Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML
Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML
Today, I was driving my drunk mother home when my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, so I asked her to answer the call. My mother then questioned him on our sex life and was especially interested to know if we'd used handcuffs because I "like them." I have no recollection of ever telling her this. FML
Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML
Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
iAlissa 34
Maybe the woman respects herself enough not to sleep with a stranger
jensen21 19
When you use "finally gave in" it seems like you were definitely harassing her.
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Comments (354)
flashback_fml 14
Lololol thats the most hilarious thing I've ever read! Try hitting on dudes you clearly fail with women.
NHKPururin 6
Learn to read social cues. If she wasn't into you in the beginning then you should have walked away. Girls don't like feel like guys are pressuring them to have sex. And you should have enough respect for a woman to back off when she says no.
onorexveritas 24
hats off to her
perdix 31
I hope your mom had the sense to tell her that it was your dad who did the sexual harassment training. Moms don't ususally know the winning harassment strategies.
TrinityNevada 11
I think it was pretty obvious to the girl that he wanted to sleep with her. She could have been honest and said, "I don't want to sleep with you at all, " instead of getting passive-agressive and calling his mom. I used to reject guys with a polite, "I'm not looking, I don't want to give the wrong impression" but then too often, the guy thinks he'll change my mind by proving what a "great guy" he is. (Obviously, he's not such a great guy at all if his immediate response is to change my mind). Now, I just reply with, "I don't want to sleep with anyone. Discussion over". I think it's better when a guy approaches with, "I want something to dip my dick in" because honestly? If they want a relationship, that's what they want too, sex.
monnanon 14
i get the feeling that the girl did make it obvious but that OP didn't believe her.
BriCx 8
OP said he thought she "gave in" so clearly she rejected him at least once and clearly he couldn't take a hint. I wish I could hear about his mom's reaction.
lalaney 14
While I applaud your forthrightness, women who are so transparent about rejection get called "bitch" and "frigid". Most of us have been conditioned to be polite and at least hear the guy out. I've used the "I have a boyfriend" lie more often than I'd like to admit.
tranced_ 45
your mom must be terrified you moron!
pwnman 33
...YDI.
JMichael 26
You're an ass dude. Have some respect for woman.
teresa96706 29
Thanks for sharing this, now I know what to do the next time a guy continues to hit on me and doesn't get the hint.
Komaeda 14
Dude, c'mon. Did you honestly think we would give you sympathy on here? YDI.