Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML
Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
Today, I accidentally sent a screenshot of my Tinder conversation to my mom, instead of my friend. Yes, it was dirty. FML
Today, my mother's boyfriend sent me pictures of my mom sucking him off. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, my dad had gotten a new cell phone. So I started to mess around with the cool features on his phone and stumbled upon some pictures he had taken. Next thing I know I'm looking at my mom going down on my dad. FML
Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML
Today, while driving with my step mother, she attempted to have phone sex with my dad. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
Clever bastards. The question is, how long did the sexting last?
pinkpixie06 11
Given the nature of this fml, your name is both sweet and disturbing. :-/
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Comments (99)
SkoomaKi 28
Clever bastards. The question is, how long did the sexting last?
mexicotoucher 7
And was it any good?
ttttttyyy 0
The question is, why were you sexting in the first place? If you want to be romantic show up to your girlfriend's house naked.
iliketurdles 7
Ahh, the naked man. It only works 2/3 times.
lonkite101 14
Too long :/
KrayKrayGurl117 7
HIMYM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Loveeeeee that showwwww
nictransitglory 4
Might have gone on for a while since his GF was pumped she was finally getting some sexts now
wallandpiece 16
No, his *girlfriend* wasn't getting 'sexts'.
nado13579 12
14- I love HIMYM! *high fives ya and anyone else who watches it*
nictransitglory 4
Yes 46 that's what makes it a joke. Implying (jokingly) that he normally sends sexts to his mom.
wallandpiece 16
Ok. I (jokingly) understand what you're saying.
Willelm 0
Bleh.
NoOneCaresReally 8
#14 you mean 6/9 times? ;)
tehspy1337 0
#87 Oh, I get it, 6/9, sexting, sex, 69, your profile picture shows your female and that's why it's thumbed up. I get it Thumbs up
NoOneCaresReally 8
Why would me being female result in my comments being thumbed up...?
vanillacocoa 6
Because of your ******^^^ duh
xoconnie 8
FYL, if ur mom is anything like mine... ur dead :/
NuTrees 9
It's a bummer, that in 2012 all these ******* kids tricked themselves into believing that, real friends treat you like shit because your so darn close.. Forever alone and proud!
NoOneCaresReally 8
#118 ahh, right. It all makes sense now. I feel like I can do anything, knowing that my basic anatomy will ensure my success. -.-
ChrisTheCalm 9
#113 don't think of it like that. Once women were thought of as just housewives. You could always just try that. And basically he's saying all it takes for a thumbs up is a clever sexual comment made by an attractive girl for guys to thumb up like the pigs they are.
NoOneCaresReally 8
Attractive? Aww, thanks!
Zelda210 0
The **** bruh? -_-"
Zelda210 0
#113 ^
imp4ct 15
Well autocorrect doesn't work as an excuse here...
ttttttyyy 0
Sure it does.
LightningCactus 12
Nope.
ttttttyyy 0
Yup.
Goldenchest 14
Eeeyup
ManInTheMachine 20
"Yup yup yup." -Ducky (Land Before Time) Don't judge me.
notsorandomguy 18
"I want to put whipped cream all over your **** and lick it all off. -WHAT? Son, we are going to have to have a very serious discussion when you get home -Erm, I meant to say that I'll be home late because I have a group assignement. Damn autocorrect." Yeah, that would work.
blondebrunette11 4
"I want to **** you so bad right now" "What.." "Oh I meant Hey.. Stupid autocorrect"
aKaClickZ 4
Can just hear Kelso's voice here: "Oh! that's a good burn!!"
pinkpixie06 11
Given the nature of this fml, your name is both sweet and disturbing. :-/
shayshayshazam 14
Haha I love when people point out stuff I didn't notice
pavlovaaLOVE 7
Lmfao !!! Too true. U wouldn't know whether to think its sweet or cringe in disgust
negb 30
I'm gonna go with the cringing...
beastroish 0
Hahaha that's hilarious!
Zoranius 6
Well, good luck trying to explain why you wrote that!
onlychildFTW 34
Sexing is a bad idea. Phone companies keep text messages on servers for 1 year after they have been sent.
Zoranius 6
Yeaaah.. And what does that have to do with my comment?
patrickdamoose 5
#92 was just trying to steal your comment. There are a lot of these douchebags out there.
tnlander 20
Mommy incest = dirty.
starwind3438 9
Reread the FML please.
Il_Maestro 6
Freud disagrees. He wouldn't understand the FML.
subversivefreak 2
Did she sext back?
ttttttyyy 0
I should hope not! *shudders*
jdizz16 16
You "should" hope that #15, but the question is... Do you??? *queue the Dramatic Background Music*
liscentious23 1
Shoot is she extremely religious and conservative? Better have a good explanation, like your friend borrowed your phone and did it on purpose to get you in trouble.
elgatobob16 11
Yeah
freshlybreezy 15
Or grow a pair and be a man about it...if he's old enough and man enough to text, he needs to be man enough about it when confronted and fess up to his own actions.
unknown_user5566 27
I didn't realize there was an minimum age or minimum manliness required to text.
Musicholic_asey 1
Help me give your friend a high five!
thisisthriller 1
awwww yeaaaa!
AntonioMontana 0
The person above me is twelve.
i_hate_cats 3
What did she say back?
bizarre_ftw 22
"Gosh honey, I had no idea you felt this way Let's discuss it over coffee, love mom ;)
Psycho_Babydoll 26
Is she hot?
KM96 24
What the hell? It's his mum, he had a girl friend! Your comment Is creepy!
KM96 24
*has - Sorry
siickman 7
Her comment isnt the inly thing thats creepy. The default and the name make me scareeeed >.
CustardAndPie 13
lol #38, the default is her (I assume, at least) with Emilie Autumn.
1crabbygirl 10
It's called rubbing it in, and I think it's funny.
bizarre_ftw 22
20 - if you're not looking to be creeped out then you're lost, FML is for dads that find their daughter's boyfriends dressed up as sex clowns and taped to the ceiling of their shed