Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for three minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML
Today, I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to cum, I heard my mum's voice on my voicemail: "Hi sweetheart!" FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Today, right before sex, with his dick out and the condom in one hand, the guy I was with answered a phone call from his mum. FML
Today, my girlfriend text me and told me to do something sexy because she was going to FaceTime me. I eagerly dropped my pants and started stroking it to get ready for her. As soon as I opened her call, she was standing with my wife. I literally got caught with my dick in my hand. FML
Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Just as she took her shirt off, her phone rang. It was her mom, demanding she return home. Now I've been cockblocked, and my girlfriend's mom seems to be a goddamn clairvoyant. Awesome. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML
Today, while I was getting it on with my girlfriend I accidentally called out "Mom" instead of her name. FML
Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML
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Top comments
MiniatureMayhem 0
Tell your mom you were enjoying a really good chocolate cake.
junying 0
Your girlfriend totally did that on purpose. :D
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Comments (121)
MiniatureMayhem 0
Tell your mom you were enjoying a really good chocolate cake.
picturescrazy 24
A woman posted this... a woman that has a dick....
epicFAIL_Sometim 0
The cake is a lie
taycandy96 2
which means she's a sheman
vgmaster 0
first time replying.... hehe
Bertha5 0
haha! Suks for u. thta y u donntt answer ur phone while having sexx. ;)
HeresReality 0
true! that's hilarious. also, no guys moan unless they are faking like they like it for thier partner
rennobeinna 0
holy **** ur rite
jpest17 5
love portal!
BlueJeans2626 0
how do you know a woman posted it?
caticaticati 3
Because there's a gender listed under the post. DUHHH.
JF4509 0
lmfaoo
lolpwntdumass 0
your a woman. even if you were a guy, if you can't control yourself your still a woman
hwkfan1 10
maybe she is michael Jackson or lady gaga half!
ZleveL 0
43 it's sheMALE
chicabonita5683 0
That's not true...if it's a surprise, like it was, a moan might escape for some guys.
few12 0
maybe an accident? or it was the woman who posted it for her bf?
few12 0
She was playing with his dick. what if she bent it the other way or something? Think, SHE WAS PLAYING WITH HIS DICK
midnightsdawn13 4
Or has a strap-on/vibrator?
phara_fml 0
Sucks for you. :)
a1b2c3d4e5f6 0
what dick? it says you're a woman
anela_fml 0
ha ha oh my hmmmm
nikkamad 0
looool
kluger 3
Haha, nice.
Nic_hole 0
Hahahaha!
junying 0
Your girlfriend totally did that on purpose. :D
fairygirl88 5
ur girlfriend has a great sense of humor
awesome576 0
hahahaha
climbthoserocks 6
make up an excuse. not that hard.
wandaax03 0
apparently, it was (;
sam11jide 0
hahaha nice
aoife123 0
hahaha, I wish you could 'like' comments on these things
jjstock 7
You can thumbs up lol,next best thing
SecretAgent_700 15
I think #94 was in reply to #16...
chyeahbro 0
ydi for answering the phone while having sex
perdix 31
YDI for not having your own FML account (they cost sooooo much, you hobo!) or being a chick with a dick.
a1b2c3d4e5f6 0
I know! Free is so expensive! It's either: (a) fake (b) the guy is dumb enough to complain using his girlfriends account (c) it's a chick with a dick (d) none of the above Isn't multiple choice fun?
Sirin_fml 47
a) Meh. b) Yawn. c) Suicide by USB port. d) Perdix, you look stunning in that unitard. There is no "shoot Perdix before he starts making sexually inappropriate comments" option, so we are all doomed.
perdix 31
Thanks, Sirin, sometimes I do feel a little bad when I make the "sexually inappropriate" comments in the general FML section, but when they are in the "Intimacy" category, all bets are off, baby!
freakofnature118 0
has no realised that this is fml was poted by a woman? i find it odd that a woman is capable of having her girlfriend play with her dick anyone else?
Tkim32 0
I belive abot 10 people already noticed.
lolpwntdumass 0
ya lol dumass. learn to read.