Today, I learned that my apartment's walls are thin enough for my neighbors to hear my vibrator. I've lived in this apartment for three years. I've been single and horny for all of them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML
Today, I found out that the extremely attractive man that works in my building can hear everything I say about him through the paper-thin walls. FML
Today, I thought I was in a relatively soundproof room before I started up my vibrator. It would have been, if the door wasn't wide open behind the curtains. FML
Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML
Today, I realized that my neighbors can not only hear me singing in the shower through my apartment's paper-thin walls, they also take great delight in recording it so that they can play it at high volume for their friends when they next throw a party. I want to disappear. FML
Today, at dinner, my downstairs neighbors described how they can hear most of my movements, including the buzz of my phone when I text late at night. I think all of us knew that it's not my phone that's vibrating at that time. FML
Today, my new neighbours moved in. I had always thought my bedroom wall was soundproof, because my old neighbours never complained about my loud night terrors. Turns out they were just stone deaf. The new ones can hear everything. FML
Today, the walls in my house are so thin that I heard my roommate yell from the bathroom upstairs, "Hear my butthole roar." Now I’m scared to use the bathroom after him. FML
Today, for the second day in a row, I got to hear both of my roommates having sex, through two closed doors and a hallway. This is as I hit my thirtieth month of involuntary celibacy. FML
Today, I heard some rhythmic moaning from the apartment next door. It took me 10 minutes to realize that my neighbor was not having it off, she was actually vacuuming her apartment. It's been so long since I've had sex that I can't even recognize the sound of other people having it. FML
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Top comments
RoccoRox 0
just say, I do have a boyfriend, he's just battery operated ;).
glorialaura21 8
well just say it's your electric toothbrush! ..and you were making noise bc you have sensitive teeth and it hurts when u brush? lol duhh
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Comments (257)
pcakewafflebacon 0
damn
ajohnson2318 0
you horny horny girl!!
Prototype12 0
you must be ugly as heck, cuz horny girls like you are taken in a heart beat
nobody_u_ko 0
I wonder how you found out about this....
rockr_chick 5
play some music then
makayla_roxx 2
well 12 she could have kicked a wall and it developed a huge hole xD
yazmi_09 3
lol either you have a really loud vibrator or your walls are extremely thin, or both lol, either way, that's pretty funny
black_knight402 0
11 that is true
remy3106 10
lol at 21 :)
IphonFML 6
i think u should stop ur loneliness but keep ur horniness ans sleep with ur neighbour:)
BagleHead 6
How'd you find out? Awkward dinner with you and your neighbors?
glorialaura21 8
well just say it's your electric toothbrush! ..and you were making noise bc you have sensitive teeth and it hurts when u brush? lol duhh
FyourLIFEdotCOM8 0
12- that's what I was thinking. did they pound in the walls saying quite masterbating and get a man??
Jessi2487 0
you could always say its ur razor... you have to shave ur face every day, and the razor blades against ur flesh just feels, soo, good.. and then moan awkwardly.
mfmylifesrsly 30
that's ONE loud vibrator! or either you're loud, which is hot but it wouldn't hurt to keep it down since you live in an apartment.
Stupified 0
Op ydi but luckily us men can be quiet when we **********, as far as the single for 3 years means you're ugly or stupid so fyl. I'm still a virgin w/ no life but as a guy it's up to me to get myself laid, so I can't complain
justmeagirl 0
that's exactly what I was thinking...!
imonaboat79 2
that must be one high powered thunderstick, gasoline or diesel?
lexielovesyou 0
attractive??? i think not [:
sammehsaurus 0
43 Wouldn't they just think OP is even weirder for having to shave her face everyday? lol
NightSkyx 0
I'll brush your teeth lol
Hayman68 4
what does OP mean?
sammehsaurus 0
67- Octagonal Platypus.
Hayman68 4
no seriously
Stupified 0
original pinhead
Just_John 0
67, it means octogenarian pedophile
xWTF_FML_FTWx 1
show me a pic of yourself and I'll see what I can do.
gohabs21 0
82, you be trollin
Spastastic 6
Come on, guys, it's Opulent Parachute.
mak3_1t_ra1n 0
lol I can jus picture this from ur neighbors point of view. ...buzzzz..."there goes our damn single horny neighbor again." lol I bet they have a schedule of when ur goin to.
Stupified 0
Op ydi, a thin wall goes both ways; you should've heard them and realized that they could hear you. Unless your neighbors are silent at all times, or you are an extraordinarily loud screamer, you shouldve noticed. if you and your vibrator are that loud you need to go somewhere more private to do that, such as the moon or a soundproof room or something.
nikkired 0
That's funny , I brush my teeth a lot.
missmurderx 8
it's OPTIMUS PRIME. <3
allenrotstein 0
Oriental Penis
imaginaryvoice 18
Original poster. Common guys, be nice. Lol
mrdoda3 0
maybe she can hear her neighbor ********** as well
Stupified 0
I gave him half of it.
mfmylifesrsly 30
oily penis
Peacemaker9 7
lol
anlhawks 5
47 you're cute :)
patiencek 0
that's what I was wondering!
toxic_monkey 0
nice
TheOptimist 0
Definately should have said you just like to use your back massager. Alot. Don't listen to any of them 67, OP means Orange Penguins.
TheOptimist 0
Better yet, just tell them, "Yes, those are the sounds I make when I **********. Want to know how to shut me up? Get the **** in my bedroom, and get those ******* pants off.
chili10 18
haha how'd you figure it out?
the_flirtt 0
109 or they make bets on when she will do it lol
Nolwen_fml 0
I always wondered if my neighbors could hear mine as well...
shalbriri 0
you make a point there
Bag3l 0
71 - Well Played 123 - Your moms an idiot. YDI for using a vibrator as large as your forearm that produces a hum that is similar to walrus and a hippo having sex.
rowerforlife 0
uhm ew? maybe you should work on the whole boyfriend situation ... just a thougt
OhYeaYourLifeSuc 0
144 ur sexy :]
TheOriginalKyrs 0
172's comment owns any comment to ever exist. ROFLLLLLL!!!
tweetbaby14 18
you must have either paper thin palls or a loud ass dinosaur vibrator.
itsybitsyspider 0
I know the feeling</3 btw that sucks major ass.. fyl
fatham 0
i think ur pretty :D im a guy:' ;)
imonaboat79 2
178 used the words dinosaur and vibrator in the same sentence, that's kinda hot.
patiencek 0
thank you for the kind words 174
johnnyexpl0sion 0
Yeah I think I heard 39 brushing her teeth the other day for a couple of hours. She must have a plaque build up... lol
EminemTM 0
damn girl..
Nick_1993 2
ha sad.
_football4life_ 0
AhHH 2nd but thatsdumb
roflmaker 0
OP add me, MN hoes for bros!
Sprinkle_Donuts 1
Lol @ 82
sexycourtcourt 0
25-u are ******* hot and I agree with u. if ur both horny, go **** eachother
sebastian97 6
You say you have an IQ if 167, did you know Albert Einsteins IQ was only around 140?
emmmmmma_fml 0
ha ha ha ha ha how did you not know the walls were that thin??
rends 0
try coloring
SomePeoplesChild 0
119-- love the comment and the pic.
julie3841 11
Get a boyfriend? Just a thought :P
IphonFML 6
i was gonna tell u to get a bf/gf but i dunno what gender u r :S
lajaynay 15
I don't think very many guys use vibrators...
STr8_CaLi_d0p3 4
26- How many guys do u know that use a vibrator??
sammehsaurus 0
29 You never know.. there are some pretty kinky guys out there lol 0.o
IphonFML 6
refering to hawtcookies :ao
pwincessa23 1
i think 26 is talking to 3. lol i think its a girl
julie3841 11
Hm well if that's the case, I think I'd make a pretty funny-looking guy. Also, I'm happily married and 30wks pregnant with our first little girl. But if he meant op, I guess it could apply to both genders but um..well I won't judge.
Stand_Up 0
Exactly what I was thinking.
rajput 17
and who knows maybe she is a lesbian.
holaworld 0
ohhhh. must have been fun to hear:) haha
OneShotSnipa 0
I know I wouldn't had fun listening ;)
tagerrun 1
ya take numb 3's advice it sure looks like she has one
KarinaLizeth18 5
oh that's just evil >:D
julie3841 11
Ha thanks. I'm sure you're pretty hot too but I don't see a picture.. and if you must know I've been married for almost 2 years to the man I've been with for over 5, and we're expecting our first child in a few weeks.
aquari 0
grats on your kid :D
FantasticFin 0
bahahahahahahahahaha! did you notice she changed her pic? aha self consious much? ahaha
fordgtjo 0
need a cuddle buddy?
cheekywench 0
Turn on a radio.... but honestly who cares if they hear it, maybe they enjoy listening.
OUfootball2 0
yum?
BoCo_fml 9
All I have to say is bzzzzzzzz... lol
reptarroars 7
hire a prostitute D;
RedRiot 0
lol so she can get aids? geat idea..
WiseGuy79 14
Are your walls made of cardboard or something?? No sweat just invite the neighbors over for the live show lol
stevenJB 25
Card board is actually a good noise suppressor...