Today, after giving my mother and my girlfriend their Christmas presents, I realized just how similar they looked both in box size and wrapping paper. I noticed after my mother gasped upon finding a vibrator in her box. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I ran out of underwear and so I went into my mom's drawer to borrow a pair from her. It was then that I found out my mom uses the same vibrator as I do. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, my mother-in-law purchased matching Christmas presents for myself and my sister-in-law to open together in front of everyone. Guess who are now the proud owners of matching metal tampon cases. FML
Today, as I was waiting in line to give my mom her birthday present, my dad gave her the exact same gift I'd also bought for her. FML
Today, I finally received the vibrator I ordered online. Too bad they labeled what the item was on the outside of the box, and my dad was the one to pick up the packages. FML
Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago. It was in my mom's bedside cabinet. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML
Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML
Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML
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Top comments
Conasaur 8
Name tags my friend. Name tags.
funnyguy2697 6
why would you give your girlfriend a vibrator?? Isn't that what you're there for?
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Comments (161)
AlexRen 21
I want to know what you intended to buy your mom?
rockstar362 8
lol oh god! talk about sending mixed messages...
tybird 6
Did she at least use it once out of curtesy
juwood 7
So that means that even if they were given to the right people, your mom would still be there when you gf opened her gift...it would have been awkward no matter what.
writergirl23 19
At least it wasn't her mother.
iamlonelybuthapp 3
No you idiot she was happy... It was a gasp of happiness...!!!
False_Stupidity 42
You probably made your Mother's Day.
Kitsi 14
You deserve it. You clearly don't respect your girlfriend if you can not get her something NOT sex related. Secondly, if you can't even upgrade to engaged or married and are already needing to add toys to your love life, you might as well forget it. Such a shallow physical relationship won't last anyway. I am glad you got embarrassed because it was a stupid thing to do.
Sinkhole 26
Right. So, only engaged/married people can have fun with sex toys? What's wrong with having fun like that while dating? Also, you're making a whole lot of assumptions there.
rahrah27 10
I'm sure there's plenty of girlfriends who would appreciate a present like that, especially for times when they're away from their significant other. Also, you shouldn't have to get married to prove that your love life is going well.
CharresBarkrey 16
God, sex with you must be so boring, 108. Not willing to try toys? They make it more fun, they don't do all the work.
love_me_electric 20
The amount of stupidity in this comment makes my brain hurt. First of all, not everyone even wants to get married. Maybe they've been together for 10 years already. Just because two people aren't married doesn't mean their relationship isn't serious. Secondly, how the **** is that disrespectful? If anything I'd say its thoughtful because he wants to make sure she's always sexually satisfied. I'd rather get a vibrator from my boyfriend than flowers or chocolates, tbh.
johnny_derp 3
ydi for giving your girlfriend something as moronic as a vibrator for christmas. you're a cheap lame ass and probably only got it for her in the hopes that she would use it in front of you. if you bought appropriate presents this wouldn't have happened to you.
grannygruber 6
Hey now, a "good" vibrator is NOT a cheap gift. Hopefully it just wasn't the only thing he bought her! Lol
johnny_derp 3
a vibrator is just a shitty gift for christmas (especially if it was the only thing he got her). also, why would he give her the present to open in front of his mom if it was a vibrator? this guy is just failing the night away.
jaff23 11
you just undermine yourself by giving your girlfriend a vibrator!