Today, after giving my mother and my girlfriend their Christmas presents, I realized just how similar they looked both in box size and wrapping paper. I noticed after my mother gasped upon finding a vibrator in her box. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ran out of underwear and so I went into my mom's drawer to borrow a pair from her. It was then that I found out my mom uses the same vibrator as I do. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, my mother-in-law purchased matching Christmas presents for myself and my sister-in-law to open together in front of everyone. Guess who are now the proud owners of matching metal tampon cases. FML
Today, as I was waiting in line to give my mom her birthday present, my dad gave her the exact same gift I'd also bought for her. FML
Today, I finally received the vibrator I ordered online. Too bad they labeled what the item was on the outside of the box, and my dad was the one to pick up the packages. FML
Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago. It was in my mom's bedside cabinet. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML
Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML
Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML
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Top comments
Conasaur 8
Name tags my friend. Name tags.
funnyguy2697 6
why would you give your girlfriend a vibrator?? Isn't that what you're there for?
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Comments (161)
Conasaur 8
Name tags my friend. Name tags.
Jeterforever 3
Why give your girlfriend a vibrator if she could just use you?
Enslaved 38
I'm wondering why the boyfriend would have his girlfriend open her gift in front of the mom. You know the mom is going to want to borrow it now.
pradip 26
21-OP mixed the boxes since they were wrapped similarly, and OP's mom received the vibrator. Now OP's girlfriend may need to borrow it.
testestestes123 4
Thanks for explaining things Captain Obvious! Somehow I imagine Pradip speaking in the voice of Goldmember
senor_awesome 14
32- It wasn't that obvious for every one. 21 needed this to be pointed out to them.
rattusrattus 19
This is why you wrap and tag each present as you go. Then move onto the next present. I've never had a mix-up.
GreenBrain 3
Op could be female
SoSickWithIt 14
58 Does that even ******* matter? No.
iShanny 13
21- I thought the same, then realized the FML doesn't actually say that mom and girlfriend opened their gifts in each other's presence. OP could have given them the gifts in advance and just watched his mom open hers. Meanwhile, somewhere else, the girlfriend is wondering why her boyfriend gave her old lady slacks...
ChristyBVB 8
Lol like seriously. Name tags could really help..
bugmenotmofo 34
Umm... no offense, but you need more imagination, I think. At least when it comes to sex. Guy and vibrator are not mutually exclusive. There's limit to male endurance, but women can have multiple ******. So you could use vibrator on girlfriend when you can no longer do it yourself. Or you could use it for DP if she's into this kind of thing. There are many other other ways to use it. Many, many other ways.
HelloChrissy 9
58- maybe he was just answering 18s question. Just a thought.
HelloChrissy 9
I ment 62, not 58
id4l 8
104 name tags tell you who the gift is to it could of stopped the whole situation from happening
liv_graham 7
How hard is it to double check? Especially when one of the gifts is a vibrator.
subwaysurfers 13
He'd have to unwrap it to check if there's a vibrator in there. Wrapping presents is a very difficult task, my friend.
TML329 14
Not if you put names on it as you go
happle 21
Or different paper.
subwaysurfers 13
I misunderstood. Thought Liv meant to double check after they finished wrapping. My mistake.
X_Codes 11
@19 - Wrapping presents is only difficult for people like the OP who obviously have no clue what they're doing. Seriously, it takes about 5 minutes to learn to properly wrap any gift that's roughly box-shaped of any size.
radiocaf 29
Box shaped gifts are the easiest to wrap too!
funnyguy2697 6
why would you give your girlfriend a vibrator?? Isn't that what you're there for?
sens3sfailing 25
Some men like to be able to pleasure their girlfriend even when they aren't there. Plenty of women in a relationship use vibrators, just like many men in relationships still jerk off. It is no different.
funnyguy2697 6
hmm good point. i take back my comment
KatjaM 15
Or OP might be a woman? Gender isn't specified :)
Simoneaux17 11
Yeah, uh no.
DracoSpirita 21
Do you have a problem with us gay people, 42? Are you a homophobe? :P
imperialtl 12
Whaaaat? Where did this come from?
thejewishfuhrer 17
The real problem here is that the girlfriend was simply going to receive a vibrator. Whereas truly thoughtful men give their girlfriends custom molded ****** of their penis.
buck33 14
42 - Maybe, uh what?
sens3sfailing 25
Regardless of if OP is female, my message still stands that a lot of people ********** whilst in a relationship. It doesn't matter if you are a woman or man. Sometimes the libido women have is down played drastically because you girls are just really good at controlling yourselves.
luccmon 6
Yeah but my girlfriend doesn't supply me the **** on family holiday get togethers...
Felling 14
There was a FML earlier where a guy gave his girlfriend a custom mold of his penis. xD
Sly_Assassin 11
That's the same thing I said!! :O
fml121785 14
Maybe OP is in the military and going over seas and wants his GF to have something to keep her occupied and content while he's gone. There's lots of reasons to give your GF a vibrator.
Sparks808 10
Give her a vibrator, sure, but even if it didn't get accidentally opened by your mom, it's embarrassing for your girlfriend to open it in front of your family regardless. That's a gift that should be opened in the privacy of the bedroom. So I say YDI.
Sputnikspak 13
Why not give your girlfriend a vibrator? (Or other sex toy, for that matter). My partner has bought me plenty of toys, although usually I'm along to choose it and it's usually for Valentine's Day or our anniversary. I have periods of time where I can't have penetrative sex (I have a variety of health problems, including Lupus) comfortably, so we tend to use a combination of sex toys and other body parts instead. When I was going into hospital and wouldn't be able to have any sex after surgery for two months, I bought him a Fleshlight. Who cares? However, why the OP didn't use different paper and name tags is a bit beyond me. That seems like a bit of poor planning. Since I generally have four people to purchase stuff for, if I'm using the same paper I also use curling ribbon, and we get four colours on a roll - white for Mom, red for Dad, green for my brother, gold for my partner. Just in case.
theneatoburrito 8
137- Too much information.
janro72 10
My dad gave my mom a vibrator for her birthday one year. But I guess that's different
Vladash 14
Agree with #4
xLIGHTS_fml 23
Should've wrote names on the presents after you wrapped each one of them.
retyi43 14
5 - your picture is freaking awesome
saIty 17
Awkward moment when she screams "ERMAHGERD!! I LOVE IT! " Then proceeds to tell you how your father can't pleasure her like he used to anymore.
Feared 9
I think you meant to say. Ermergherd, er lerve ert!
ICastillo 25
OP's Mom: *Opening present, pulls out ****** What do we have here? OP: Oh shit sorry mom that was for my gir..... OP's Mom: I love it, I'm going to go try it out right now. Thank you son. *runs up stairs*
gc327072 31
Like a little kid. "omg THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I'm going play with it RIGHT NOW!!!" *runs off*
OhDearBetrayal 25
Lets be thankful that it wasn't molded to be exactly like OP's penis if his mom actually reacted like that.
randii_17 11
Up vote, simply because you used "ermergerd" haha
whY402Jay 12
Why would you buy your girl a vibrator anyway? Not doing your job or what?
evilvagina 9
nothing like banging your lady in the poo pipe whilst a vibrator tickles her lady cake.
TellMeWhatsDeath 14
Of course evilvagina would say that.. xD
ElmoSaysSquishy 28
Maybe they're a lesbian couple.
GhostChickens 17
He has limits. There are things his penis can't do. It's a dick, not a swiss army knife.
MarkEternal02 19
I know this comment will probably get down voted but after the lousy morning I've had I just have to thank you for making me laugh out loud with your comment. So with out further ado, Thank you!
bugmenotmofo 34
I can think of at least 5 ways she could use it with partner. You need to train your imagination. At least it when it is sex-related.
DanielleinDC 34
First, guys (assuming OP is male) do have recovery time. And even people in relationships use toys and take matters into their own hands.
zombieslayer83 19
Did she ask about batteries?
ICastillo 25
The awkward moment when you remember you actually bought them both vibrators... That's why the boxes looked so similar.
Ozuru 11
Did your mom say thank you?
Dogystyle69 11
Did she gasp out of happiness?
howdeedoo 22
I'm guessing it was out of shock, not happiness
robertd73 24
I thought the gasp was from having a vibrator in her box.