Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML
Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML
Today, I was drunk and sent my friend a picture of my penis. He edited the picture and put hands and sunglasses on it before sending it to practically everyone I know. FML
Today, my sister caught me bent over trying to trim my pubic hairs. She took a photo of my spread ass as a joke and scared me so bad, I cut my clitoris. Currently in hospital hopped up on the really good morphine for the excruciating pain. Oh, and the stitches, God, I can't forget the stitches. FML
Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML
Today, after surgery on my penis, I’m on drugs to prevent erections. My girlfriend now thinks it’s hilarious to walk around naked, bend over in front of me, and do other sexy stuff, because she knows I can’t do anything to her and it’s killing me. In three weeks, her ass is mine. FML
Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML
Today, I'm on vacation with my best friends. We went to a club and I drunk texted my girlfriend of one year about how nice everything is and how much I miss her. She responded by breaking up with me because she likes me more as a friend. FML
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Top comments
AssMole 0
nicee. but who the balls gets circumsized as an adult? that's wierd.
starile 20
Circumcised guys ********** just fine, thank you.
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Comments (252)
dibbledipps 0
Ydi for getting an unnecessary surgery. Unless it was necessary, but I highly doubt that.
Spastastic 6
Wow, practically no one has suggested the possibility that he was converting to Judaism or Islam...
wtfed 0
Agreed with 155 you do NOT chop a part of your dick unless it'll save your life... you don't. but atleast you chose it... unlike the millions of babies who are mutilated with the consent of their parents. BLAAARRRGHHH!! ******.. UP!!!!
ifyouseekamy666 0
151 y r u telling ppl that!! now they're gonna kill us!!!!
AlexisDreamer 0
No reason to cut! Be proud to have a little extra to feel, I feel bad for the decision but still YDI.
PaddedWhiteRoom 0
ydi for mutilating your own penis?
marvin_fml 0
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LOLSWAT 0
68 what do u mean we take all the good stuff? men dont have ****, we dont have two types of orgasms and we certainly have a refractory period. what part of that is good?
WTFreversed 5
how old are you? Don't like the you get circumcision when your a baby? unless your changing for your girl
moonmask 0
Has anyone else noticed that his gender is "Seattle"?
Freeze_fml 17
No. Seattle as a gender. Interesting.