Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML
Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML
Today, I was driving my drunk mother home when my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, so I asked her to answer the call. My mother then questioned him on our sex life and was especially interested to know if we'd used handcuffs because I "like them." I have no recollection of ever telling her this. FML
Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML
Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
iAlissa 34
Maybe the woman respects herself enough not to sleep with a stranger
jensen21 19
When you use "finally gave in" it seems like you were definitely harassing her.
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Comments (354)
erinnrose 9
you deserve it 3000x over
hruiz 8
Like a boss
sickerthanyou 13
this happen to me once, but my mom would actually encourage this behavior because she wanted gran children, FYL because your mom is not cool
MzZombicidal 36
So his mom's not cool because she discouraged sexual harassment? You're such an idiot.
EffyFails 18
grand children shouldn't be made through harassment, but through long steady relationship that's most likely to ensure two parents throughout the child's life so that is is cared for, idiot.
Mysterious_one 26
how old are you? seems like you either been hitting on a prostitute.. or your mom best friend.. bad choice
fakedsincerity 32
so, how many restraining orders do you already have?
CrazyMelvin 14
YDI...that's all I have to say to an ass like you.
incoherentrmblr 22
Why would you give her your phone for her to put her # in? Put it in yourself. YDI, you lazy douche...
Xandrick 22
Well, for one thing, he shouldn't have been so persistent. Nobody likes someone who keeps trying and trying when it's clear the woman doesn't want to give in. Second, he rather deserved that. Third, hey, there's nothing wrong with people who just want to hook up and screw. It's just a way of life, and if two people with that same interest want to go through with such activities, let 'em.
myoukei 31
No one said there was a problem with people trying to hook up with other people. Casual sex can be fun. The problem comes when consent is not properly obtained (i.e. When one party coerces the other.)
Not_Impressed13 9
Actually, quite a few comments were hard set against casual sex...
Xandrick 22
What #254 said.
LitaSixx 7
brilliant idea! I might have to use this!
zachary808 9
I hate you all :)