Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML
Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML
Today, I was driving my drunk mother home when my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, so I asked her to answer the call. My mother then questioned him on our sex life and was especially interested to know if we'd used handcuffs because I "like them." I have no recollection of ever telling her this. FML
Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML
Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
iAlissa 34
Maybe the woman respects herself enough not to sleep with a stranger
jensen21 19
When you use "finally gave in" it seems like you were definitely harassing her.
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Comments (354)
NikkiAmber09 12
There's a reason you're not getting laid. Women don't have a right to sleep with you. Quit harassing women and try not to focus on having sex. It's great but there's more to life than sex. YDI and I hope your mom told you off.
hazardmuffin 21
Hah! That's a brilliant idea on her part. If all you were looking for was sex, that's fine, but don't be an asshole and pester girls who clearly aren't interested. No one wants a guy who doesn't respect them enough to take no for an answer.
Not_Impressed13 9
Well said. If a prospective bed mate indicates that he or she is not interested, back off. -This goes for women, too. We men aren't the only ones on the prowl out there!
Recoveryben 15
totally deserved it.
Faddyy6 17
your life not sucks actually you suck!
awkward_gothlady 32
Yikes! You sound like a real catch.
allplayedout 20
Even the way you phrased this FML makes you sound like a ******* creep. Three cheers for the girl who called you on it.
redmnky21 8
it's what u get for being a pig
dgtanner 11
Douche. nuf said.
TogeBara 12
I'm not saying you deserved it, but there are plenty of guys out there that deserve this and get what they are after. Worst part is that a large portion of females that read this and vote YDI have probably had or will have a one night stand. That, in my opinion, invalidates their vote, but whatever. Same thing can be said for guys really. You should focus more on finding a girl you really like than trying to get into some chick's pants. At the very least don't put your mom's number in your phone as "mom" but instead use her real name.
dunicha 20
um, no. just because a girl has had a one night stand in the past does not invalidate her opinion that this guy shouldn't be trying to force himself on a woman who told him no.
BriCx 8
The fact that he wanted a one night stand isn't why he deserved that. If he found a girl who wanted it too, then whatever they do is no one's business but their own. It's the fact that he kept pressuring a girl who clearly did NOT want it that makes him a loser with a mama who should be ashamed of him. And no, I have never had a one night stand and don't plan to. It's just not what I do, but if others want to do it, I won't stop them.
awkward_gothlady 32
How does that invalidate their vote? Maybe the person they had a one night stand with didn't make them feel like they were being coerced into it, or maybe they did feel coerced and thought "ew! never again" and wished they could have done what the girl did. This guy sounds like an entitled creep, and just because someone's had a one night stand doesn't mean she can't legitimately think he deserved the treatment he got.
fwongraven 10
Do all women a favour and Google "consent". Someone having sex in the past does not obligate them to be coersed by any disgusting twat who may ever come their way.
musiciangirl591 16
riddle me this, how does a one night stand automatically invalidate a vote, everyone has made mistakes, including you, ok, back to the fml, she obviously wasn't interested and the fact he used the phrase "finally gave in" makes him sound like a creep... thats why so many people voted YDI
hazardmuffin 21
How on earth does that invalidate their vote? It's not about the fact that OP was looking for a one night stand, it's the fact that OP was an asshole and wouldn't leave the girl alone after she said no. There's nothing wrong with just hooking up for a night so long as it's what BOTH parties involved agree to.
colemarie10 8
The fact that you've said "finally gave in" indicates that you pushed her quite hard on this topic. If she doesn't want to sleep with you after your first, or at the very most second, polite offer then you move on. That shouldn't be something you have to be told. I think she was fully justified in doing that, in fact, I kind of admire her method.