Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML
Knock next time please
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Don't wanna know
Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML
Thanks mom
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML
Great chat!
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
You sure this is the right time?
Today, my mom gave me the "birds and the bees" talk, while she was taking a dump. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML
Today, my mom walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. She was completely embarrassed (as was I) and she flew out of the room. My boyfriend, on the other hand, still wanted to finish. FML
Top comments
lilyisme1324 0
Why would u try n mount ur boyfriend in front of ur mom
geod69 8
Threesome
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (295)
geod69 8
Threesome
charliethom 0
Why did your mom see that!!! It's your fault for having public sex NEAR YOUR MOTHER
RaggleFrock 13
Wow. You crazy kids, how about instead of moaning show her some respect
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
1 That's ******* disgusting.
diceplaya 12
I guess this isone of the cases where "better late than never" doesn't apply.
taco_bender 12
Sounds like something that would come out in American Pie
thgiL 9
I keep thinking she continued to mount him while her mom tried to talk
clumsychik 1
60- is that you in the picture?
Ronnie_loves_you 11
Now I can't get the image of her having sex while her mom is just talking like nothing's going on.
shanemaximo 7
I'm going to give OP the benefit of the doubt and not immediately assume she is an exhibitionist sexual deviate with incestuous tendencies. I'm hoping this situation came about with either OP's mom walking in post-mount with some late motherly info. Or it was over the phone. Christ I hope so.
MilkmanPsycho 7
Sounds like a cheesy **** story line in your sense 1..where she is giving her the sex talk, then she goes..no no you're doing him wrong let me show you....those are...just...ew
ilikeboys31 7
Mothers these days.
draegbomb 5
Sounds like the intro of a porno
KeyboardWarrior 10
Since she said "while I was mounting" I'm going to assume that her mother called as she was about to have sex with her boyfriend. Now I could be wrong, but I'm hoping that's the case. Any other possibility would be rather... Awkward.
thgiL 9
No... Lol
downtime 13
73, I think the scary thing is that you seem to have been able to get it before. Did they finally crack down on your spy camera network?
waswashere 0
Sounds like wincest
cunningchick 1
Hey, I might know you...any chance I could get a name? I'm from indiana aswell and you just might know my brother,
Ronnie_loves_you 11
173, I have no idea what you just said?
elmousey 5
262 - he is joking because you said 'Now I can't get the image of her having sex...' as though you could get the image before. I read downtimes' comment and had to go re-read yours and actually lolled a little bit.
niznor99 6
I'd only be ok if it was a stepmom and she was above a 6. That's the only way.
kasumirock 13
242- Hey! We both live on the Earth! Don't I know your mom??
Joey_Bellows 1
I think I saw this in a **** once, it ended rather well.
thebelle97 5
Your mom is awesome
Jazzy_babe 2
That's embarrassing!! Can't she give it to Op another time??
I_Punch_Babies 7
thats what her mom said
SoSickWithIt 14
How is her mom awesome for that?
Justin23L 2
It's never too late in a mother's mind.
DrMime 10
Same can't be said for abortion! Knuck knuck knuck!!! XD
TourettesGuyFTW 26
It's never too awkward either, apparently!!
wolfshadow 4
And it's never to late for now. Obviously the boyfriend did this on purpose, he wanted the mother to come in so his girlfriend would ask the mom to join. Then he'd have both :p
katieeamberr 2
Point 1 for stupidity! Sorry OP.
lilyisme1324 0
Why would u try n mount ur boyfriend in front of ur mom
emmaa3451 11
*why would you try and mount your boyfriend in front of your mom.
blueeyes67 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
*why would you try to mount your boyfriend in front of your mom
AnagenisisZagus 13
^Shhh....
dotar_fml 23
It never crossed your mind that her mom might have walked in after the mounting part had already started?
kitkatmeOw 8
?*
rwbdog82 5
Why wouldnt u?
LouisianaBob 9
76 It's a joke about the wording of the fml.
AmongstTheFaces 5
Well, I'm assuming she had her close off so she was already dedicated, just got to keep going and don't stop.
boundbytheanimus 9
*Why would you try to mount your boyfriend in front of your mom?
AmongstTheFaces 5
I just realized I spelled clothes wrong in my earlier statement... I feel stupid
klutzyduck1 24
Missy, I think we are not the stupid ones here. All of the above repetitions of sentences are corrections of the primary thread poster's (#5), grammar and spelling. Side not:*came not cake.
im_too_pro 2
Side-side note: note, not "not". Since we're all being grammar Nazi's here. OMG, good response ruined
FaithDawson 8
78 No duh!
PierceMePretty 0
I didn't know moms cake into places.
kleopath 11
*clothes
Yung23 0
32- lmfao HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Yung23 0
61- lmao HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Goddamn, what a fail of a thread!
Furrywhiplash 14
117- I completely refuse to take you seriously. You are calling other people stupid when you misspell "came" and lack comma use. And really, you had to use "Omg" and "obvs" in the same sentence? You could at least try to sound intelligent. Or are you incapable of doing that?
drawmesunshine 17
5, I was going to guess OP wanted a hands-on learning experience.
drawmesunshine 17
151 Side side note note not not Makes me happy inside (:
justalilrandom2 4
117, the last time I checked you are meant to be 14 to sign up here. You should also not try and call people stupid when you aren't intelligent enough to notice what they were talking about, I won't have a go over the ale thing as that could just be a typo but your complete miss of the meaning is enough to warrant not commenting on the intelligence of others. Read twice, think and then post in the future.
jtthegr8 26
You're all stupid, enough said.
irockfendergirl 0
185- Who cares if you're smart or not? Either way, who are you to call people stupid? I am positive there are many people on here that are quite intelligent. The intelligent people don't type like this- "omg it's so obvs that ur crzy." I'll be the first to admit that I'm not the smartest person on the planet. I don't go around bashing people by calling them stupid. I think the bleach has seeped into your brain.
justalilrandom2 4
185, you still managed to miss the point completely and call someone stupid whilst doing it. Doing well in school doesn't make you automatically intelligent, some of the smartest people I know are completely stupid without a pen.
jaydesimmons 2
Whole
jtthegr8 26
I agree with 191 and 196, i don't go around talking like an illiterate teenager like most do these days, and i'm not the best in school but i am a lot smarter than my friends who have high grades
jizzwold 21
Im calling trolololol on missy I don't think people are really like her. I hope people aren't really like her.
Furrywhiplash 14
Ok missy215, I'm not trying to be mean here, but it is perfectly viable for people to judge you based on how you type (which perfectly reflects how you talk out loud). I suggest you stop talking like the stereotypical teenage girl, because soon enough the people who will be judging you based on how you talk will be the people who decide if you get a job or not. And you won't get a decent job if you continue to say "like" multiple times in the same sentence (just an example). So please, for your futures sake, grow up.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
She's THIRTEEN, cut her some slack. Yes, I know a lot of you probably weren't like that even when they were her age, and neither was I, but that's not the case for everyone. She's got quite a lot of time to "grow up". She barely just hit her teens, for ****'s sake. And I don't see why you're acting all butthurt over her calling someone stupid (191), when we all do it on a regular basis here, and much worse. Sure, it was ironic, but do we really need to make such a big deal out of it? Thumb down, move along.
ihatemylife10000 0
Grammar Nazzi ugh!
eleynaxo626 0
Are up guys really going to tell her to "grow up" because she said like a lot? Someone else needs to grow up.. I hate bad grammar as much as the rest of you do, but really? It's unnecessary.
Ilikeurfmls 13
Do you guys realize how stupid this is? You are arguing about intelligence over the internet, with people you will probably never meet, and for all you know anyone here could be a old man messing with people and thinking it's funny. Honestly, starting fights on the internet is all around stupid. I am not in any way saying you people are stupid. Just because you do something stupid doesn't mean that that one thing is how that person is all the time. Go ahead, thumbs down my comment but it's the truth.
reggicm 0
*Why would you try to mount your boyfriend in front of your mom?
bjobabygirl 12
That's what I'm saying why in front of ur mom ?
GovernorGeneral 8
Why should 252 get down thumbs ? She ******* corrected them both with the question mark D:<
dudeman1212 22
265- *Thumbs down You're welcome! :D
yahtzeesouls 12
Why wouldn't you*
G4m3rChick 0
F.A.I.L. What does that spell? Idiot.
WTSchool 0
I like that it doesn't spell idiot. (: Lolololol mom's are the best at doing stuff like that...
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
F.A.I.L. Freaky Ass Intimate Lizards
MasterE56 4
**** a Indian lady
dethbyzebra 0
*an Indian
Calyx_fml 22
FML after indecent lay.
Moneylover103 1
Fart after eating lunch
ghostlilac 25
^ Fael.
Fml_FTW228 10
99- Ummm, let me think... No you **** tart it could not because that would spell F.A.E.L.
DrMime 10
Fictitious and irrelevant ludicrous?
ohmandapants 17
119- **** tart? Well! Kellogg's is getting awfully creative! I bet **** tarts taste great.
I_AmTheStig 0
First Attempt In Learning.
twilightluvr101 4
ummm #8 im pretty sure F.A.I.L. spells fail not idiot
154rct 7
Fast asked intercourse line?
cariana 6
I completely agree
ohmandapants 17
157- ah yes thank you for clarifying. You should stop reading twilight, your comment was like the books; boring, obvious and unnecessary.
cheefer 0
: not ;
G4m3rChick 0
Wow y'all r all stupid. I ******* know it spells FAIL not idiot. It's a joke. Jesus Christ.
BostonBruinsFan 8
Fecial Atoms In Lunch
bizarre_ftw 22
Forensic anomalies improve limbo
blackout23 4
For all intelligent tards
J3R3MYY 14
For all inconcistant losers.
Lop0 11
Kind little bitch ain't ya?
starman02 12
Well.. That.. Must have been.. Awkward.. *gag* doing it in front of your mom..
jneville 5
I'd do you infront of your mom!
hwaning21 0
Starman02, I think I love you
CryMoreFMLs 15
You're both ******* creepy....
kemando 22
Whats even creepier is I live in Edmonton Canada as well. O.O west edmonton mall all the waaaay! :D
jizzwold 21
Kemando you must update us when you complete your rape quest.
pimpnainteasy 5
Lol y'all are nuts haha, she's just another girl. Plenty of her around, just she punches sharks and loves piglets lol
kemando 22
Uhmmm i want to steal her time machine plans? Duh.
CSRozell 4
she is pretty nice huh
natashax21 5
Better late than never
Superstitious 6
Perfect timing, actually
arielzbkny 0
Wtf? Why was she in the same room as u?
harvaman20 0
Da fuq u thinkin?
CaptainPickles72 18
were da fuq u learn 2 spel?
biglittlehead 12
Dafuq* no space
drawmesunshine 17
36 ... idk abt 12 but i lrnd 2 spl frm txt msgs ... Evry wrd n 4 ltrs or lss ! Osm !