Today, while pensively thinking up my next awesome Facebook status over dinner, I finally came to the conclusion that I need to get a life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I spent an hour deleting 70 of my status posts from the past week so I don't look so addicted to Facebook. Damn, I need a life. FML
Today, I decided not to go on Facebook so people would actually think that I have a life. FML
Today, I decided I need to get a life. I reached this epiphany when I failed to take notice of my friend calling me, until he started calling out my Xbox gamertag. FML
Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML
Today, I realized I've been sinking into a deep depression, ignoring all my friends, and don't know what to do with my life anymore. This is all because I gave up Facebook for lent. FML
Today, I realized my self confidence is based on the amount of "likes" I have on my Facebook statuses. FML
Today, at 2 am on a Saturday, I purposely updated my Facebook status from my iPod so people will see that I posted from a 'mobile device' and think I'm out at a bar having a life, instead of sitting at home on my bed watching movies on my Netflix. FML
Today, on Facebook, someone wrote a status implying that she was going to kill herself. I called a mutual friend, asking to check up on her. The next status the girl puts up said, "Someone thought I was going to commit suicide! Haha what a loser!" FML
Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML
Today, I took a deep breath and started journaling to "figure out my life." Two hours later, I had written four pages of ranting about my upstairs neighbor's loud footsteps and zero pages about my life goals. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 30
Your NEXT awesome facebook status? Yeah, somehow I doubt that you ever actually had anything close to an awesome status. So, what did you make of it? "Chicken and peas for dinner today!!! lol,jk jk, it was actually chicken and carrots!!11!"
Jimminee 3
sometimes it just comes to you.
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Comments (89)
Jimminee 3
sometimes it just comes to you.
KiddNYC1O 22
Nice, boners.
Suchagoonnn 4
haha just because he thinks youre not funny it doesnt mean hes an idiot. thats actually a pretty idiot thing to say. youre just mad.
barberton21 0
cmon brod ELB IS pretty funny take it from an Akron Ohioan.
mycookiezz 0
ELB, no offense to anyone but that was the funniest shit I ever read in my life!
Winter247 2
ELB, you are famous, and my idol. Continue the good work.
Navith 13
45 - Don't forget a "your life rocks" button, that would make Fml amazing.
illmatic2 16
45- You can't call him a troll because you clearly started this. Quite frankly, I don't care if you like him, but don't write annoying comments about it.
KingDingALing 9
I wish that you would have forgotten to put the comma in your sentence, KiddNYC1O.... What an immature thing for me to say. I feel like I'm in the OP's situation except instead of being a Facebook addict, I'm a FML addict. It's as if Sirin uses her magical banhammer to bait me in to coming back...
funnyFMLSplz 0
funny, you guys like ELB comment on every single post and ur making fun of people online and making fun of people that need lifes? maybe u Should get one
Thabb 0
44-your idol is someone that you read comments from on the Internet? You need to get a life more than OP.
GoPro2Oh 0
well im glad u can talk rich and snobby.
supernerd352 7
snobby is a funny word!
mamamiaaa_fml 12
ELB is beastttt! Stop hatin.
KyleIsSoFine 0
Lolol, I love how everyone is arguing with eachother over pointless shit. Come on guys. It's an Internet battle. Nobody ever wins. There is no end to the contradictions.
Zebidee 9
Yes there is.
Lalala1996 0
3V3RY1 L0V3S B0N3RS ..... I do.
GiddyXD 0
I like doritos
Zebidee 9
See?
urdirtyolduncle 15
ELB -- the next docbastard/perdix "You're the kind of man I would use as a blueprint to build an idiot." LOL genius!
salva13 3
who the heck is ELB?
ArmedcrackerR6 8
And how long did it take you to notice this?
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
The first step is acceptance!! And well that's as far as I've got as well(; Goodluckk to you, my dear!(:
notaveragejojo 0
FML's aren't how they used to be. Smh.
impatientsnake 4
so true now it's all about ppl feeling sorry for themselves
Jackmangold 0
isn't that the exact same thing you should be doing with this FML right now?
teenagethunderbo 0
So, what was it?
NJXD 0
co sá azy !!!
kinga08 0
Um, yeah I agree with you OP. Maybe you should try to interact with people in the real world rather than update your status on Facebook. I promise it's way cooler and way more fun.
shetbags 0
lol you are on the computer 2. lol
Mercedeh910 0
win^
kinga08 0
There's a difference between using the computer, and having Facebook consume your thoughts, thank you very much. I don't have a Facebook and don't spend time actually thinking "Hmmm, what can I put on Facebook to make myself look cool." I don't think browsing FML once in a while qualifies as a sign for "I don't have a life." If it does, then that means you think every single commenter here doesn't have one either.
slushpup9696 12
A few months ago, my friends started commenting about how funny my statuses are and how they cheer them up. Thinking about a status before you write it doesn't count as not having a life.
young0426 3
我顶你
newfiegirl 8
you never fails to make me laugh!
Snowe 2
Facebook: Taking innocent lives since 2004.
getraped 0
yeah facebook is dumb as hell
faithe92 0
but you probably still use it....so stop complaining.....
ganksta_ikm 1
Jo momma!
Doortje 30
Your NEXT awesome facebook status? Yeah, somehow I doubt that you ever actually had anything close to an awesome status. So, what did you make of it? "Chicken and peas for dinner today!!! lol,jk jk, it was actually chicken and carrots!!11!"
chippa 24
LOL. I found that -way- funnier than I should have! xD
CaptainPickles72 18
Same here.
Shawnee_dear 10
Agreed. But then again I laugh at accidental capitlizations.(x
CrazyGirl445 4
I agree with 16... your not alone lol
SarahStarzz 0
#11 that was funny lol it made me laugh XD even though I wasn't suppose 2 laugh at it hehe nd yah OP fb an be addicting but get over it
JessieWallis 0
amazing.
geminiwings87 0
Your picture is the same one I have on my ps3 profile.