Today, after giving my mother and my girlfriend their Christmas presents, I realized just how similar they looked both in box size and wrapping paper. I noticed after my mother gasped upon finding a vibrator in her box. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ran out of underwear and so I went into my mom's drawer to borrow a pair from her. It was then that I found out my mom uses the same vibrator as I do. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, my mother-in-law purchased matching Christmas presents for myself and my sister-in-law to open together in front of everyone. Guess who are now the proud owners of matching metal tampon cases. FML
Today, as I was waiting in line to give my mom her birthday present, my dad gave her the exact same gift I'd also bought for her. FML
Today, I finally received the vibrator I ordered online. Too bad they labeled what the item was on the outside of the box, and my dad was the one to pick up the packages. FML
Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago. It was in my mom's bedside cabinet. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML
Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML
Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML
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Top comments
Conasaur 8
Name tags my friend. Name tags.
funnyguy2697 6
why would you give your girlfriend a vibrator?? Isn't that what you're there for?
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Comments (161)
onorexveritas 24
was it molded to your penis?
fyrfyter 4
I've heard of some kinky stuff, but this is the first time anyone has ever mentioned giving their mom a sex toy!
olpally 33
Reminds me of the song "dick in a box" by lonely island boys featuring justin timberlake. Lmao, Omg.
turdontoast 8
What, no comments about a vibrator in her "box"?
Slackness 10
You know, I was just thinking that.... Quality line there!
PaperUmbrellas 4
What's with all the people thinking women don't ********** while dating someone? Everyone masturbates, whether someone is pleasing them or not. Besides, it's a vibrator, men don't vibrate. But seriously, a vibrator as a Christmas gift? That's really lame.
Chris455 8
If you had put some sort of indication on the boxes, that wouldn't have happened. YDI.
Nydeira 11
Ydi label the boxes next time.
james9120 7
Why would you give your girlfriend a vibrator to open in front of your mom?
TheNamelessOne 9
I'd just like to point out to people saying "why give that to your girlfriend to open in front of your mother" that OP never said that the girlfriend was there at the time. OP merely stated that he gave his mother the wrong gift. It's entirely possible that OP had given his girlfriend the gift before today, and therefore she didn't open it at the time, and saw his mother today to give her gift, thus the confusion. Seriously though OP, labels labels labels!
barefootchic 6
Maybe it's just me, but I thinks a sex toy as a gift is pretty unromantic and kind of lame. Sure it's sexy, but still.