Today, I tripped and fell on my open dishwasher, right onto a carving knife. I'm mostly ok, except that my nipple has been sliced neatly in half. Seriously, the two halves keep flapping open like a little mouth. It would be funnier if it wasn't so painful. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my foot, but only because it hit my knee. FML
Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML
Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML
Today, while shaving I accidentally shaved of half of my left nipple. Worst of all? I didn't notice it until I looked down and saw blood everywhere. That's when the pain hit. FML
Today, I was cleaning a pan. I turned the water on, and it was super hot. My reaction was to slam my hand down. On a knife. So, not only do I have a burned hand, but there's also a huge cut on it from the knife. FML
Today, I was rushing with the dishes when I scraped against a very sharp knife, which left a noticeable cut right down my wrist. No one believes my story that it was a freak kitchen accident, they think that I’m either an attention seeking fucknut, or crying out for help. FML
Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML
Today, as I was putting some dishes away, I spilled water on the floor. While walking around the dishwasher, I slipped on said water, and after going to urgent care, found out I tore my meniscus. FML
Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them, I impaled my forearm on a knife that was sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML
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Top comments
alternative-facts 6
OUCH! This made me cringe and clutch at my own nipples in sympathetic pain. Go to a hospital. You probably need stitches. Or you could go to a piercer, and have them put in a nipple ring to keep the two halves from flapping open. Depends on what you're into. But get it checked out now. A cut that deep needs to be seen to. Go. Now. Stop reading FMLs and go...
Chazzster 32
Sorry OP - That sounds awful. You need to go to the emergency room. Never load a dishwasher with knife points up!
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Comments (23)
alternative-facts 6
OUCH! This made me cringe and clutch at my own nipples in sympathetic pain. Go to a hospital. You probably need stitches. Or you could go to a piercer, and have them put in a nipple ring to keep the two halves from flapping open. Depends on what you're into. But get it checked out now. A cut that deep needs to be seen to. Go. Now. Stop reading FMLs and go...
itssnotfunny 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Get some nail glue and glue it together or something if you're too embarrassed to go out and do something about it.
thedictator_fml 12
What is wrong with you? OP definitely do not do this it's terrible advice!
Chazzster 32
Sorry OP - That sounds awful. You need to go to the emergency room. Never load a dishwasher with knife points up!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
OMG OW! That made me scream and cover my mouth so I didn't disturb the neighbors! I am so sorry! That's horrible! Now, thanks to FML still messing up, it says your name is Eleanor but that you're a male. If you're a male, it sounds like you might have had your shirt off. If you're a female, I have to wonder why your shirt was off, unless the knife sliced right through it. I imagine there was probably a lot of blood? You may want to consult a doctor just to be safe, and be sure you have a tetanus shot.
pjsr 33
Maybe you'll start a new trend. People will go into piercing shops and, instead of saying 'I'd like Prince Albert', they'll say 'I'd like an Eleanor'
Ashley Vincent 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I really just don't think this is real.
Ashley Vincent 2
and if it is then they deserve it
Soulless_95 20
Yooooooooouuuuuu should probably see a doctor....
woodmr13 9
And that's why you don't put knives blade-up
SassySlytherin 16
Please please go get that stitched up. Save the nipple.
AirBusDriver 23
This type of accident is not uncommon but is preventable, heed the advice regarding the orientation of knives and always lift the door up to protect others especially small children passing by the dishwasher. You could save a life.
Colon_Man 17
I was surprised. After I got my dishwasher, years ago, suddenly all the horror stories started coming in about people tripping on open doors. Now, I rarely use it. And I make sure knives are pointed down and are in the back.