Today, my neighbor came up to me, lowered her voice and said, "I suggest you buy some drapes for your bedroom dear..." When she started to walk away, she added, "...and a gym membership." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML
Today, on my way to work, the obese old guy in the house opposite mine offered me tips on my yoga technique. Not only were his tips helpful, but I now know I should either close my curtains or put clothes on when I do yoga. FML
Today, my neighbor, who is an elderly woman that I barely know, decided to tell me about how she feels she's lost too much weight and now when she looks at herself naked she thinks her boobs hang and look like bull testicles. FML
Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML
Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML
Today, I was chatting with the cute new receptionist at the gym. I told her that I would be going there more if she was there. She looked me up and down and said that I should go regardless. FML
Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML
Today, I received a package. When my mom asked what I had bought, I had told her that I had ordered dumbbells and was going to start lifting. She laughed her way into the kitchen. FML
Today, I was shopping with a friend. We snuck into the same fitting room so we could give our opinions on each other's clothes. The suspicious saleswoman knocked on the door and asked how many people were in our room. I quickly answered, "It's OK. She's just watching." FML
Today, my mother offered to give my overweight girlfriend the workout DVDs that she no longer needs. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
Who needs a gym membership when you already have a perfectly good bed capable of enduring all the working out you'll ever need?
SChew 6
so go get a gym membership
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Comments (89)
SChew 6
so go get a gym membership
mshooter 0
SChew I respect your opinion but I humbly disagree without telling you why.
Lozza111 0
will you tell ME why?? =)
SmallTownCutie 0
That's when you say, "And maybe YOU should take your head out of your ass and look at yourself. Your not so easy on the eyes either dear." That's what I wouldve said(:
FFML_314 12
You're fat, OC.
KingDingALing 9
OP- I'll go to the gym with you, if you want. :D
KingDingALing 9
In addition to my last comment, OP, if you're hot, then we can sexercise ;)
DarkHelmet 10
well take the hint then
MarkSeattle 0
fat chicks walking around naked with the lights on and no drapes are funny. I'd video it and post it to fatchicktube or something, lol.
UpYoursInAdvance 0
32 how would you even know it's neccessisarily correct of OPs bitch neighbor to try to call her fat... you ever heard of jealous bitches?!
skyyy_fml 0
obvious by seeing her picture?:}
Mars_Bars_Big_Na 0
yea but 22 you're pretty hot so its different, and most people have a choice ovr there bodies and those who can't you can tell
Jojo08_fml 0
#22 win!!
justcallmeben 0
ydi for leaving yourself that exposed
redbluegreen 41
Who needs a gym membership when you already have a perfectly good bed capable of enduring all the working out you'll ever need?
FFML_314 12
I like enjoy this comment. I think I may just claim it as my own. OP all you need is a water bed and a willing participant. HAPPY HUNTING!
FFML_314 12
I have no idea why I said "like enjoy" I can't pick either or, so you choose!
zeeda 0
Nosey b's. Ask them if you can use theirs.
far_east 6
that neighbor is a winner.
Graawr 7
buuuuuuurnnnn.
Frenchtony 17
you're hot :)
nerdsgetmehot 23
#53 You're creepy.
Frenchtony 17
why that ?
jbomber95 4
u r 2
FFML_314 12
v k 5
misfitSuperStar 0
Put a big poster in your window facing her house and write 'Enjoy the show!' on it. lol
laaurenbubs 6
LOL!!
z620 0
lol ask them y they pulled up a chair and watched
mshooter 0
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL Win.
MmissyT 8
lolz numba 12=win :D