Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML
Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML
Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML
Today, while I was at my job as senior care, I was in a client's home vacuuming the carpet and found a very used vibrator that belonged to his wife. It wasn't clean. FML
Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML
Today, I handed my mother-in-law my phone to see the toy that I was going to get for my nephew. While she had the phone, it swiped away to my last search of… vibrators and sex toys. I have no idea if she saw it before she handed me my phone back, saying, "It went away." FML
Today, my mom and I were talking about a wedding decoration that we are going to use at my wedding. I insisted that I gave the decorations to her and I didn’t bother looking in my house. She came over for the night and cleaned while I was at work. She found the decorations that I'd insisted that I'd given to her. FML
Today, I found out that the sleeping mask I'd been using for months was actually part of a BDSM kit. I found the rest of it in my dad's room. FML
Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I remembered that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML
Today, my mom and I rented a hotel room. She decided to go to bed, while I watched MythBusters. Apparently, my mom got hot while she slept. She threw the covers off of herself and pulled up her night-gown. I turned to find out that my mother does not wear underwear when she sleeps. FML
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Top comments
smc3106 25
How did you not feel the weight of it in the pillow? YDI
manb91uk 22
Well at least it wasn’t made from a mould of your husband’s penis. Wait, was it?
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Comments (11)
smc3106 25
How did you not feel the weight of it in the pillow? YDI
Rabite 28
What do you think vibrators are made of? They are not that heavy.
TJ Bradley 10
My fiance has one that she involves in our sex life sometimes. I agree they aren't heavy at all
manb91uk 22
Well at least it wasn’t made from a mould of your husband’s penis. Wait, was it?
coolrunnings1021 14
didnt know you could do that! Everydays a school day 🤣🤣
RichardPencil 32
She’ll forget about the pain in the neck when another part feels sssoooo damn good! PS: You may want to throw out that vibrator. If you ever get it back, that is.
Dave_Davington 34
How exactly did she find it? Did she see it, feel it or smell it?
ThrottleJockey 36
Oh Heaven forbid your mother learns that her adult daughter and son in law have an active sex life. /sarcasm
Rabite 28
I don't think that this is the point of this FML. It's just a personal item.
mt21mt 15
...do you do laundry very often?
Amazingandro 15
My Thought. Who doesn't wash their camping pillowcases when they come back- and then give that unwashed pillow to a guest?!?
Glowworm56 27
Maybe it helped out her neck!
Lobby_Bee 18
Uhhh Mom, it's a neck massager.
thatslifeiguess7 16
I think it hurt your neck cause you were on a vibrator
anyoldnamewilldo 23
Would not have happened if you washed your pillowcase when you got back from camping. How often do you wash your linens?