Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML
Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML
Today, I was drunk and sent my friend a picture of my penis. He edited the picture and put hands and sunglasses on it before sending it to practically everyone I know. FML
Today, my sister caught me bent over trying to trim my pubic hairs. She took a photo of my spread ass as a joke and scared me so bad, I cut my clitoris. Currently in hospital hopped up on the really good morphine for the excruciating pain. Oh, and the stitches, God, I can't forget the stitches. FML
Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML
Today, after surgery on my penis, I’m on drugs to prevent erections. My girlfriend now thinks it’s hilarious to walk around naked, bend over in front of me, and do other sexy stuff, because she knows I can’t do anything to her and it’s killing me. In three weeks, her ass is mine. FML
Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML
Today, I'm on vacation with my best friends. We went to a club and I drunk texted my girlfriend of one year about how nice everything is and how much I miss her. She responded by breaking up with me because she likes me more as a friend. FML
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Top comments
AssMole 0
nicee. but who the balls gets circumsized as an adult? that's wierd.
starile 20
Circumcised guys ********** just fine, thank you.
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Comments (252)
misshyper7991 7
circumcision is healthier and more attractive. :) dude, u did the right thing and I'm sorry ur gf is a stupid idiot. :
gooseboy 0
Ah, the unkindest cut of all!
cocobarracuda_fml 0
It's funnier than anything else. I'm surprised so many people seem to be like shocked by the girlfriend, because she told people about the circumcision, and so ? Is it because circumcision is something intimate ? Well when it's about sex life people think it's ok to talk about that, but not when it's something as intimate as... a circumcision ? Is it because it's concerning male integrity ? xD Anyway ! She was drunk, and drunk people often do indelicate things. But what she did isn't so serious, even if I agree your life suck (a little).
Chocolate_Chunk 2
read the comments again, nobody gives two ***** about the girlfriend. his penis is way more important
stlphil 0
Who cares that her friends know. I had that done 37 years ago.
lindsayr425 0
243, only 30% of newborn boys in the U.S. in 2009 were circumcised after birth, because many more parents are now educated in the fact that there is absolutely zero reason to circumcise newborn babies. girls have the same folds and tucks of "gross" skin that can harbor infections, but we treat them with antibiotics, not surgery!
Freeze_fml 17
Um, it would seem wise to go ahead and get rid of it if it can harbor infections.
Chocolate_Chunk 2
So, Freeze, why not get rid off of arms and legs? you can have an infection there, too
Freeze_fml 17
They are definitely more vital to a person than an extra patch of skin.
tmarie21 0
AGREED! Well Put! =)
ThePiegonMonkey 4
I guess you could say your girlfriends not a cut above the rest.
FriskyCoconut 0
lol at sillybabees picture, i saw that on a funny pics app, the csption was "pony tails, because we like something to hold onto"
KarylD 0
And you just had to announce it to the whole interweb. good job
dollface19 0
Okay, circumcision has officially been deemed NOT medically necessary by the american association of pediatrics, and really isn't any cleaner or more likely to get infected than an uncircumcised penis...because of this, only 33% of american baby boys were done last year, since insurance companies will no longer cover it. Keep it clean and you're fine. Geeze.