Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML
Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML
Today, I was drunk and sent my friend a picture of my penis. He edited the picture and put hands and sunglasses on it before sending it to practically everyone I know. FML
Today, my sister caught me bent over trying to trim my pubic hairs. She took a photo of my spread ass as a joke and scared me so bad, I cut my clitoris. Currently in hospital hopped up on the really good morphine for the excruciating pain. Oh, and the stitches, God, I can't forget the stitches. FML
Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML
Today, after surgery on my penis, I’m on drugs to prevent erections. My girlfriend now thinks it’s hilarious to walk around naked, bend over in front of me, and do other sexy stuff, because she knows I can’t do anything to her and it’s killing me. In three weeks, her ass is mine. FML
Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML
Today, I'm on vacation with my best friends. We went to a club and I drunk texted my girlfriend of one year about how nice everything is and how much I miss her. She responded by breaking up with me because she likes me more as a friend. FML
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Top comments
AssMole 0
nicee. but who the balls gets circumsized as an adult? that's wierd.
starile 20
Circumcised guys ********** just fine, thank you.
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Comments (252)
fmeupdabutt 0
#5 is hot
James_Stazington 0
You're angry about your girlfriend getting drunk and texting her friends about it, yet you just told the world wide web about your...personal issue.. Hmm.
avenged7xforever 0
I freakin got circumcised when I was like 2 months old. damn why would you wait till you're older?
Bloeduwedd 0
I don't see why people feel the need to criticize cirumcision. Yes, it's unnecessary, but men still get pleasure from sex, whether they're cut or not. If they were circumcised as babies, they'll never know the difference, if there is one. I, for one, prefer cut over uncut (uncut makes me gag), but unless my fiance says otherwise, I'm going to leave my sons uncut and let them choose when they're older.
Chocolate_Chunk 2
with the same logic, you could cut off womens ********. They still can have sex and g-spot-orgasms and they'll never know the difference if it was done as a baby. Hell, why not cut off an arm? they can still do stuff with the other arm and they would never know the difference if it was done as a baby. Also, the cutted-off arm can't get dirty!
xXSamPerezXx 0
how old are you?
garthvader 0
******* cutfag. why would u purposely mutilate the most important part of your body? you sir, are a complete idiot
Kai58 0
soo uhm..... hmm is Seattle now a gender? xDD am i the only one who noticed?? xD (too many comments to see who else noticed) xD
Chocolate_Chunk 2
CTRL-F -> Seattle. It's not rocket science.
Jester7 0
technically it's not a surgery, it's a procedure. a circumsition is not in any serious enough to be surgery, so for that alone you deserved it.
mightymart 5
so that what all those SMS were about!!
FmyLinNY 0
ydi for getting circumcised. being cut as a baby is bad enough, why would anyone put himself through that!?