Today, as always, I'm dating one of the few girls who, without fail, always finishes first when we get intimate. She's also one of those girlfriends who doesn't want to continue once she's done. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her first and last...with plenty of people in between. FML
Today, I slept with a friend who always bitches about how he can't keep a girlfriend. When he finished within 3 minutes, I understood why. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML
Today, I had a one night stand. After her laying there without moving for ages, she impatiently asked if I'd finished. Once she got bored and told me to just finish myself off, her song playlist began playing "Never Gonna Dance Again". Very romantic. FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. Being the stud that I am, after a short time I turned to her and said "You think you're ready for a round two?" She replied "No, but I do think I'm ready for the rest of round one." FML
Today, despite warning my new girlfriend I suffer from bad premature ejaculation, and should get her to orgasm first with my hand or mouth, she insisted I “just fuck her already” then she blamed me when it was over in 15 seconds. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML
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Top comments
MrBrightside21 20
I'd be satisfied to have anyone with a female reproductive organ.
Ziggy122 15
Hey, at least you're good enough to make her finish!
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Comments (143)
enginsteve 17
You should try harder to beat her so you can finish on her face. Then you can dump her and find someone else that gives a shit
lifeinlace 3
I think she just needs to suck it up, ...literally. :)
sweetcatastroph3 9
if ALL your girlfriends have done this, i would advise you into evaluating the quality of your sex. they're probably all faking it to get it done with.
mandaabananaa 4
If that's the worst of your problems. I don't feel sorry for you.
iwadasn 33
If the roles were reversed, you'd do the same thing and you know it. If you wouldn't care in that situation, why should she?
belladonna929403 0
They are all faking to get it over with.
metallicraven 0
retarded ejaculation is a bitch I've lossed out of a few relationships because they thought I "must still be in love with someone else
floatablebullet 7
Is the log ride still open
noah1997 3
You just must be "that good."
staceydv90 4
Awww poor baby XD