Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML
Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML
Today, I was driving my drunk mother home when my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, so I asked her to answer the call. My mother then questioned him on our sex life and was especially interested to know if we'd used handcuffs because I "like them." I have no recollection of ever telling her this. FML
Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML
Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
iAlissa 34
Maybe the woman respects herself enough not to sleep with a stranger
jensen21 19
When you use "finally gave in" it seems like you were definitely harassing her.
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Comments (354)
chanelleyy 26
oh dear...
darkmis1 18
Maybe you should treat women like ya know...people, and not just things to sleep with. YDI
Kitsi 14
You're a loser. Women are HUMAN BEINGS! They aren't androids that require a couple buttons pushed then sex. I am so tired of males thinking females are objects. Grow up, immediately. If sex is your only goal, as opposed to meeting people/having an actual relationship...you need to get a life. I am glad she called your mom. YDI 100%.
goth_pixie 15
Once I read "I was sure I could get her to sleep with me" I pushed YDI
HeatherFeatherB 31
So did I. Wasn't required to read the entire thing before voting.
Waredo_Dyrge 11
YDI for being a complete piece of shit, OP. I'm glad that girl did what she did. I hope you die alone.
sanecatlady 13
YDI. My advice to any other woman who sees you is to cross their arms, cross their LEGS, and stay away!
RabbitOfAurora 28
OMG! I love this girl. I want to be her best friend and buy her a pizza because she's amazing.
Alastrina_fml 20
A pizza AND a beer!! =)
nooneherer 5
you should change your user to never getting laid
Alastrina_fml 20
OP, you're one of those guys who whines about being in the "friend zone" when women reject your advances, right? If not, then you're likely one of those guys who texts pictures of his junk to random girls. Women are PEOPLE......they are not a set of body parts here to pleasure you. If that's what you really think of the opposite sex, you're a fucktard and I hope no woman ever deigns to sleep with you.
Bluefire15 8
YDI asswipe. Just look at how you worded it she "GAVE IN" Clearly she didn't wanna do it.