Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML
Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML
Today, I was driving my drunk mother home when my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, so I asked her to answer the call. My mother then questioned him on our sex life and was especially interested to know if we'd used handcuffs because I "like them." I have no recollection of ever telling her this. FML
Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML
Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
iAlissa 34
Maybe the woman respects herself enough not to sleep with a stranger
jensen21 19
When you use "finally gave in" it seems like you were definitely harassing her.
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Comments (354)
ragini95 16
If you have to 'get' someone to sleep with you, you're doing it wrong. And from all women everywhere - **** off.
stretchedthin 20
you're a pig seriously women are not here to please you sexually if that was me you were pressuring me I would have whooped your ass boy.
LeatherEmporium 7
If you're looking for sympathy, you've come to the wrong place.
Zebediabolical 45
OP sounds to me like one of those desperate guys who buys and memorizes a couple of Pick Up Artist books or goes to a class or something. YDI, dude. You're lucky you didn't get kicked in the nuts.
pazuzus_intern 10
I'm physically incapable of understanding why some guys think that works, some of those lines are the most vulva-withering thing I could ever hear.
brunbanan 12
A no is always a no, Op.
fwongraven 10
Massive, massive props to her for actually fighting back and giving you what you deserve. I hope you read all these comments, I hope your mom makes your life hell and I hope you never, ever do that to a woman again.
FrankHotpants 31
There is always going to be those annoying guys who are only looking to get laid, however it takes two to tango and If no one was ever successful then you'd never see those type of guys. Everyone has different goals when they go out, to each his own. Please don't act like you've just descended from the heavens.
fwongraven 10
He wasn't just "trying to get laid", he was pressuring her for an extended period of time when she wasn't interested. If this technique actually works it's called rape, so it does not "take two to tango" in the case of the OP.
Grauncho 27
You're a scumbag.
nanner42 13
Haha this is gonna be a favorite.
cobslobin 3
Your first wrong was trying to get a chick to sleep with you just by hitting on her. Moron