Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML
Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML
Today, I was drunk and sent my friend a picture of my penis. He edited the picture and put hands and sunglasses on it before sending it to practically everyone I know. FML
Today, my sister caught me bent over trying to trim my pubic hairs. She took a photo of my spread ass as a joke and scared me so bad, I cut my clitoris. Currently in hospital hopped up on the really good morphine for the excruciating pain. Oh, and the stitches, God, I can't forget the stitches. FML
Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML
Today, after surgery on my penis, I’m on drugs to prevent erections. My girlfriend now thinks it’s hilarious to walk around naked, bend over in front of me, and do other sexy stuff, because she knows I can’t do anything to her and it’s killing me. In three weeks, her ass is mine. FML
Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML
Today, I'm on vacation with my best friends. We went to a club and I drunk texted my girlfriend of one year about how nice everything is and how much I miss her. She responded by breaking up with me because she likes me more as a friend. FML
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Top comments
AssMole 0
nicee. but who the balls gets circumsized as an adult? that's wierd.
starile 20
Circumcised guys ********** just fine, thank you.
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Comments (252)
CallMeHush 1
Tell her to kiss it better.
cloud_strife_ 0
The foreskin contains a lot of nerve endings. It won't be as good.
LemonLala 0
Some people don't get circumcised till a certain age because of beliefs as well. I'm not sure which one would wait so long but I know my co-worker is getting his son circumcised next year when he turns 12 because that's how he becomes a man for his beliefs.
Chocolate_Chunk 2
another reason why "religious beliefs" are stupid as **** and why religion shouldn't be respected
bennyboy111 7
ydi op for cuttin urself
carm3nl1 0
your FML shouldve just stopped after u said today I was circumcised, seeing that your old enough to actually write about it. IT has to hurt. who cares bout ur gf drunk texting?!
fmlissoooooofked 0
my doctor did a good job when i was younger.. wanna see? lol
darryljustinhell 0
circumcised dicks are cleaner. well for the girl atleast when she gives you head. so be happy you've got a **** star dick right now ! I've got a circumcised one, but mine was from birth so i can't tell u how painful it is but good luck haha
scj 0
yes I was going to write something similar. I think it should only be done if necessary. foreskin ftw!
matt1397 0
why would you do that??? uncut dick is sexy!!!
TheBananaTheif 0
Would you, perhaps, happen to be gay?
natural711 6
so?
slayinvisible 0
not an fml, you are now a valued member of society. suck it up op.
tucansam555 3
4skin is disgusting