Apparently grandma cheated on grandpa to get 'dad', and my mother cheated on 'dad' with my 'uncle' to get me. FML
Today, after there was only one family that hated me enough to beat me up when we were kids, and we still don't get along as adults, my youngest brother is now dating into that family, and one of my older brothers is dating into that family too. It's like some kinda sick curse, or karma. FML
Today, I found out my wife of 5 years, with whom we have three kids, is actually my cousin. At a family dinner someone had pointed out how much she looks like my uncle. We laughed until she mentioned that she was adopted from the same town my uncle's ex-wife had a baby. A few questions and a blood test later, we all learned the sick truth. FML
Today, talking to my boyfriend about each others families, we noticed we both had an aunt with the same name. After a while of trying to figure things out, we decide to call her. Turns out that we are long distance cousins. FML
Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML
Today, I found out that my half-brother from my mom’s side is dating my half-sister from my dad’s side when I caught them hooking up at our last family event. Even though they aren’t blood related, it’s still super creepy for some reason. FML
Today, I found out I'm going to have a sister. Who’s the mom gonna be? It’s my cousin from my mom’s side. My dad’s excuse? "Well, she ain’t blood related." FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
All of those people are only related by your parents' marriage, so it's technically legal, even if it does feel gross. Or do you just feel left out of the pseudo-incest lovin'?
wmayrhofer 18
it's not inbreeding but it sure sounds like you live in the sticks
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Comments (27)
BurnInDemonFire 39
All of those people are only related by your parents' marriage, so it's technically legal, even if it does feel gross. Or do you just feel left out of the pseudo-incest lovin'?
whyisitincapital 25
Sounds like the Bold and the Beautiful.
Yudith 28
Sounds more like "Down and Dirty", the Italian movie.
KebbyWebby 9
Your family is just like mine.
lilfuzzy 10
Plot twist, you’re related!
Phillycheeze 20
Incest is best...relatively speaking...
wmayrhofer 18
it's not inbreeding but it sure sounds like you live in the sticks
skippydoda 32
A family that plays together stays together.
Zekfen 17
Is that you Honey Boo boo?
Jay Bourgeois 8
Plot twist: mom and dad are bro and sis
BasketBallForever293 17
Quick get outta there
1DisGR8 32
At least they're not blood-related... Although it will be weird telling people your brother married your sister...