Today, after giving my mother and my girlfriend their Christmas presents, I realized just how similar they looked both in box size and wrapping paper. I noticed after my mother gasped upon finding a vibrator in her box. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I ran out of underwear and so I went into my mom's drawer to borrow a pair from her. It was then that I found out my mom uses the same vibrator as I do. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, my mother-in-law purchased matching Christmas presents for myself and my sister-in-law to open together in front of everyone. Guess who are now the proud owners of matching metal tampon cases. FML
Today, as I was waiting in line to give my mom her birthday present, my dad gave her the exact same gift I'd also bought for her. FML
Today, I finally received the vibrator I ordered online. Too bad they labeled what the item was on the outside of the box, and my dad was the one to pick up the packages. FML
Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago. It was in my mom's bedside cabinet. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML
Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML
Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML
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Top comments
Conasaur 8
Name tags my friend. Name tags.
funnyguy2697 6
why would you give your girlfriend a vibrator?? Isn't that what you're there for?
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Comments (161)
looney_mc 4
I hope it wasn't a clone a dick one!!
fml0505 22
1. A vibrator is a bad present to open in front of everyone. 2. You don't want to get replaced by a vibrator!
sgtsharkey 6
Why in the hell would you be giving your girlfriend a vibrator in front of your mother in the first place? Sounds like a made up story to me.
bugmenotmofo 34
Look. If you want to give present like that, you should definitely give it in private. Without your or her parents nearby.
dragincock 4
It's to use together... Like a threesome without cheering. I always love it when my wife and I bring the vibe in- the more satisfaction she gets the hotter I get.
HarleeMae 6
Why would you want your girlfriend to open that in front of your mom anyways? And like everyone else said, use some damn name tags for christs sake!
destroyu 8
There is no reason to give that to your gf in front of your mom... But ur mom was probably more happy than you thought
godfathermock 19
You know there are things called "labels" that you can put on presents,and its ok
Sly_Assassin 11
I take it the vibrator was for your girlfriend. But why would you give her that if she has you??
Charleybelle 14
Gosh I wish I knew the ending to this story