Today, while watching a family movie, my mother made every effort to make sure I covered my eyes during a kissing scene. I guess it shouldn't be a surprise, since she still forces me to put my phone in her room every night as she makes me go to bed at 8:30 PM. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to see a movie with my parents. During a sex scene, my dad covered my eyes. I'm married and have 2 kids. FML
Today, I was watching a movie that had a mild sex scene in it. My mother walked in just as that scene was starting and she flipped out. I'm now grounded. She's taken my TV and laptop out of my room and refuses to let me see my boyfriend because she's sure he's the cause of my "disgusting behaviour". FML
Today, my dad lectured me because my mom cried herself to sleep last night. Why? Because I didn't want to watch a movie with her. I had to go to sleep to be up for work at 6 a.m., and was too tired to watch a movie in the first place. I live with drama queens. FML
Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML
Today, my mom came into my room to give me a goodbye kiss. Due to the routine of my girlfriend doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than what a mother/son kiss should last. My mom actually had to tell me to "let go". FML
Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML
Today, while babysitting a young girl, I put on the movie Bambi, as she told me it was her favorite movie. I didn't know that her parents always skipped the scene where Bambi's mom dies. Despite my attempts to comfort her, she was still upset when her parents returned. Her mom blamed me. FML
Today, my parents watched a horror movie with some creepy child in it. Apparently, I sound just like that kid when I call for my mom, so now she doesn't want me to call her mom anymore. FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to put a camera in my room so I could be watched at all times, to make sure I'm behaving. I'm 14. FML
Today, my mom came in my room to give me a goodbye kiss. Out of pure instinct, from hours of doing this to my girlfriend in this exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than what a mother-son kiss should last. My mom actually had to tell me to "let go" before I let her leave. FML
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Top comments
talking_toilet 19
How old are you exactly?
Welshite 40
Oh the joys of being four years old.
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Comments (74)
talking_toilet 19
How old are you exactly?
NeatNit 33
Down to the microsecond, please.
tantanpanda 26
nah, nanosecond would be more appropriate in this situation.
Silk_Routes 14
Old enough to post a FML
Shieldsam 15
So about 9? xD
BlockOfRedStone 25
I made a stupid comment and can't delete it so instead I'll edit this and inform everyone that I'm working with the Illuminati and have found out tha-
duckie227 22
For being so young, you sure have better grammar skills than most of your elders.
hooplidoopler 7
She must have sent this in on her leapfrog phone
ihartmytdi 23
She's gonna be a wreck when you go off to College
TheCookieComet 23
No, not her/he they will be going off to college
ihartmytdi 23
... Wat
Tthug 34
I had a friend...or shall we say I knew a guy like this in college. It didn't end. His mom would call and interrogate him. Use parental controls on his laptop (that he used almost exclusively for school), and even took away his car at one point when he lied or something. I'm sorry OP. Unless you're under 15 or something. Then it's still kind of silly, but I understand the phone part for sure.
lovelockdown23 23
the cookiecomet means this persons mother is going to follow them to college. lol definitely shouldn't be down voted.
JayGatsby 25
My mother called the cops on my sister when she was in college, because my sister never returned my mom's calls at 7:00 in the morning (my sister was asleep, of course)
russfml 31
Man that is brutal. Overbearing parents like that make their kids lie to escape. FHL
Welshite 40
Oh the joys of being four years old.
Sandsh8rk 36
Wait, so 4-year-olds having cellphones is now a thing?
mike3775 39
Sadly these days. It seems they do. I have seen numerous 4 yr olds in my area having their own cell phones
NonoMeow 18
I've seen 6 year-olds with iPhones.
RenoTheRhino 30
6 year-olds with iPhones, and I have a Nokia.
littlekellilee 45
I have a friend with a two year old who has her own iPad.
samchaps19 11
I know multiple kids age 4 and under who have their own tablets, phones, and computers
SubparAtBest 23
Whe I see kids with IPads and the like it hurts my soul.
ZombieVampirez 24
I'm a nanny and the 6 yr old has his own ps4 and an iPhone 5. I still have a galaxy S2. So sad.
thatguynamedsky 32
i had mine since 2nd grade, and my sister since kindergarten but it was because our parents were never home when our schools got out
Hyenayena 27
I had a flip phone but it was like... Emergency use and stuff, or really important calls.
gracehi 33
It's not as crazy as it sounds for toddlers to have their own tablets and phones and such. They have a lot of apps, some of them educational, specifically for toddlers and young children. And for obvious reasons, parents don't want their toddlers playing with their gadgets, so they get them their own.
Pashazil 10
You should save it as a surprise and just one day tell her that you're not 5 years old.
aloha_oe 24
Get another phone she doesn't know about and keep giving her the old one :D
mwali02 32
That's an expensive lifestyle you are recommending. Let's hope that part of the moms control freak tendencies are related to her paying the phone bills...
fifi125 21
Unless it's a friend's broken old phone?
Kitten_love 22
You can easily buy a phone at any electronics store and switch the Sim card. It's expensive but a one time cost.
radiocaf 29
#6 hence why you should allow your kids some privacy, otherwise you are teaching them how to keep secrets and lie to you. Bad parenting imo but everyone is different.
mrbump122 13
thug life!
sammaster60 8
Wait till she discovers ****
hippocrite 13
No she won't, she's not going through his apps. And if she was then she would see what he wrote
SuperCasual 13
You're a ******* moron
_mandyjewel_ 9
You made this app 10X better!
jezka374 15
Over protective much?
Sharpshooterisle 18
Jesus, what do your other family members think?
freer14 12
If your old enough to submit an FML your old enough to move out
MandieL 27
Yes, because people don't lie about their age on the Internet.
TacoMan32 21
...at 13? I dunno, the age block here is pretty young
SPN_lover666 27
You know children are on this site, right? it is a possibility that OP is as young as 13.
MandieL 27
It's been so long since I've signed up, but don't you need to agree that you are at least 17? But isn't that all? There is no way to really prove that you are of age on the Internet. And most kids these days can get past most parental locks.
Badabam_fml 14
The age block is 13, same for most social media sites.
warped_executive 16
And you're how old ?